Author Archives: M.A.D. LIGAYA
Grace In A Foreign Land
Today, I begin my 14th year here in South Korea.
Fourteen years ago, I boarded a plane carrying more than luggage. I carried questions. I carried fear. I carried unfinished conversations with the people I loved. And yet, above all, I carried conviction — the kind that whispers, Go. There is more waiting for you.
Time has a way of softening distances and turning foreign places into familiar ground. What was once unknown has become part of my story. What once felt like exile became expansion. And in all these years, I have come to understand that certain decisions do not merely change your address — they change your direction.
South Korea did not simply become my workplace; it became a refining ground. Here, I grew not only as an educator but as a thinker, a writer, and a man of faith. The classrooms sharpened my discipline. The solitude deepened my introspection. The unfamiliar culture stretched my perspective. This land became the platform on which I learned to rebuild, rediscover my purpose, and pursue excellence beyond the limits of my former comfort zone.
I thank the Lord for sustaining me through every season — through doubt, through growth, through silent battles no one else saw. And I thank this country for serving as the backdrop to one of the most defining chapters of my life.
But every long journey has a beginning. Every transformation has a first trembling step.
And mine began with a single day — a day marked by cold air, empty rooms, unanswered calls, unexpected kindness, and a faith that refused to collapse.
That first day in South Korea is something I will never forget.
It was in the early dawn of March 2, 2013 when I left the Philippines aboard Asiana Airlines. Around eight in the morning, the plane landed at Busan International Airport. At that time, Mr. Kenn Lachenal was with me. We were both headed to South Korea to teach English at Gyeongju University.
I admit that during that time, I was overwhelmed — not because of drugs, but because of the many thoughts about my loved ones and the anxiety over the new challenge I had chosen to face.
It was against my will to leave my loved ones behind, but it was necessary. I also did not want to step away from the school I had served as Principal for almost a year. Yet I have always refused to be ruled by my emotions. I did not want to avoid a decision simply because I surrendered to feelings. I carefully thought through my decision to go to South Korea to teach. It was not impulsive. It was part of my plans — a long-considered intention whose time had finally come. I would not allow my emotions to stop me.
It was not the desire for a higher salary that drove me abroad. I was already earning well as a principal. On top of that, I was working as an academic consultant at a technical school and as a part-time college instructor. Financially, I was stable. I had even built a house. The problem was this — I was no longer comfortable in my comfort zone.
I had grown weary of supervising teachers and employees. It felt stagnant — no longer challenging. Something was missing — something I longed to find. Personal issues that needed resolution did not help either. It became clear to me that I needed a radical change in my life if I wanted to preserve my sanity. I had to go somewhere new for a fresh beginning.
I felt as though I was at a dead end — yet I knew there was a world beyond dead ends. That was the world I wanted to reach… to explore.
As Jake Sully, the main character in Avatar, once said, “Sometimes your whole life boils down to one insane move.” Like Jake, though I felt fear, I was certain of my decision before I jumped to wrestle and tame my own “Toruk.”
I brought only two things with me to South Korea — self-confidence and faith in God. That combination has always been my shield against trials and my hook for reaching whatever I aspire to achieve.
I was not seeking luck in this country; I do not believe in luck. I believe that “God gives mercy, but man must act.” My purpose was to write a new chapter of my life here — a new phase in the destiny I believe I must draw for myself.
It was my first time traveling abroad, and I was fortunate to be with Mr. Lachenal. Aside from being helpful, he was experienced in overseas travel. Since we were both headed to Gyeongju University, I was confident I would not get lost.
When we arrived at Busan International Airport, I was shocked by the cold. It pierced through my jacket. I had assumed that since winter had ended and spring was beginning, the weather would be like Baguio. Thankfully, the bus we took to Gyeongju-si had its heater running. Though I was sleepy, I could not fall asleep during the ride. I kept looking at every place we passed. I said to myself, “Here I am in South Korea.”
After nearly two hours, we arrived in Gyeongju-si. Mr. Mark Celis welcomed us. He brought us to the apartments where we would stay — Mr. Lachenal to the “white house,” and me to the “blue house.” Not the White House of Washington D.C., nor any political residence in Seoul — those were simply the names given to the apartments provided by Gyeongju University for foreign professors. They were named after their paint colors. There was also a “yellow house” and a “green house.”
Before leaving, Mr. Celis ensured that my unit was in order and introduced me to another Filipino professor at Gyeongju University — Dr. Randy Tolentino, who also lived in the “blue house.”
When I entered my room, I felt for the first time what it truly meant to be alone — far from loved ones, in an unfamiliar place. I simply stood there, unsure of what to do first.
After regaining composure, I opened my suitcase and slowly arranged my belongings.
The surroundings were silent. I heard nothing but my own footsteps. I could even hear my heartbeat and the sound of my swallowing. After arranging my clothes and things, I suddenly felt the intense cold again — and hunger. The refrigerator was empty. There was a gas stove, but nothing to cook. I made do with the biscuits I had brought from the Philippines.
Then I remembered I needed to call my loved ones to inform them I had arrived safely. When I reached for my cellphone, I realized I had not activated roaming on my SIM card. I felt foolish. I cursed under my breath. I could not call anyone; my phone was nothing more than a music player.
I admit that at that moment, deep sadness overwhelmed me. I was still hungry despite finishing almost all my biscuits. I was shivering from the cold. The silence felt deafening. I was alone, with no one to talk to. I also worried that my loved ones were already anxious, waiting for news from me.
In that moment, I understood the true meaning of HOMESICKNESS — just hours after landing in South Korea.
But amid that sadness, I looked up to heaven and remembered that I had prayed many times for the chance to come to this country. I do not know why, but as far as I know, He has never ignored my prayers. I even wrote a poem about it in English — seven syllables only:
He answers.
Just wait.
Have faith!
I was about to lie down to drown my hunger and sadness in sleep when I heard knocks at my door. It was Randy.
He came in and talked with me. He was from Iloilo. At least I had someone to speak with now. While we talked, he looked at my stove and showed me how to operate it. He must have noticed I was cold, because he also taught me how to use the floor heater. I felt somewhat relieved by his help. He opened the kitchen drawers and found a few cans of food left behind by the previous tenant. He left briefly and returned with packs of noodles and some 3-in-1 coffee.
I was surprised by the generosity Randy showed, whom I would later call Sir Randy. It was as though he had known me for years. He stepped out again and returned, saying, “Come on, bro, my girlfriend has cooked. Let’s eat.”
I followed him to his unit. I was surprised, but I did not hesitate — not because I was desperately hungry, but because I felt the sincerity of his invitation. It would have been embarrassing to refuse.
The food was warm, but warmer still was the care shown to me by Sir Randy and his girlfriend, Nikki, who was from China. I was about to take my first bite when Sir Randy offered a prayer of thanksgiving. My respect for him deepened at that moment. At my first bite, tears welled up in my eyes — moved by their kindness and by how God answers prayers. When the couple looked at me, I casually said I must be catching a cold — that was why my eyes were watery. I do not know if they believed me.
