My Main YouTube Channel
MAD’s Workshop is my virtual studio. It is where I blog, vlog, and scratch my creative itch. I have diverse interests, including prose and poetry, education, research, language learning, and sports (basketball and boxing). But I consider self-improvement as my primary advocacy.
I blog and vlog about my interests and advocacies. I create content in English and Filipino. I have two other active YouTube channels:
M.A.D. Ligaya (The Road To Self-improvement): https://www.youtube.com/@madligaya-2
Mukhang_Poet: https://www.youtube.com/@madligaya-3
This channel is the repository for all my videos on my social media accounts.
You can check my research works here:
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/...
Please check my websites also:
https://chingligaya.wordpress.com/
You can read some of my stories here:
https://wattpad.com/user/madligaya
You can see the PINS of the poems I have written here:
(LAST OF 4 PARTS)
FILIPINOS’ HAMARTIA
The first three parts of this series of articles identified our serious faults as Filipinos—we sell our votes, we use questionable standards when choosing leaders, we treat elections as if they are popularity contests, allowing immensely popular but inexperienced and incompetent celebrities to win, and we either keep restoring the same traditional politicians from the “recycle bin” or replace them with family members. It is a “hamartia” (or tragic flaw) in our character as a nation.
Our inability to choose the right leaders clearly prevents us from reaching our full socio-political and economic potential as a nation.
We know the government is essential in leading all efforts to make our country progressive. We need the best leaders if we really want to become a “developed nation.” We as citizens are responsible for selecting the best ones to hold the reins of government. Unfortunately, we keep failing to do so.
The funny thing is that after we put them into power—the politicians who won because they had the money to buy votes, celebrities-turned-politicians who are inexperienced and incompetent, “recycled politicians” and the members of their political dynasties—we expect them to perform well. After every election, we expect a better-performing government.
And why would we expect a different government – a more effective one – when we know that we keep electing the same politicians or use the same old rotten standards when choosing new leaders?
Let us revisit Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.”
But assuming that one day we restore our sanity and finally refuse to sell our votes—finally, we learn to elect the most deserving and qualified candidates into office—would the wheels of national development start rolling?
Not quite yet!
There’s one more problem, a problem more serious than our failure to vote wisely and conscientiously. The more serious problem of Filipinos, as mentioned in the first part of this series, is the mindset that the leaders we elect are solely responsible for solving all of our society’s ills and the nation’s problems.
We view our relationship with the state from the vantage point of “self-entitlement.” We think that our leaders must give us “this and that.” We say the government should do “this and that” for us. We expect too much from leaders whom we don’t even choose using the best and most appropriate standards.
Is it the duty of the government to provide each citizen with food, clothes, and shelter?
There goes another problem among us Filipinos. We answer “yes” to the foregoing question, and we seem to have embraced another dangerous tendency—the “ayuda mentality.”
The government’s general functions are to formulate, implement, and enforce the laws of the land, build infrastructure, ensure peace and order, and create economic and other opportunities that help its citizens enjoy the conveniences of life, have the best chance to get a good education, and find or create means of livelihood.
It is also not the duty of the government to provide everybody with a job.
One of the functions of the government is to create an environment that promotes economic growth. They have to ensure that businessmen would be encouraged to invest and initiate business activities, thus creating job opportunities. But jobs are not given on a silver platter. We have to search for job openings, apply, and ensure that we have the required qualifications for the jobs we want. Getting ourselves ready for employment is a personal responsibility. The government will not deliver to our doorsteps the jobs that we want.
The government is also an employer but cannot possibly provide each citizen with a job. It is also impossible for the private sector to employ everybody. That’s just the reality—harsh as it may be. Those who don’t get employed or do not want to work for others because they have better plans for themselves could perhaps succeed as entrepreneurs.
Not everybody would get a college degree. Not everybody is trained and destined to be in a workplace – either in the corporate world or the academe. Some of us will be factory workers, sales clerks, farmers, fishermen, plumbers, drivers, gardeners, or what-have-you. It doesn’t matter what jobs we have, as long as they are decent and they allow us to earn a living honestly.
Don’t reason out that you came from a poor family and your parents could not send you to school to get a good education and have a better chance for a better life.
