Author Archives: M.A.D. LIGAYA
BUNTIS

Ina’y nabagabag nang anak tumangis.
“Aking anak bakit ka naghihinagpis?”
“Sorry po… batid kong kayo’y magagalit
Ako’y nagkasala… ako po ay buntis.”
“Okay lang yan anak, h’wag mong problemahin.”
“Ganun inay… ‘di n’yo ako sasampalin?
Wala lang po? ‘di n’yo na tatanungin
Kung sino ba ang nakabuntis sa akin.”
Kinurot ng ina ang anak sa singit.
“Aray naman inay… kurot n’yo masakit.”
“Huwag nang uliting pangaraping mabuntis
Kasi Roberto wala ka namang matris.”
Ang Boyfriend Ni Bunso
Isang hapon sa bahay ni pareng Kulas
Mga anak na dalaga’y kinausap.
“Kumusta mga anak?” – kanyang bungad
Tatlong dalaga’y sabay-sabay nag-thumbs up.
Ang tatlong dalaga’y ating kilalanin
Ate sa magkakapatid ay si Lambing
Ang ditse’y Ngiti kung kanilang tawagin
Bunso’t sanse ang palayaw nama’y Hinhin
“Nag-boyfriend na kami.” Wika ng panganay.
“Huwag ka pong magalit sa amin itay
Mga boyfriend namin mahal kaming tunay
Asahang kami’y nasa mabuting kamay.”
Dagdag ni Lambing – “BF ko’y makabayan.”
Tumango ang Kulas… mukhang nasiyahan.
Lalo na nang si Ngiti siya’y bulungan –
“Sweetheart ko po ’tay makapamilya naman.”
“Papa ko po’y maka-Diyos at madasalin!”
Taas noong sabi ng bunsong si Hinhin.
“Good job anak… s’ya ba’y kakilala namin?”
“Opo! Siya’y pari sa simbahan natin.
Valuing Grades

Students are labeled pesky when they pester their students with questions about their scores in quizzes and exercises. They are viewed as annoying when near the end of a semester or shortly after final exams they send emails to their teachers or call them to inquire about their grades.
Teachers say that students are desperate when after seeing their report cards they move heaven and earth to make the former reconsider the grades they have given and possibly give higher marks citing 101 reasons why it must be done. Reasons they give range from queer to valid.
How many times have some teachers violated established rules on test and measurement… rolled the correction tape on the grades they have given because they got moved either by appeals from the students or by pressure from the academic gods and goddesses.
Students are often criticized for being so grade-conscious.
But is it their fault?
NO!
Students are grade-conscious not because they want to but standards of society force them to be. The policies and procedures in the academe frame that kind of mind-set in the consciousness of students. They are seemingly programmed to become grade-conscious.
It all begins at home. Parents keep reminding their children to study hard and get good grades. When the children get to school, the indoctrination goes full steam. Teachers give a battery of tests and exercises telling the students to perform well if they want to pass the subject. And that if they want to be part of the honor roll then they need to have high scores.
Parents tell students to study hard, the teachers tell them to study harder. Day and night students are told that they must get good grades. After school, parents would even acquire the services of a tutor to further improve the academic performance of their children.
That’s how the “getting-good-grades-is-a-must” mentality gets ingrained in the consciousness of the poor little kids.
Companies and corporations deliver the coup de grace by frequently advertising that they hire only the best and brightest. And what’s the tangible measurement of these superlatives (best and brightest)? GRADES… A+, or 1 or 5 or what-have-you.
Society have assigned GRADES as proof of excellence. Academic performance of students is measured through their grades. The higher the grades the more excellent is the student. That’s how it goes. RESULT? The students become grade-conscious. The grades they receive is a microscope and they are the specimen on the slide. Their academic marks are like lenses used to magnify the contents of the shell between their ears.
The parents want them to work hard for their grades. Yes, perhaps for the children’s sake but the grades they receive is an instrument used by the parents in monitoring their investment. They want to make sure that their children are not wasting the money they are spending for their education.
Parents become so mad when their children present to them unsatisfactory academic marks. And of course, when their children perform well academically, they are elated no end. It is a boost to their pride, a feather in their caps.
The schools in any country stretch their students to the limits of academic achievement because when students pass standardized examinations given by their governments it redounds to their benefit. It’s good for ranking and accreditation purposes. It’s a boost to their reputation resulting to more funding from their government and more enrollees flocking to their gates with their parents just more than willing to pay so their children could take a bite at their academic excellence pie.
The parents and the teachers keep telling the kids that good grades is a prerequisite to success, the only way to get a good job. Thus the students think that the purpose of education is purely economic, to prepare them for a job. And if they fail to get good marks their future is doomed. They will not succeed.
This is the way the students are brainwashed into getting the highest marks possible. This is what developed among students a tunnel vision about education, that it’s all about getting good grades in order to be among the best and the brightest to who the big companies and corporations would give a chance to get a high-paying job.
The grades have seemingly become a curse. The grades take joy off learning. They make students prisoners in the classrooms and the teachers the unforgiving and unrelenting prison guards.
The grades put blinders on the students preventing them from seeing the bigger picture, that education is more than getting good grades and that its purpose goes beyond getting a job… that education is a preparation for life.
It’s sad that both the parents and the educators themselves are the ones putting the blinders on the students. They are the ones who put enormous pressure on the students to get good grades.
There’s nothing wrong with inculcating excellence among students. That’s what schools ought to be doing. There’s nothing wrong as well if students are encouraged to get the highest marks possible. But both their teachers and parents must not forget to tell them also that grades are not the be-all and end-all of schooling. The students need to be told that the world doesn’t end if they don’t receive A+ (or 1 or 5).
Schools must not forget that they exist to prepare the students, not only to find a job after graduation, but to live life and be a productive member of society and humanity.
Ang Pasahe
Bandang hapon pauwi na si mang Teban
Galing sa opisinang pinapasukan
Sa isang kanto’y nag-abang ng sasakyan
At isang jeep kaaagad s’yang hinintuan.
Dumukot si mang Teban ng ibabayad
Problema’y wala halos baryang mahagilap
Tig-lilimang daan kasi perang hawak
Apat na piso lang ang baryang nahanap.
Sa salamin ng jeep ang mama’y natingin
Sa mata ng driver meron s’yang napansin.
“Aha!” Wika n’ya, “Ang driver pala’y duling.”
Akala’y lutas na ang kanyang suliranin.
Ang apat na piso’y doble kung titignan
Kasi nga duling ang driver ng sasakyan
Kaya’t walong piso ang kakalabasan
Iyon ang pasaheng dapat n’yang bayaran.
Ang kwatro’y iniabot bago bumaba
Ngunit wika ng driver, “Kulang po mama.”
Ani mang Teban, “Walong piso na ‘yan ah.”
At sagot ng driver – “Kayo po’y dalawa.”
May Tatlong Bampira