After dinner, Sir Randy walked me back to my unit, carrying some cooked food. I said, “This is more than enough, bro!” He smiled and explained they were leaving for Daejeon and just wanted to make sure I had food until the next day. He then returned to his unit and brought me a pot, a pan, a kettle, and some coffee sticks. I did not know what to say. I wanted to hug him for all the help he was giving.
His kindness did not end there. When he learned I could not use my SIM card, he lent me one of his smartphones and his iPod before they left, and he kept his Wi-Fi open so I could use the internet. Our units were only meters apart, so I could access his connection from my room.
I had no words left. “Thank you” felt worn out from repetition. I wanted to hug him, but he was in a hurry to leave. After he stepped out of my unit, I simply closed my eyes and silently thanked Him. I am not a good person. I am weak and sinful. It is simply that the Lord is gracious and loving to those who call on Him.
I am truly fortunate that on my very first day in South Korea, I met friends like Randy and Nikki. They are more than friends — they are siblings from different wombs. They are the reason my first day in South Korea is so special.
Randy and Nikki are living testimonies of God’s goodness.
MAD’S WORKSHOP
My Main YouTube Channel
MAD’s Workshop is my virtual studio. It is where I blog, vlog, and scratch my creative itch. I have diverse interests, including prose and poetry, education, research, language learning, and sports (basketball and boxing). But I consider self-improvement as my primary advocacy.
I blog and vlog about my interests and advocacies. I create content in English and Filipino. I have two other active YouTube channels:
M.A.D. Ligaya (The Road To Self-improvement): https://www.youtube.com/@madligaya-2
Mukhang_Poet: https://www.youtube.com/@madligaya-3
This channel is the repository for all my videos on my social media accounts.
You can check my research works here:
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/...
Please check my websites also:
https://chingligaya.wordpress.com/
You can read some of my stories here:
https://wattpad.com/user/madligaya
You can see the PINS of the poems I have written here:
An Invitation (YouTube Channel Teaser)
Is self-improvement an end in itself or a means to achieve an end?
By introducing a comprehensive paradigm for self-improvement, I do not seek to complicate the process of personal growth, but rather to present a realistic framework that brings together the many constructs essential to it. There are two serious loopholes in self-improvement schemes promoted nowadays. The first one is the promise of becoming the best version of yourself in a few days or weeks. And the second is the attainment of full potential, being floated as a goal to be achieved rather than a process to be undergone.
Self-improvement is not an end in itself but rather a means to achieve an end. It is not a destination. It is the path to reach a desired destination.
I believe that there is no shortcut, no magic pill, and no single technique that can instantly transform one’s life. Genuine growth requires cultivating the right attitudes and beliefs, developing essential skills and abilities, and consistently practicing positive habits and activities. This holistic approach recognizes that lasting change arises from deliberate effort across multiple areas of life.
Quezon’s Curse
Did Manuel L. Quezon, the second president of the Philippines who served from 1935 to 1944, unknowingly curse the nation when he declared, “I would rather have a government run like hell by Filipinos than a government run like heaven by Americans”?
The Americans eventually ceased governing the Philippines by force after the Second World War. It was not independence that the Filipinos were granted on July 4, 1946, but freedom. The Americans did not save the Philippines from Spain, as some uninformed Filipinos and the rest of the world wrongly thought. The US coerced Spain into selling the island to them. So, the Philippines was passed by a colonial tyrant to another… to a more powerful and ruthless tyrant.
Let this be clear… The US did not save the Philippines from Spain. The former forcibly grabbed our nation from the latter.
When the Americans finally turned over the reins of government to Filipinos, Quezon could have been the happiest man alive had he lived to witness it. At last, the Philippines had a government run by its own people.
But as the saying goes, “Be careful what you wish for.”
Our country has since been governed by Filipino politicians. Given the Philippines’ governance over the decades, how would we assess the performance of those who have served in the different branches of government since the Americans passed the baton of leadership?
Only the blind — and those who benefit from the system — would deny how badly the nation has deteriorated. Only the naïve would refuse to see that the Filipino spirit seems lost. Like a dried leaf in autumn, it drifts wherever the wind blows. The Filipino identity has become like a shattered mirror. Each broken piece reflects a different truth, yet none shows the whole picture of who we once were or what we should be as a people.
As a nation, we are as fragmented as the islands that form our archipelago. The colonial strategy of “divide and conquer,” once used to weaken and subjugate us, continues to linger in our society. Even today, it keeps us deeply divided.
And all this appears to trace back to what now feels like Quezon’s curse — “a government run like HELL by Filipinos.”
For how long have we been led by politicians who seem to have descended from hell itself? Would it be unfair to describe members of the executive and legislative branches as soulless demons who take turns plunging their hands into the nation’s coffers, depriving the people of the services and opportunities they deserve? And what of those in the judiciary and the military who appear to look the other way?
One cannot help but recall the countless anomalous “flood control projects” — billions poured into programs meant to protect communities, yet every year, towns and cities continue to drown while only a select few grow richer. What was supposed to shield the people from disaster has instead become another avenue for plunder.
The sad reality is that the Filipino people cannot simply play the victim. It was Filipinos themselves who summoned these demons from the depths of hell and enthroned them in Malacañang and in Congress. In short, they voted for them. And the sadder part is that even now, when it is clear as day that the devils they have chosen are guilty of corruption, many still continue to support them.
Thus, Quezon’s pronouncement refers not only to Filipino politicians but also to the Filipinos who placed them in power.
“Kawawang Inang Bayan.”
Would we not, at times, be tempted to think that perhaps we would have been better off had the Americans continued to run our government?
Would we not be tempted to accept their old justification for staying on Philippine soil — that Filipinos were not ready for self-governance?
Yet perhaps Quezon did not curse us at all.
Perhaps what he offered was not a prophecy of doom but a challenge — a declaration of faith in the Filipino people’s capacity to govern themselves, to learn from their mistakes, and to shape their own destiny. The tragedy is not that Filipinos were given the reins of government. The tragedy is that, over time, many surrendered vigilance, traded principles for convenience, and allowed power to fall into the hands of the few.
A government “run like hell by Filipinos” was never meant to be permanent. It was meant to be corrected by an awakened citizenry. Democracy was supposed to be a system in which bad leaders could be removed, corruption punished, and the people remain the true sovereign.
But when a nation grows tired, when poverty silences voices, and when hope is repeatedly betrayed, tyranny does not need foreigners to thrive. It is cultivated from within.
Quezon’s words were not a curse. They were a warning wrapped in hope.
What turned that hope into hell was not Filipino governance itself, but Filipino complacency. We allowed demons to rise not because we were incapable of self-rule, but because we stopped guarding it fiercely.
In the end, the real question is not whether Quezon cursed us.
The real question is whether we, as a people, abandoned the responsibility that freedom demanded.
Sense of Fulfillment
“Those who live a life of purpose will find true fulfillment .”