Unfortunately, this is how we are wired. When we encounter failure, when things don’t turn the way we expect them to, when we are not doing well in the different areas of our personal lives, we are always ready to check our “blame list” to find somebody or something to put the blame on. And our favorite whipping boy – the government. When we are done accusing our leaders for not doing their job well, causing us to become losers, we next vent our ire on our parents, saying that they did not work hard enough to ensure that we live a good life when we become adults.
We need to throw away that “blame list” because, whether we like it or not, we are personally responsible and accountable for our successes and failures. There comes a time in our lives when we should become self-sufficient, when we, not the government nor our parents, decide for ourselves and take complete control of our destiny.
We Filipinos must realize that without recognizing our faults and changing, this country will never become progressive and “developed.” We will never gain the respect of the community of nations if we remain the way we are now.
John F. Kennedy said something we should reflect upon: “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.”
We Filipinos need to realize that there are two requirements for a country to become progressive and developed: good government and responsible citizens. Remove one, and a nation is doomed. The citizens and their leaders need to work harmoniously towards achieving national goals. There’s no other way. Both of them need to work hard. They have to work hand in hand. And in case you did not notice, we as citizens control both requirements – we can decide to become responsible as citizens and also choose in whose hands we should put the reins of government.
“Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding.
Hold this picture tenaciously and never permit it to fade. Your
mind will seek to develop this picture.”
– Norman Vincent Peale
The desire to become the best version of oneself is a powerful driving force for those committed to self-improvement. This desire propels individuals on a quest to reach their full potential, both personally and professionally. If you aspire to improve continuously, you must embrace this journey. Striving for excellence and optimizing your performance in all areas of life should be an ongoing pursuit.
Achieving your best self does not come through shortcuts or magic solutions. The path to self-improvement is challenging, but it is far from impossible. Success in reaching your dreams and goals is attainable, but how can you get there?
Various methods and techniques can help you succeed in your endeavors. In the previous chapter, we discussed the initial steps in achieving your goals: setting clear objectives and creating actionable plans. Experts in Positive Psychology also emphasize the importance of cultivating the right mindset, executing your plans, maintaining work-life balance, adapting to change, finding a mentor, and visualizing success.
This discussion will focus on one particularly powerful technique: visualizing success.
Visualization involves creating vivid and detailed images or scenarios in your mind to help you achieve your dreams and goals (Hook, 2024). Roychowdhury (2023) defines visualization as the “creation of detailed mental images that mimic real-life experiences. It involves engaging multiple senses, such as visual, auditory, and kinesthetic, to create a comprehensive mental representation.”
This mental technique taps into the power of imagination to mentally rehearse success, influencing your mindset and behavior. Visualization is closely related to mental imagery, explicitly focusing on creating or recalling visual images. According to Roychowdhury, the critical components of visualization include imagery control (the ability to manipulate images), imagery vividness (the clarity and detail of the images), and imagery duration (the ability to sustain the images over time).
Visualization is used in sports, therapy, and personal development to rehearse scenarios and achieve desired results. An anonymously written article explains that “visualization goes beyond mere daydreaming; it’s a focused and purposeful exercise that prepares the mind, much like physical practice prepares the body.” The article also reveals that brain studies show the same neural pathways are activated when a weightlifter lifts heavy weights and when they only imagine lifting.
An AI model explains that “visualization is a powerful tool for achieving your dreams. By mentally rehearsing success, you prepare your mind and body to perform at their best, increase your confidence, and stay focused on your goals. When combined with consistent action, visualization can be a key factor in turning your dreams into reality” (OpenAI, 2024).
Skepticism often surrounds visualization, as it may seem implausible that merely imagining success can lead to actual achievement. However, visualization is supported by scientific research, which validates its effectiveness. Hook (2024) identified Neuroscience, Epigenetics, and Psychology as the scientific foundations of this technique. Neuroscientific studies have shown that visualization activates the same brain regions as actual physical performance, affirming the claims mentioned in the earlier article. Additionally, research in epigenetics indicates that positive mental practices, like visualization, can influence gene expressions related to stress, resilience, and overall well-being. In cognitive psychology, techniques like guided imagery and mental rehearsal have been used to treat anxiety and improve self-confidence.