May tatlong bampirang magkakabarkada,
Isang gabi’y nagpasyang magkita-kita.
Nang kwentuha’y matapos, nagutom sila
Sa suking restaurant nagpasyang magpunta.
Naunang umorder bampirang mayaman
Wika sa waiter, “Fresh cow’s blood ako’y bigyan,
Puso ng baka’y ihawin, extra-rare lang,
Ako’y gutom na kaya’t iyong bilisan.”
Sumunod naman bampirang ordinaryo –
“Dinuguang baboy nga… meron ba kayo?”
Half-cooked lang! For my drinks? Ah… dugo ng pato!
Tumango ang waiter bilang tugon nito.
Nang dukhang bampira sa waiter tumingin
Wika nito’y, “Hot water lang ang sa akin,
Kasi…heto… may napulot akong napkin,
Kaya’t tsaa na lang ang aking iinumin.
“Pablihasa Lalake”

(Dulang May Isang Yugto)
Synopsis
Sina Alfred, Jojo, Nick at Rudy ay mga gurong nagtuturo sa ibang bansa. Sila ay matuturing na magkakasanggang-dikit…parang magkakapatid ang kanilang turingan.
Upang i-celebrate ang kanyang kaarawan ay naghanda ng maraming pagkain at inumin si Alfred at inimbita ang tatlo. At katulad ng dati ay nagkaroon nanaman sila ng mahabang kwentuhan at balitaktakan.
Madalas na kung ano-ano ang kanilang pinagusuapan… pulitika, trabaho, babae, mga isyu sa Pilipinas, at kung ano-ano pa. Sa gabing iyon ang naging sentro ng kanilang kwetuhan ay ang pinasok ni Alfred na isang relasyon. Naging mainit ang usapan nila tungkol sa sitwasyon ni Alfred. Maanghang ang naging palitan ng kanilang mga opinyon.
Happy Teachers’ Day Po Mam!!!

Kayo po ay muli kong kukwentuhan,
Paksa natin ngayo’y tungkol sa holdapan,
Kwento na nasagap sa isang huntahan,
Nang mga kapwa guro’y naka-umpukan.
Nang kwentong holdap ko’y kanilang nadinig –
Aba’y may isa ng tawa’y bumunghalit.
Isang kwento daw ang samagi sa isip,
Nang magsimula siya kami’y tumahimik.
Isang gabi guro niya sa kolehiyo,
Sumakay daw sa may Taft papuntang Recto,
May mga kawatan… bilang daw ay tatlo,
Sumigaw – “Walang kikilos holdap ito!”
Ibang pasahero syempre’y nataranta,
Ngunit ang guro mukhang naka-relax pa,
Holdapan yata ay nakasanayan na,
Inihanda na relo’t kanyang pitaka.
Madaling-madali ang mga kawatan,
Mabilis na mga gamit ay sinamsam,
At nang ang guro na ang nilalapitan,
Isang holdaper kasama’y pinigilan.
Ang wika niya, “Brod, balato ko na si mam!”
“Magaling kong guro noon sa elem ‘yan,”
Dugtong pa ay, “Hi! Good evening po madam.”
“Ako po ba ay inyong natatandaan?”
Natamemeng guro’y tumango na lang,
Ibang pasahero’y nagulumihanan,
At bago bumaba ang mga kawatan,
Wika ng isa – “Happy teachers’ day po mam!”