~ Hardpen ~
In my book “Paradigm for Self-Improvement”, I proposed a framework for personal growth and development. One of the main constructs I explored in the said framework is fulfillment.
In the self-improvement framework, fulfillment is presented as the outcome of the process. This concept has multiple definitions, but in my book, it is described as akin to “the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted.” I use the phrase “akin to” because fulfillment goes deeper than accomplishment.
Fulfillment (characterized by achieving health, success, and happiness) is presented as the outcome of the self-improvement process. When you embrace personal growth and development, your ultimate goal becomes realizing your full potential.
Through self-improvement, you will acquire attitudes, beliefs, skills, and abilities, and engage in practices and activities to become your best and strongest version. The transformation you will undergo will enable you to achieve success, maintain good health, and experience genuine happiness, giving you a sense of fulfillment.
Establishing the connection between achieving one’s full potential and experiencing fulfillment—where the latter results from the former—aligns with Jim Rohn’s statement: “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become.”
The quote implies that self-improvement is a prerequisite to fulfillment. It emphasizes the importance of personal growth and development in pursuing success, health, and happiness. Rohn suggests that you do not need to chase these things. Fulfillment naturally comes when you focus on improving yourself from within. It is the byproduct of becoming the best you.
When you cultivate the right attitudes and beliefs, hone the necessary skills and abilities, and consistently perform the vital practices and activities, you grow personally and professionally, and opportunities and achievements will follow naturally. When you work hard to improve yourself, you create conditions where success is drawn to you.
Some people argue that fulfillment—the realization of dreams and ambitions—is the ultimate goal of self-improvement. They view it as the end, and self-improvement is the means to achieve it.
The relationship between the constructs of self-improvement and fulfillment, as articulated by Jim Rohn, can be framed in Simon Sinek’s WHY-HOW-WHAT structure.
The Why (Goal) is to attain full potential, the How (Plan) is the self-improvement process, and the What (Outcome) is fulfillment (Health, Success, Happiness)
Molding the relationship between self-improvement and fulfillment within Sinek’s Why-How-What framework is necessary to present this connection more clearly in the context of my proposed self-improvement paradigm. The WHY (or the reason) for undergoing personal growth and development is attaining full potential, while the pursuit of fulfillment—becoming successful, healthy, and happy—is the WHAT. The HOW is the self-improvement process.
The pursuit of personal growth and development becomes deeply rooted when achieving one’s full potential serves as the core purpose (WHY). Perhaps this is because I subscribe to the dictum that becoming the best version of yourself leads to success. Success, health, and happiness are the natural consequences of growing and enhancing one’s abilities.
That does not mean that making fulfillment your WHY is wrong. If your motivation comes from the joy and satisfaction of achieving something or accomplishing specific and meaningful goals, fulfillment could be a better WHY.
“Becoming the best you” or “achieving fulfillment” are good reasons to embrace self-improvement. Both of them are powerful and meaningful WHYs. Which one you choose depends on what resonates more deeply with you.
Fulfillment, as presented here, is highlighted as the “WHAT.” Specifically, the tangible outcomes of the self-improvement journey are success, health, and happiness. As to why I have grouped these three concepts to characterize fulfillment, I will explain toward the end of this discourse.
Volumes have been written about success, health, and happiness.
Success, as defined in various dictionaries, broadly refers to achieving desired results, whether fame, wealth, or accomplishment. Prosperity, wealth, and triumph are some of the words synonymous with success. These definitions and related terms reveal how success is quantified through wealth, status, influence, and achievement, contributing to our understanding of fulfillment.
So, when asked who the most successful people in the world are, we never fail to mention the names of the world’s wealthiest men listed in Forbes’ top billionaires. The next ones on our lists are showbiz, sports, media, and political personalities.
When we discuss successful people, we also remember the names of quite a few—some of them our friends—who may not be rich, famous, or influential but excel in their respective fields of endeavor.
Some questions are begging for answers.
Are those people we consider successful happy, too? Do their money, fame, power, and accomplishments bring them happiness? Nobody knows but themselves and perhaps their loved ones and close friends.
At least they have the money. However, can their money buy them happiness? Can money buy happiness? These questions have been asked so often that they could already be considered meaningless. However, in the light of the present discussion, they should be asked, not to have them answered, but as a point to ponder.
We presume that with all the luxuries the money of the wealthy, famous, and powerful could afford, it is almost impossible that they are not happy. Unless it is true that, according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, only the basic needs (physiological and safety) can be met by money. Psychological needs (esteem, belonging, and love) and self-fulfillment are not available on the shelves of even the most expensive stores.
Here is the next question: “Are they healthy?”
They are already wealthy, famous, and powerful. They are truly blessed if they are also in good shape. Of course, they are—financially. But what about the physical, emotional, mental, and other dimensions of their well-being? Again, nobody knows but themselves and the people close to them.
Whether or not they are suffering from any debilitating disease, mental anguish, or emotional stress is difficult to determine.
I brought out the questions on happiness and health in the discussion of success because there is a need to strike a balance between the ephemeral and the ethereal when defining the concept. The prevailing view of success is materialistic. We attach tangible proofs to it—money, a big house, a new car, a degree, a job title, a specific body type, etc. I am not saying such an act (attaching tangible proof of success) is wrong. Nevertheless, I consider it not encompassing.
Why?
What about simple people who did not attend school, did not have cars, and lived in simple houses in far-flung farming and fishing villages, happily living a simple life with their loved ones and diligently performing their role in society? Would they not be considered as having achieved fulfillment?
When you do not have a mansion, a car, fancy clothes, expensive jewelry, a university degree, or a considerable amount of money in the bank—when you are not famous and not influential—when you are just an ordinary, decent individual, honestly earning a living and contented with what you have and what you are capable of achieving, but you are happy and healthy, would you not be considered successful?
Success need not be confined to material possessions or societal acclaim. For the farmer rising at dawn to nurture crops, the fisherman braving the waves to provide food, the driver ensuring safe journeys, or the janitor maintaining clean spaces, success can be measured by the dignity with which they live and work. Their fulfillment lies in their purpose, dedication, and the quiet joy they derive from their societal roles, which they fulfill diligently and without complaints.
Viewing success in this light means measuring it as personal and individual, like happiness and health. There is no standard measuring stick that can be imposed for its measurement. You must set your parameters when determining your happiness.
When we consider success as part of the holistic idea of fulfillment—blending health, happiness, and purpose—it becomes a universal concept accessible to all, regardless of status or possessions.
The most valuable lesson I heard about success is this: You, yourself, must define it. Do not allow other people to define success for you. Do not subscribe to the standards they set. You know your capabilities and limitations. Factor them in when setting your success parameters. However, do not be satisfied with your current skill set. You must improve and raise your bar as you see yourself improving. Do not forget that as you reach your goals, you should not sacrifice your happiness and health.
This brings me to why I have bundled success, health, and happiness as the key descriptors or manifestations of fulfillment. These three elements are interconnected and essential for a truly fulfilling life. Fulfillment is a harmonious state where success, health, and happiness converge.