The notion that visualization or mental imagery can enhance an athlete’s focus, reduce anxiety, and improve cognitive performance is not just anecdotal. Scientific studies support these claims. For example, Predoiu et al. (2020) explained that visualization techniques can improve motor skills, increase muscle strength, boost self-confidence, enhance concentration, and reduce anxiety. They also noted that imagery can aid in pain management, endurance, performance motivation, and physical performance in athletes. Markova et al. (2024) found that visualization is also effective in overcoming anxiety and nervous tension, as well as reducing symptoms of depression and stress. Their research showed that adaptive coping strategies are closely linked to self-knowledge, revaluation of values, positive self-attitude, and visualization.
Visualization can also enhance learning and memory. Kosslyn et al. (2001) reviewed various findings on how mental imagery activates neural pathways similar to real perception. They concluded that visualization could be a powerful tool for enhancing memory retention and learning, especially when combined with actual practice. Fishback et al. (2003) examined whether students who visualized themselves performing well on exams were more likely to achieve their academic goals. They found that students who visualized themselves successfully completing specific tasks (e.g., studying for an exam) were likelier to engage in behaviors that led to academic success.
The literature clearly presents the variety of benefits that visualization brings. At the top of the list is enhanced performance. Athletes often turn to visualization to achieve better results in competitions. Practicing this mental technique not only improves competence but also boosts confidence. As mentioned earlier, even cognitive functions benefit from visualization. Both your body and mind perform better when you embrace this method. So, why not give it a try?
The benefits of visualization extend beyond physical and mental improvements. This mental practice can also provide emotional relief, particularly for those suffering from anxiety and depression.
The great things you will gain from visualization are not just physical and mental. You can get emotional relief from this mind practice as well if you are suffering from problems like anxiety and depression.
Moreover, visualization can significantly enhance goal setting. Several studies have explored the connection between these two constructs. For instance, Pham & Taylor (1999) compared the effects of two visualization types—outcome visualization and process visualization—on goal attainment. Outcome visualization involves picturing the successful outcome, while process visualization focuses on the steps required to achieve the goal. Their study revealed that process-oriented visualization was more effective in helping participants achieve their goals. The researchers explained that those who visualized the process were likelier to succeed than those who only visualized the outcome. Scheier & Carver (1985) found that “individuals who engaged in positive visualization were more likely to set challenging goals and persist in achieving them.” Positive visualization enhances self-efficacy and increases the likelihood of achieving challenging goals by fostering a proactive mindset and a belief in one’s ability to succeed.
The process of visualization enhances goal setting and what comes next: planning. This mental activity clarifies your vision, builds your confidence, and heightens your motivation. When setting goals, part of the process involves preparing a plan that outlines the techniques and strategies needed to pursue them. Visualization plays a role in anticipating potential challenges and responses, helping you develop the confidence to face obstacles and stay motivated in your pursuit.
Visualization is also linked to effective planning, as established by several studies. These studies have shown how visualization improves problem-solving, decision-making, and strategic thinking—key aspects of planning. Dela Sala et al. (2010) studied how individuals use mental imagery to simulate future scenarios and plan accordingly. They found that individuals who frequently engage in visualization are better at planning and decision-making because they can mentally simulate different scenarios and outcomes, leading to more informed and strategic choices. Klein (1998) observed that “visualization is crucial in planning, especially under conditions of uncertainty, as it helps individuals mentally test and refine their strategies before implementation.” This finding was based on real-world observations of decision-makers who experienced how visualization aids in developing more effective and adaptive strategies. Sheehan & McConkey (1982) concluded that this mental process enhances the ability to organize and execute complex plans by providing a mental rehearsal space where details can be worked out before action.
The following table shows some of the visualization techniques that are being used.
Predoui et al. (2020) suggested that visualization techniques include the five major senses (touch, hearing, sight, smell, and taste) to achieve the best results.
In conclusion, visualization is a powerful and scientifically supported technique crucial to personal and professional development. By engaging in vivid mental imagery, individuals can enhance their performance, boost their confidence, and achieve their goals more effectively. Visualization is not merely a passive daydream but a purposeful exercise that prepares the mind and body for success. Whether it’s improving athletic performance, managing anxiety, enhancing learning, or strengthening goal-setting and planning, the benefits of visualization are vast and varied.