Success is a source of personal and professional fulfillment, but not worth sacrificing good health. Similarly, happiness can add meaning and joy to life, but cannot stand alone without the stability of success or the vitality of good health. To achieve true fulfillment, you must experience all three simultaneously, as they complement and reinforce one another, creating a balanced and complete sense of well-being.
In bundling success, health, and happiness as the key descriptors of fulfillment, we recognize their interdependence and collective power to shape a truly enriched life. Success without health is fragile; health without happiness is incomplete; and happiness without the satisfaction of achievement may lack depth. Fulfillment arises from the synergy of these three elements, which create a balance that nourishes both body and spirit.
When you travel the road to self-improvement, remember that fulfillment is not a static final destination but a continuous state to aspire to, shaped by your choices and priorities. You will live a productive and deeply satisfying life by nourishing success, health, and happiness, and equally giving importance to each other.
Huwag Kang Lilingon ~ Chapter 11
Chapter 11
“Kabuntot Na Anino”
Sa gitna ng kadilimang iyon ay bigla kong naalaala ang propesiya ni Kharon. Akala ko ba ay mabubuhay ako para isalaysay ang kwentong ito.
Bakit ang mga ingay na narinig ko kanina ay unti-unting naglaho? Bakit nawala ang liwanag? Para akong lumulutang. Pakiramdam ko’y nawalan akong ng bigat. Para akong balahibo ng ibon na nakalutang at itinataboy ng hangin patungo sa hindi ko malaman kung saan.
Ang mga alaala sa isip ko’y dumaan na parang mga bubog ng salamin—bawat isa ay nagpapakita ng isang eksena sa buhay ko bago tuluyang maglaho.
Pagkatapos ay biglang dumating ang mga Sutsot.
Bakit narito pa rin sila? Akala ko ay wala na. Nasaan ang mga Guardians? Nasaan si Eve? Wala na silang lahat. Ako na lang—ako laban sa mga Sutsot?
Naramdaman ko ang malamig na hawak ng mga Sutsot sa aking binti, hinihila ako pababa, gusto akong ibaon sa kailaliman. Nilamon ng pangamba ang aking dibdib. Sumipa ako, nagpupumiglas—bawat galaw ay dala ng matinding desperasyon. Sa pagpupumilit ko’y, nakawala ako sa kanilang kapit at tumakbo, habang ang sakit ay nag-aapoy sa aking sugatang binti.
Lumingon ako at nakita ko sila sinusundan ako. Tila ayaw akong pakawalan. Umaatungal at umaalulong ang mga aninong humahabol sa akin, hanggang sa may lumitaw na isang lagusan, nasa bandang unahan.Parang umiikot ang lagusan ngunit wala akong ibang puwedeng takbuhan. Tanging ang liwanas sa bandang dulo ang aking nakikita. At parang hinihila ako ng liwanag na iyon.
Muli akong lumingon. Malapit na akong abutan ng mga Sutsot.
Binilisan ko pa ang aking takbo. Masakit man ang isang binti ko’y tiniis ko. Ang liwanag sa unahan ay lalong nagningning sa bawat hakbang, nangangako ng init, buhay, at pagkakataong makaligtas. Tumakbo ako, sumugod—ibinigay ang bawat hibla ng aking lakas. Nang malapit na ako sa dulo ng lagusan, tumindi ang liwanag, masakit sa mata.Napapikit ako. Pagkatapos ako ay natisod.
Nakadapa ako sa sahig. Tumangging kumilos ang aking katawan. Kahit anong pilit ko, hindi ako makatayo. Naubos ng pagtakbong iyon ang bawat hiblang aking lakas. Sumisigaw ang isip ko na magpatuloy, pero ang katawan ko ay sumuko na.
Akala ko ay narating ko na ang dulo. Sa pagitan ng dilim at liwanag, nakita ko ang kanyang mukha—hindi ang Eve na binaluktot ng sumpa ni Berith, kundi ang babaeng minsang ako’y nginitian. Kumapit ako sa imaheng iyon na parang isang butil ng rosaryo—ang huling dalisay na bagay na natitira sa loob ko.
Hinintay ko ang pagdating ng mga kampon ni Berith. Pero walang dumating. Nasaan kaya sila?
Idinilat ko ang aking mga mata. Ang matalas na sinag ng ilaw sa kisame ay tumusok sa aking paningin. Muli akong pumikit. Ako’y nalilito, nagtataka kung ano ang nangyayari.
Pagkatapos ay naramdaman ko ang unan sa ilalim ng aking ulo.
Nakahiga ako sa isang kama. Ang tuluy-tuloy na tunog ng “beep” at ang mahinang ugong ng mga makina ang humila sa akin pabalik mula sa kawalan. Ang amoy ng gamot ay nasagap ng akin ilong. Nagpaalaala ito sa akin ng mga gabing binantayan ko ang aking ina noong minsang siya ay nasa ospital.
Dahan-dahan, idinilat kong muli ang aking mga mata at napangiwi sa liwanag sa itaas. May mga manipis na tubo mula sa aking mga kamay patungo sa dalawang IV bags na nakasabit sa tabi ng kama—mga linyang nag-uugnay sa akin sa mundo ng mga buhay. Itinaas ko ang aking nanginginig na braso at naramdaman ang malamig na tape sa aking balat—patunay na hindi panaginip ang lahat-lahat.
Buhay pa ako. Huminga ako… at huminga pa ako nang mas malalim. Ang hindi maipagkakailang amoy ng silid ng isang hospital ay pinatutunayan ang marupok na katotohanang buhay pa ako.
Pero nasaan si Eve?
Napansin ko ang isa pang pasyente na nakahiga sa aking kanan, malapit sa isang bukas na bintana. Nandoon siya, si Eve. Maputla ang kanyang mukha, nakapikit ang kanyang mga mata, at ang kanyang kamay ay nakalaylay sa gilid ng kama.
Isang malaking ginhawa ang bumalot sa akin nang makita kong tumataas-baba ang kanyang dibdib, mahina pero matatag. Pareho kaming nakaligtas sa kalupitan ng mga Sutsot.
Dahil wala na si Tomas, ang tungkuling protektahan siya ay mas mabigat pa kaysa sa benda sa aking binti. Alam kong wala na si Berith, at ang Diyos Ama ay laging magbabantay sa amin. Pero walang puwang para maging kampante. Hindi ko sigurado kung naubos ba ng apoy ang lahat ng mga kampon ni Berith sa Isla Miedo. Kailangan kong bantayan si Eve.
Kumikirot ang aking binti—ang bahaging tinamaan ng bala—tumitibok sa bawat paghinga ko. Sa kabila ng sakit, isang tahimik na pagdiriwang ang nabuo sa loob ko habang inaalala ang lahat ng nangyari bago ako nawalan ng malay. Natalo ang mga Sutsot. Hindi nagwagi ang kasamaan.
Naalaala ko ang sinabi ni Jasmine: “Maaaring bumagsak ang katawan ng mga demonyo, pero ang kanilang espiritu ay nananatiling buhay. Hindi sila namamatay gaya ng mga tao. Ngunit kapag sila ay nagapi, itinatapon sila sa lawa ng apoy—isang lugar na walang takasan, kung saan ang paghihirap ay walang katapusan.”
Si Berith ay nasa kailaliman na ngayon ng lawa ng apoy, nangingisay ng walang hanggan, isinumpa, at walang ng kapangyarihan. Ang mga sakripisyo nina Tomas, Daniel, Fidel, Marco, at Jasmine ay hindi nawalan ng saysay. Ang pagkamatay nina Adam, Julie, at lahat ng biktima ng mga Sutsot ay naiganti na, kasama ang hindi masabing kalapastangang ginawa ni Berith sa isip at katawan ni Eve.
Hindi nagtagumpay ang kasamaan. Pero nagtatago lang ito sa likod ng kadiliman at muli ito magtatangkang bumalik sa ano mang pagkakataon. Hindi ito susuko kahit kaylan. Kaya dapat laging magbantay at handang muling lumaban.
*****
May dalawang tao palang nakaupo malapit sa pintuan—mga kasamang hindi inaasahan pero pamilyar. Ang kanilang madilim na pulang tunika ay nagmamarka sa kanila bilang mga miyembro ng Guardians of Light.
Sa mga dahilan na hindi ko maipaliwanag, muli akong nakaramdam ng kilabot. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba ang presensya ng mga Guardians ay nagpapaalaala sa akin ng mga nakatatakot na karanasan namin sa Isla Miedo at sa safehouse.
Pagkatapos, isang kakaibang init ang bumukal sa aking leeg at dibdib. Nanggagaling ito sa kwintas na may krus na ibinigay sa akin ng pari. Bakit hindi niya ito kinuha pabalik?
Inilabas ko ito mula sa ilalim ng aking damit at hinalikan ang krus. Gawa ito sa pilak. Ito ay mas malaki kaysa sa mga pangkaraniwang krus na ginagawang kwintas. Tila nilikha ito para sa uri ng kasamaang dasal lamang ang puwedeng ipanlaban.
May kumatok sa may pintuan. Ang isang Guardian ay bumunot ng baril, ang isa naman ay inihanda ang machete. Dahan-dahan nilang binuksan ang pinto.
At nandoon siya—si Jeff.
Tumingin sa akin ang mga Guardians.
“Kaibigan namin siya,” sabi ko. “Pakiusap, patuluyin ninyo.”
“Salamat, bro.” Iaabot ko sana ang aking kamay pero nilagpasan ako ni Jeff… dumiretso siya kay Eve.
Nakita ko siyang hinahaplos ang buhok ni Eve gamit ang nanginginig na mga kamay. Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata. Akala ko na noong nawala na si Berith, hindi ko na kailangang makipagkumpitensya para sa kanyang puso. Pero nakalimutan ko—bago pa siya kinuha ni Berith, pagmamay-ari na nga pala siya ng iba. Hindi siya akin. Hindi ko puwedeng angkinin.
“Willy.”
Idinilat ko ang aking mga mata. Nagulat ako nang makitang nakatayo na si Jeff sa tabi ko, ang kanyang kamay ay nasa aking balikat.
“Salamat sa ginawa mo para kay Eve,” sabi niya. “Ako na ang bahala sa kanya ngayon. Hindi mo na kailangang mag-alala.”
Ang kanyang tingin ay palipat-lipat sa aking mukha at sa krus sa aking dibdib. Tumango lang ako. Wala namang kaylangan pang sabihin.
Bumalik siya sa tabi ng kama ni Eve, kumuha ng upuan, at naupo. Habang pinapanood ko siyang hinahaplos ang pisngi ni Eve, naramdaman ko ang selos sa ilalim ng aking mga benda—isang hapdi na dulot ng kanyang pagpili kay Jeff. Hinarap ko ang mga halimaw at tinawid ang impiyerno mismo, pero ang puso niya kahit kaylan ay hindi kailanman ko mapapanalunan.
Pero ang pag-ibig ay hindi laging tungkol sa pagmamay-ari; minsan, ito ay ang tahimik na hiling para sa kaligtasan at kabutihan ng minamahal mo. Anuman ang mangyari sa kanya, alam kong lagi ko siyang mamahalin—nang tahimik, nang buo, kahit na mangahulugan itong mahahalin siya mula sa malayo.
Gusto kong magsalita—ipaliwanag ang lahat ng nangyari—pero hindi na muling tumingin sa akin si Jeff. Marahil ay hindi ito ang tamang panahon.
Ang presensya ni Jeff ay maaaring labag sa aking kagustuhan, pero ang isiping si Eve ay may karagdagang tao na magbibigay sa kanya ng proteksyon ay nagpapanatag sa akin. Sa piling ni Jeff, maaari ko munang ipikit ang aking mga mata, hayaang makapagpahinga ang aking katawan, at hindi mag-alala sa kanyang kaligtasan.
*****
Naalimpungantan ako. Ako pala’y panandaliang naidlip. Isang manipis na kurtina ang naghihiwalay sa amin mula sa mga Guardians. Ang kanilang mga bulong ang gumising sa akin. Nanatili akong tahimik, nakapikit ang mga mata.
“Siyanga pala,” bulong ng isa, “totoo bang nakatakas si Berith mula sa katawang inagaw niya bago pa man mapugotan ang ulo?”
“Oo,” sagot ng isa pa. “Iyon ang narinig ko. At isa sa mga Guardians na kasama sa safehouse kagabi ay nawawala.”
Bigla kong naalaala—ang dugong tumalsik sa aking mukha nang mapugot ang ulo sa katawan ni Adam.
Hindi nga pala berde. Pula. Oo, pula iyon
Sumikip ang aking dibdib. Masyado akong maagang nagdiwang. Hindi pa pala tapos ang bangungot. Nagpalit lang ito ng mukha. At si Berith, na hindi na nakagapos sa Isla Miedo, ay isang nakapangingilabot na kaisipan.
Lahat ng tinawag kong kaibigan ay wala na. Ang tungkuling protektahan si Eve ay nasa akin na lang—at marahil kay Jeff. Sana lang ay matibay ang kanyang paninndigan na ipagtanggol si Eve. Sana ay handa siya magbuwis ng buhay para sa kanya.
Magtutulungan kami ni Jeff sa patiyak na walang mangyayaring masama kay Eve.
Pagkatapos ay muli kong naramdaman ang init mula sa kwintas kong suot. Sinundan itokilabot sa aking gulugod. Hinawakan ko ang krus, mainit pa rin ito, na tila nagbabala sa akin ng may nagbabantang panganib.
Tumingin ako sa kama ni Eve.
Bakante.
Wala na rin si Jeff.
Bigla akong napa-upo, hinablot ang IV tubing mula sa aking kamay, at pilit na tumayo.