This mental practice, grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and epigenetics, proves that the mind can be trained to influence real-world outcomes. By incorporating visualization into your daily routine, you can cultivate a mindset of resilience, focus, and determination, ultimately transforming your aspirations into reality. As the evidence shows, those who visualize see their goals more clearly and find the motivation and strategies necessary to reach them. Therefore, embracing visualization is an option and a valuable tool for anyone committed to self-improvement and achieving their fullest potential.
Chapter 9 – “The Reckoning”
“Hello… hello… what’s happening in there?” The voices outside grew louder, the banging on the gate more insistent.
Elena and her mother trembled in fear, clinging to each other as the sound of footsteps approached. My hand shook as I opened the gate, revealing several men, including the head of the village.
“Elena… we heard gunshots, so we came over,” said one of the men, his voice rough with concern.
“Sir,” Elena replied, her voice barely a whisper, “please go into the room.”
I stood rooted to the spot, wishing to disappear, hoping it was all a nightmare. The reality of the scene pierced me deeply.
“Son, what have you done?” His mother embraced Daniel, her voice breaking.
“Daniel, why?” Elena’s voice was a fragile echo.
“Forgive me, Mother… Elena… It’s so hard to accept. It hurts so much,” Daniel sobbed.
One of the men said, “Camille is dead.”
The weight of those words drove me to the bathroom. I locked myself inside, the rain outside mirroring my tears. Sadness and regret consumed me. How did it come to this? What kind of person am I?
What did I feel after everything that happened? Who did I blame? If only I had agreed to leave Sagada with her. Maybe she would still be alive. I chose to stay for Elena and our unborn child, but that choice led to death and tragedy. If I had chosen differently, it could have been avoided?
For me, saying what happened is God’s will is the most foolish thing to do. God has nothing to do with what happened. Deep down, I knew the truth. All these happened because of the wrong decisions we made. It all started that day when both of us did not bring umbrellas. A decision that made us seek refuge in that hut. We decided to give in to the temptation when our lips accidentally touched when I needed to warm your body to save you from hypothermia. We decided to give in a second time to that temptation when again we met in that hut.
Daniel went quietly with the police officers who came over to investigate what happened. They consider it unnecessary to bring your body to the hospital for autopsy. They instead called people from a funeral service to take your corpse to a funeral home.
While all those things are happening, the heavy rain continued to pour, the wind howling, the storm refusing to pass.
By nightfall, the house was empty, except for Elena, her mother, and me. The silence was heavy, punctuated only by the occasional sob. I couldn’t approach Elena. A wall of guilt and shame prevent me from doing so.
Should I confess to Elena and her mother what happened between Camille and me? Should I reveal that I was the father of her unborn child? The weight of my secret pressed down on me. I considered staying silent, letting you take the secret to her grave.
“Mom, we should inform Camille’s parents and siblings in Pangasinan about what happened,” Elena said, her voice breaking the silence.
“Yes, Elena. It would be worse if they found out from someone else. They will take Camille’s body back to Pangasinan once they find out what really happened.”
“Yes, you’re right. I don’t expect them to let Camille be buried here in Sagada.”
“Alright, contact them. I’ll speak to Camille’s parents.”
“Do you have any contact numbers of anybody from Camille’s family?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Wait, one of Camille’s cousins is actually my friend on Facebook. I’ll message them and ask for a contact number.”
Elena grabbed her cellphone from the top of the fridge. “Oh no, my battery is low. Dad, can I borrow your laptop? I’ll use it to log into Facebook.”
I took my laptop from the room and handed it to Elena. Then, I stepped out onto the terrace, wrestling with my thoughts. Should I confess everything? The wrong decisions haunted me. Lives had been ruined because of me. Would Elena and her family forgive me if they knew my role in the tragedy? Will there be forgiveness for me? myself?
Then suddenly, I remembered the picture I took of you sleeping in the hut. Panic surged through me as I realized I hadn’t deleted it. I rushed back to the living room. Elena was not there.
“Mom, where’s Elena?” I asked, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice.
“She went to my room.”
I found Elena sitting on the floor, staring blankly at your picture on my laptop’s desktop. I was cornered with no place to hide.
“Mommy, let me explain,” I began, but Elena’s eyes, filled with shock and tears, cut through me.
I told her everything, from the rain that brought us together in the hut to the plan to leave Sagada. I left nothing out. Her face transformed from shock to anger as she listened, her tears drying up, replaced by a steely resolve.
“Are you done explaining?” she asked, her voice cold.
I nodded.