“Wala si Eve!” sigaw ko.
Nagmadaling lumapit ang mga Guardians habang paika-ika akong naglakad patungo sa kanyang kama. Ang bintana sa tabi ng kama ni Eve ay nakabukas at ang mga kurtina ay hinahampas ng hangin.
Doon ko lang napagtanto na nasa ground floor kami ng hospital. Gusto kong tanungin ang mga Guardians kung bakit hindi nila na-secure ang bahaging iyon ng kwarto. Pero huli na ang lahat.
Marahil ay hinayaan ako ng Diyos na mabuhay hindi para magpahinga, kundi para magbantay sa huling pagkakataon. Isang malamig na hangin ang gumapang sa loob ng kuwarto, bumabalot sa aking leeg na parang bulong mula sa libingan. Sa labas, ang mga sanga ay kumakaluskos.
Pagkatapos ay muli kong narinig ang paswit na iyon…
PSSSSTTTT…
Ang krus ay lalong uminit sa aking dibdib; mabilis na dumapo ang kamay ko rito. Nangibabaw ang aking instinct. Ipinikit ko nang mariin ang aking mga mata, pinipilit ang sarili na huwag tumingin sa pinagmumulan ng tunog.
Ganoon din ang ginawa ng mga Guardians—lahat kami ay tumalikod sa bintana. Maaaring may Sutsot sa labas, inaakit kaming salubungin ang kanyang tingin, naghihintay ng kahit kaunting lamat sa pananampalataya para makapasok sa loob.
Tila nagpigil ng hininga ang buong silid.
Dahan-dahan, idinilat ko ang aking mga mata. Ang isang Guardian ay humakbang pasulong at isinara ang bintana, habang ang isa naman ay tumakbo sa pinto at pumwesto roon. Inilabas niya ang kanyang telepono at tumawag.
“Nawawala si Eve… Nawawala si Eve… Kailangan namin ng tulong… Kailangan namin ng tulong.”
Nilapitan ko ang bakanteng kama kung saan dating nakahiga si Eve. Ang mga kumot ay hawak pa rin ang manipis na hugis ng kanyang katawan, ang multo ng init na mabilis na naglalaho. Maging ang krus ay naging malamig—wala nang buhay, tila ang liwanag nito ay umurong sa katahimikan.
Isang luha ang pumatak sa aking pisngi bago ko pa ito mapigilan. Ipinatong ng isang Guardian ang kanyang matatag na kamay sa aking balikat.
Marahil ay hindi siya nawala. Marahil ang pag-ibig—gaya ng kasamaan—ay hindi tunay na namamatay. Nagbabago lamang ito ng anyo.
Hindi pa tapos ang mga Sutsot. Si Berith ay buhay—suot ang laman ni Jeff na parang isang maskara. Ang dalawa kong karibal ay nagsanib puwersa na. Magkasama nilang kinuha si Eve mula sa akin.
Pero hindi pa tapos ang laban. Hahanapin ko siya. Ibabalik ko siya.
Pagkatapos, ang krus sa aking leeg ay muling uminit.
– W A K A S –
Huwag Kang Lilingon ~ Chapter 10C
Chapter 10C
“Ang Tunggalian”
Pagkatapos niyon ay malayang kumilos na ang sanggol na Sutsot. Ang mga anak ng demonyo ay gumapang nang may nakatatakot na bilis, paroo’t parito sa sahig, bawat galaw ay sadyang nakakakilabot. Dahan-dahan, nagsimula silang gumapang patungo sa mga bangkay nina Tomas, Jasmine, at Marco. Pagkatapos ay nilapa nila ang mga tiyan ng mga patay, mabangis na nag-aagawan sa mga laman-loob. Nanonood si Berith, nagmamalaki habang kumakain ang kanyang mga anak. Gutom na gutom ang mga maliliit na Sutsot.
At si Eve—tuluyan ng nawala sa sarili. Tila nagagalak pa sa lagim na nagaganapa sa harap niya. Nawala na ba siya sa sarili… o tuluyan nang nahulog sa ilalim ng lason ni Berith? Paano ko siya maililigtas? Paano ko siya aagawin mula sa kanya?
Sa wakas, ay naabot ko na rin ang machete. Sinubukan kong tumayo, pero hindi sumunod ang aking katawan. Masyadong maraming dugo na ang nawala sa akin. Nanginig ang aking mga braso sa sarili nilang bigat lalo na’t ang hawakan ng machete ay madulas dahil sa dugo. Gumapang ako paatras patungo sa pader at isinandal ang aking likod doon.
Pagkatapos, ang Sutsot—si Berith sa katawan ni Adam—ay ibinaling ang tingin sa akin. Gamit ang boses ni Adam, parang nangungutya itong nagtanong, “Ano na ngayon, Willy?”
Nang kausapin ako ni Berith, ay napunta sa akin ang atensyon ng isa sa mga maliit na nilalang. Nanlaki ang mga mata nito, naging kasing-itim ng gabi, at sumisingasing na parang ahas habang dahan-dahang gumagapang patungo sa akin.
Tinipon ko ang natitira kong lakas at iwinasiwas ko ang hawak kong machete—pero bago pa tumama ang talim, ang sanggol na Sutsot ay nagbagong-anyo at naging usok, parang aninong nadulas sa hangin. Huli na nang naala-ala kong dapat ay ipinikit ko pala ang aking mga mata.
Naramdaman ko ito—ang kakaibang pakiramdam na may tumutulak sa akin palabas ng sarili kong katawan, palabas sa aking mga mata. Wala na ako sa kontrol. At mula sa pakiramdam na may nagtutulak ay parang nagiging merong humihila sa akin palabas sa aking katawan.
Sa unang pagkakataon, nakita ko ang sarili kong katawan hindi sa repleksyon sa salamin. Nakikita ko ang kalahati ng aking espiritu, mula baywang pataas, na lumalabas sa isa kong mata.
At doon bumalik sa isipan ko ang propesiya ni Kharon, “…isa lang sa inyo ang mabubuhay para isalaysay ang kwento.”
Pakiwari ko ay itinulak ako a gilid ng bangin… at malapit na akong mahulog.
Ngunit hindi pa ako handang sumuko. Ako na lang ang natitira para labanan ang mga demonyong ito at iligtas si Eve. Mayroon akong armas na mas matalas kaysa sa anumang itak sa mundo—ang pananampalataya ko sa Diyos. Kahit na hinahati ng sindak ang aking kaluluwa, kumapit ako sa tanging bagay na puwede kong panghawakan sa lahat ng pagkakataon —ang aking pananalig. Kailangan kong mabuhay nang maisalaysay ko ang kwentong ito.
Ibinulong ko sa hangin ang Ama Namin. Nanalig akong ang bulong kong iyon ay ihahatid ng hangin sa tainga ng mapagpalang Ama. Bawat salita ay naglalatag ng apoy sa aking isipan, bawat linya ay isang pakikibaka, isang kislap laban sa kadiliman. Kung ito man ang paraan ng aking kamatayan, mamatay akong habang nakikipag-usap sa nagbigay sa aking ng buhay.
Habang binibigkas ko ang bawat linya ng dasal, nakikita ko ang aking espiritu na dahan-dahang bumabalik sa aking katawan, at ang anino ng Sitsit ay lumalabas naman sa isa ko pang mata.
Nang mabawi ko ang aking katawan, at sa sandaling ang sanggol na Sitsit ay lumapag sa sahig sa kanyang pisikal na anyo, muli kong iwinasiwas ang itak. Nahiwa ang sanggol na halimaw sa gitna.
Isang malakas na atungal ang umalingawngaw. Ang poot ni Berith ay namilipit sa kanyang mukha habang pinagmamasdan ang isa sa kanyang mga anak na wala nang buhay at duguan sa harap ko.
Ang demonyo, na iika-ika, ay sumugod; ang kanyang mga paa ay humahampas sa madulas na sahig. Sinubukan kong bumangon para salubungin ang hayop na halimaw pero bumigay ang aking mga tuhod; ang mundo ay tila tumagilid. Napaupo akong muli.
Nang lumapit si Berith, iwinasiwas ko ang machete. Hindi ito tumama. Sinipa niya ako sa mukha. Habang nakahiga ako sa sahig, hinawakan niya ang braso kong may machete at marahas itong inagaw. Nakatihaya ako nang walang kalaban-laban. Animo’y ako si Lucifer at siya’y nakatapak sa dibdib ko’y ang anghel na si Miguel.
“Pinatay mo ang isa sa mga pamangkin ko, bro,” sabi ng Sutsot, ginaya ang boses ni Tomas. “Pero ayos lang ‘yan. Ang kapatid kong si Eve at si Berith ay gagawa pa ng marami.”
Pagkatapos ay lumuhod ang Sutsot at idiniin ang kanyang bigat sa aking dibdib. Halos hindi na ako makahinga.
“At ngayong nakatawid na ako ng isla sa wakas, itatayo ko dito sa mundo mo ang aking kaharian.” Ang boses na iyon ay narinig ko lang nang ilang beses sa Isla Miedo—marahil ang tunay na boses ni Berith, hindi iyon boses ng isang ordinaryong tao. “Ang mga anak ko at ako ay madaling magpaparami rito, at marami kaming mapagkukunan ng laman at dugo ng tao..”
Lumingon ako sa paligid. Ang ibang mga sanggol na Sitsit ay patuloy sa paglapa sa mga bangkay nina Marco, Jasmine, at Tomas, ang kanilang maliliit at mapuputing kamay ay nanggigitata sa nangitim na na dugo. Kalong ni Eve ang isa sa mga sanggol na Sutsot na may hawak na bituka ng tao. Buong lambing niya itong iniuugoy habang ito’y parang hayok na hayok na kumakain. Nawala na ba talaga ang katinuan ng isip si Eve?
Inipon ko ang natitirang lakas, ikinuyom ang aking kamao at sinuntok si Berith sa mukha. Tinamaan ko siya sa ilong. Dumugo ito pero bale wala lang sa kanya. Ngumisi lang siya.
Itaas niya ang kanyang kamao, akmang ako’y susuntukin din. Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata, hinihintay ang pagtama ng kamao niya sa aking mukha.
Pero hindi ito dumating. Sa halip, naramdaman ko ang isang mahinang pitik sa aking ilong. Pinipitik niya ako—minamaliit na parang bata.
“Mapalad ka at sugatan ka na at malapit ka na ring mamatay. Kung hindi, iniwan ko na sana ang katawang ito at lumipat sa’yo.” Ang boses niya nanunuya pa rin. “Kay Lucifer na ang impiyerno, pero ang mundong ito ay magiging akin. Gagawin ko ang sarili kong hari ng mundong ito—at si Eve, ang babaeng pinapangarap mo, ang pinakamamahal mong paulit-ulit kong inangkin, ang magiging reyna ko.”
Ginawa ko ang dapat kong gawin. Nagdasal ako muli. Gumalaw ang aking mga labi nang walang tunog.
“Tama na Willy,” wika ni Berith. “Itigil mo ang kahibangan na ‘yan. Sa pagkakataong ito, hindi makakatulong ang mga dasal mo. Nakatsamba ka lang kanina. Sanggot na sutsot lang ang kalaban mo kanina kaya ka nakabalik sa katawan mo. Ang tinatawag mong Ama ay hindi darating para tulungan ka. Takot Siya sa akin.” Ang kanyang kalapastanganan niyang iyon ay sinamahan ng malademonyong tawa.
Pagkatapos ay tumayo si Berith sa ibabaw ko, ang malamig na talim ng macheteng hawak niya’y dahan-dahang idiniin sa aking leeg. Humalik ang bakal sa aking balat.Ang init ay sumiklab kung saan nagbabantang gigilitan ako machete.
“Pipira-pirasuin kita para mas madali kang makain ng mga anak ko,” ang pananakot niya. “Pero ang mga mata mo at ang utak mo ay akin. At dahil lagi mong sinasabing ang puso mo ay para kay Eve… ipakakain ko ito sa kanya.”
Tinawag ni Berith si Eve. “Mahal ko, kakainin mo ba ang puso ng iyong pinakamatapat na tagahanga?”
Tumango si Eve at tumingin sa akin, ang kanyang ngiti ay tila isang patalim… nakakasugat ng damdamin. Tuluyan ng nilamon si Eve ng kabaliwan.
Itinaas na ni Berith ang hawak na machete—dahan-dahan niya itong ginawa, tila isang seremonya—handa na akong tapusin.
Habang hinihintay ko ang pagbagsak ng talim sa aking leeg, ang tingin ko ay napako sa panalanging nakasulat sa ilalim ng mural ni San Miguel Arkanghel. Binasa ko ito nang malakas.
“San Miguel Arkanghel, ipagtanggol mo kami sa labanan… maging sandigan ka nawa namin laban sa kasamaan…”
“Kahit ‘yan ay hindi makakatulong sa’yo. Si Lucifer ang tinalo niya—hindi ako!” sigaw ni Berith, pilit na nilulunod ang aking boses. Pero nagpatuloy ako.
“Buong taimtim kaming nagdarasal na, gaya ng iniutos ng Diyos, itaboy mo ang mga demonyo.”
Pagkatapos—isang kaguluhan ang naganap sa labas ng bahay. May mga nagsisigawan. May mga, marami.
Nagulat siBerith at lumingon sa pinanggalingan ng ingay; nanlaki ang kanyang mga mata. Itinulak ko siya gamit ang huli kong lakas, at napaatras siya’t napaluhod.
Sinubukan niyang tumayo ulit. Hirap siya. Bawat galaw niya ay mabagal at hirap—patunay na ang kanyang mga sugat ay tuluyan na siyang pinanghihina.
“Palibutan ang bahay! Itaas ang mga metal drag nets hangga’t maaari! Punuin ang bakuran ng spotlights!” sigaw ng isang boses mula sa labas.