“Let’s keep this quiet, Jeff. Only the two of us should know about you and Camille.”
For a moment, I felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe she would forgive me.
“I don’t want to add more to the sorrows and disappointments of my mother. She might not be able to take it.”
“Thank you, Mommy,” I said, moving to hug her, but she pushed me away.
“Don’t thank me. I’m not finished. I want you gone by the time Mom and I wake up tomorrow. I’ll come up with a story about your disappearance. Maybe I’ll say you were kidnapped by rebels. Or I’ll say the police took you away because you’re a drug addict. Addict? Yeah, you are.”
“Mommy,” I pleaded.
“Don’t call me that anymore. I don’t want to hear any kind of endearment from a fucking moron like you. You’re a monster. I am wondering how will you be able to sleep at night with what you have done.”
I bowed my head in shame.
“Don’t bow your head. Look at me when I’m talking to you.”
I shook my head, unwilling to meet her gaze.
“I said look at me. Damn it, look at me…” she demanded.
I complied, meeting her fierce, tear-filled eyes.
“Take all your things with you, including the t-shirt you gave to that woman. Sleeping with the fairies is fun, right? Come on, answer her question now. Wasn’t it good? Did you enjoy it? Who f – – ks better… me or Camille?”
“Elena… please…”
I tried to hug her again, but she slapped me, twice. The sting of her hand felt like a physical manifestation of my guilt and shame, piercing my soul.
From now on, everything is over between us. You will never see my child, and I will never introduce you as the father.”
“Mommy… sorry… please forgive me.”
“If your apology could change everything that happened, then I would forgive you. But it can’t, can it? Will you be able to sleep at night? Do you know the extent of what you’ve done? You’re worse than an animal. I wish you had died along with that damn woman.”
I knelt before her, ready to beg, but she turned her back on me and left the room.
“Get out so my mom can rest.”
**********
I left Elena’s house early in the morning, slipping out quietly. At the gate, I turned around, hoping Elena would call me back, but she didn’t. The rain had stopped, but the wind still blew. The streetlights cast long shadows as I walked, carrying all my belongings. When I passed a trash bin, I threw away a bag of old clothes to lighten my load.
There was no vehicle I could take to leave the area, so I decided to walk until I reached the street leading to the mini rice terraces. There was a bit more light, so I took one last look at the terraced fields.
I walked until I saw the hut where it all began. I approached it and went inside. My body and mind were tired, so I decided to rest for a while.
As I was about to lie down, I heard the rain start to fall. I closed the window. As I was about to close the door, I remembered you.
I slowly closed the hut’s door.
I waited, hoping you would push it open to come in and join me once more.
And then the heavy rain poured down.
~ E N D ~
It’s so unfortunate that a few hours after celebrating my birthday, my Mom bade us farewell. It pains me to feel like she died after giving birth to me. The best woman in the world… the woman I love the most… the woman who nurtured and loved me the way no other person could and would… left. She left for good… never to return. But she will forever remain in my heart and mind.
Mom gave me everything she was capable of providing. She gave me all she could except for one thing… my request that she never breathe her last without me by her side. How hard I tried to motivate her to be healthy enough, so I could bring her to South Korea.
How I wished that it was my face she saw last before she closed those eyes that watched over me for countless nights when I was a helpless child. I wanted to say that the last words she heard before she could no longer hear any sound were my “I love you, Mama!”
Whenever I travel down memory lane and revisit the remotest event in my life, I always remember waking from sleep one night with my mom carrying me while she was walking. I could not recall where that was, but I knew I was in my mom’s caring and loving arms. I wish I could wrap my arms around her and hug her when she was at her weakest. I regret I couldn’t do it, for I was hundreds of miles away.
For me, it was a matter of choosing between dying in sadness for losing my beloved Mom or bearing the pain of seeing her in that vegetative state, in obvious pain, and with both hands tied to prevent her from accidentally removing the NG tubes through which we fed her.
I love you, Mama!
 | M.A.D. LIGAYA on WHERE WE STAND |
 | spellzea on WHERE WE STAND |
| M.A.D. LIGAYA on A Note From My Students |
 | nilichoandika on A Note From My Students |
 | Edge of the Fall (Pa… on Edge of the Fall (Part 3) |
M.A.D. LIGAYA
M.A.D. L I G A Y A 