“Huwag hayaang may makalabas!” sigaw pa ng isa.
Wala na sa akin ang atensyon ni Berith. Lumapit siya kay Eve.
“Adam, anong nangyayari?” tanong ni Eve, lito. Ang mga sanggol na Sutsotay nagkumpulan sa likod ni Berith, naramdaman ang panganib.
Isang nakabibinging atungal ang pinakawalan ni Berith.
Ang mga pinto sa harap at likod ay puwersahang binuksan. Ang mga lalaking nakasuot ng madilim na pulang tunika ay sumugod sa loob, may mga baril at itak sa kamay. Isa sa kanila—isang paring may punit-punit na abito—ay nagtaas ng boses sa gitna ng kaguluhan. Ang iba ay may dalang portable flamethrowers.
“Iwasan ang kanilang tingin!” sigaw ng pari. “Huwag hayaang mahuli ang inyong mga mata! Huwag kayong maniniwala sa mga gagawin nilang panlilinlang.”
Humakbang siya sa harap ng mga Guardians, nagsasaboy ng banal na tubig mula sa isang gasgas na flask at itinataas ang isang krusipiho.
“Liwanag laban sa kadiliman!” Sigaw ng pari. “Sunugin ang mga anino! Linisin ang bahay!”
Muling umatungal si Berith. Napaatras siya, sinasangga ang kanyang mukha mula sa banal na tubig na sumasagitsit sa kanyang balat na parang asido.
Humalinghing siya sa sakit. Ang mga sanggol na demonyo ay nagpulasan sa bawat direksyon, nangingisay tuwing natatalsikan ng mga patak ng banal na tubig.
“Pakiusap huwag niyo siyang saktan… huwag ang mga anak ko!” tili ni Eve, nagpupumiglas sa gitna ng kaguluhan
Si Berith, na halatang mahina na, ay sumugod sa mga Guardians, ang kanyang itak ay humiwa sa balikat ng isang lalaki. Bumagsak ang Guardian habang sumasabog ang dugo sa sahig. Sinubukang itaas muli ni Berith ang kanyang sandata, pero umalingawngaw ang mga putok ng baril—parang kulog sa loob ng bahay.
Sa harap ko mismo, bumagsak ang Sutsot, paluhod. Sa takot na baka tumalon siya mula sa katawan ni Adam patungo sa akin, ipinikit ko nang mariin ang aking mga mata.
“Sige! Pugutin ang ulo—ngayon na!”
Nanatili akong nakapikit. Wala na akong ibang magagawa kundi maghintay.
“Huwag… huwag… huwag… pakiusap. Diyos ko, Adam!!!” Wala nang nagawa si Eve.
Idinilat ko ang aking mga mata. Si Berith, suot ang katawan ni Adam, ay nakaluhod sa harap ko, wala nang ulo. Ang dugo ay tumalsik sa aking mukha. Isa-isa, ang mga talim ng mga Guardians ay tumama sa naputol na ulo—sunod-sunod… hanggang sa nagkapira-piraso ito.
Lumuhod ako at kinuha ang nalaglag na machete sa sahig. Itinarak ko ito nang malakas sa dibdib ng Sutsot. Sa sandaling iyon, hindi ko alam kung ginawa ko ba iyon para sa lahat ng biktima niya, o para lang sa babaeng mahal ko—si Eve.
Isang kakaibang pakiramdam ng tagumpay ang umapaw sa akin, pero naputol ito ng tili ni Eve. Gusto lapitan ang bangkay ng halimaw pero pinipigilan siya ng mga Guardians..
Napabaling ang atensyon ko sa kanya. Napaka-aba ng kanyang hitsura, naghihirap dahil sa kamatayan ni Berith. Pagkatapos ay nawalan siya ng malay at bumagsak sa sahig. Matapos ang lahat ng pangyayari, ganoon pa rin ba ang pagtingin ko kay Eve. Walang nagbago sa pagtingin ko sa kanya.
Gusto ko siyang lapitan para hawakan ang kanyang kamay. Kahit ngayon lang. Pero sa sobrang hina ko ay hindi ko na maigalaw ang aking katawan. Akala ko ay susunod na akong mawawalan ng malay dahil sa dami ng dugong nawala sa akin. Pero pinilit kong manatiling gising. Kailangan kong makitang mamatay ang kahuli-hulihan sa mga sa mga nilalang mula sa impiyerno bago ako mamahinga.
Ang mga sanggol na Sutsot ay tumitili habang sumusugod sa mga Guardians. Ang ilan ay naging usok pero mabilis na natupok ng mga flamethrower. Ang iba’y namatay sa taga, and iba’y sa bala.
Ang mga sigaw ay humalo sa hangin hanggang sa tila yumayanig ang buong paligid. Ilan sa mga sanggol na Sutsot ay lumabas sa bintana.
“May mga Sutsot na nakakalabas! Habulin sila!” sigaw ng isa sa mga Guardians.
Sa labas, umalingawngaw ang mga putok ng baril; sinagot ito ng matinig na hiyaw ng mga sanggol na sutsot. Ang gabi ay lumalim na ng lumalim. Isang hindi maipaliwanag na kasiyahan ang naramdaman ko habang iniisip ko ang mga demonyong natutupok sa apoy sa may isla at ngayon dito mismo sa bahay.
“Siyasatin ang bawat sulok ng bahay. Siguraduhing walang Sitsit na makakalabas dito nang buhay!”
Habang humuhupa ang ingay sa loob at labas ng bahay, naramdaman ko ang lalong paghihina; dumulas ako sa pader, ang mundo ay naging tila usok, ang sakit sa aking binti ay hindi ko na matiis. Napakabigat ng aking katawan, at ang dilim ay nagbabantang tuuyan akong lamunin. Ngunit kahit nararamdaman kong nawawala na ako, isang kakaibang kaligayahan ang bumalot sa akin. Kung dito na matutuludkan ang buhay ko ay masaya akong mamamaalam sa mundo dahil nakita ko ang pagwawakas ng kademonyohan ng mga sutsot. At ang pinakamahalaga ay buhay si Eve.
Sa gitna ng nanlalabo kong paningin, nakita ko ang pari at ang isa pang Guardian na lumalapit sa akin. Lumuhod ang pari at hinawakan ako. Isinuot niya sa aking leeg ang isang kwintas na may krusipiyo. Pagkatapos ay dahan-dahang ipinatong ang kanyang kamay sa aking noo, tila tinitingnan ang aking kondisyon.
“Tumawag ng medic, bilisan niyo!” sigaw niya.
“Ipagdasal niyo ako—at ang mga kaibigan ko, Father,” bulong ko, pilit kong inaabot ang kanyang mga kamay.
At hindi ko na alam kung nahawakan ko ang mga kamay ni Father sa dahilang ang mga talukap ng mata ko’y tila bintanang nagsara. Dumilim.
M.A.D. LIGAYA
M.A.D. L I G A Y A 