Tuwing Bubuhos Ang Ulan (Audiobook)
I tried to see if I could create an audiobook. I just did. I created an audiobook out of one of my short novels written in Filipino. It’s a tragic love story. It’s not perfect but I gave it my best shot. One thing that I realized when I finished it is that I should have asked a lady friend or two to read the lines delivered by the female characters in my story. I undertook this project just to make good use of my free time here in South Korea. Doing creative work is the best way to overcome boredom.
HOLIER-THAN-THOU
The accounts of a friend about her encounters with certain individuals in her former church remind me of one word – HYPOCRISY.
I once worked in an institution run by a religious congregation and the stories she told me made me recall my own encounters with people wearing the “habit.” Those many years that I spent with them made me realize one thing – church leaders and personalities (in any religion) and those they assign or employ to assist them in running church affairs are as human as churchgoers. It is my humble opinion that none of them is infallible. They commit mistakes. There are times that their judgment is clouded by their biases and prejudices… and God forbid, by their personal interests, whims, and fancies. I just don’t know if they are also as sinful as I am.
It is unfortunate that I don’t have any way of determining the veracity of my friend’s stories. But I know her to be very intelligent and level-headed and would never resort to concocting lies. She was just trying to vent her grievances because she was then on the verge of leaving the church. Eventually, she did. She had enough of their leaders acting and talking in a manner unbecoming of a Christian. She bewailed the failure of their leaders to observe decorum and protocol.
The personalities involved in the things my friend told me conjured up the image of somebody who is holier-than-thou. How convenient it is for some church leaders and workers to hide under the skirts of God’s words to justify what they say and do. Some of them would advance their selfish motives and interests using the gospel as their façade. What I know is that “even the devil can cite the Scripture for his purpose.” The devil, for example, quoted Psalm 91:11-12 when he tried to tempt Jesus.
My friend refuted the idea that leaving that church was a case of her putting faith in people instead of in God. Her getting offended by what she perceived as inappropriate and indecorous behavior of their leaders could (and should) not be construed as losing faith in God. Finding such behavior as unacceptable doesn’t diminish her Christianity. It was, in my opinion, actually applying the Christian norms and standards that she thought those in the church leadership positions ought to adhere to. Apparently, they didn’t.
Leaving that church means turning her back, not to her Creator, but to HYPOCRISY… of church leaders rendering lip service… of not walking their talk. Not that she did not do anything about it. She did. She tried to make her grievances known. But she was a voice crying in the wilderness.
We need to bestow reverence on those anointed by God to serve as the mediator between Him and us. But that doesn’t mean turning a blind eye when those leading us in the churches where we are attending are abusing their authority. While not each of us may have received the gift of discernment described in 1 Corinthians 12:10, all we need is common sense to determine whether or not our church leaders and workers deserve the reverence we give them and whether or not they are worthy of our obedience.
Do not forget St. Paul’s warning, “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God; for many false prophets have gone out into the world (1 John 4:1).”
Face-to-Face and Online English Lounges: A Comparative Analysis
doi: 10.18178/ijiet.2022.12.9.1698
ABSTRACT
Research was conducted to examine how an English lounge program at a university affected students’ speaking ability and their attitude toward their foreign teachers and to determine if there were significant differences in the effects between the program delivered face-to-face and online as perceived by the two groups of respondents – students and teachers. This study is a descriptive-comparative survey research. Frequency analysis, mean comparison analysis, t-test, correlation analysis, and regression analysis were the statistical tools used. The computed mean values show that as perceived by the participants, the program, implemented face-to-face and online; improved the students’ speaking ability and their attitude toward their foreign teachers to a great extent. Results have shown that as perceived by the participants both versions of the program improve the students’ speaking ability and their attitude toward their foreign teachers and that students’ attitude toward foreign teachers is strongly correlated to (and significantly influences) the development of their speaking ability. The findings convey the importance of establishing rapport between students and teachers in the development of the speaking ability of students. It also reveals that online English lounges are as effective as when they’re implemented face-to-face.
Sino Ang Dapat Sisihin?
Kapag nale-late ka pagpasok sa trabaho o sa isa mong appointment, alin ang kadalasang itinuturo mong dahilan – traffic o masamang panahon? Alin man sa dalawa, tama ba? Maaari din naman na ang sinisi mo ay ang alarm clock na wika mo’y hindi tumunog o kaya’y naubusan ng battery ang cell phone mo. Noong ang isa mong relasyon ay humantong sa hiwalayan o nakagalit mo ang isa sa mga kaybigan o mahal mo sa buhay, sino ang sa palagay mo ang may problema – ikaw o ang kabilang partido?
Kapag nagkaroon ka ng problema o nahaharap ka sa isang aberya, kapag ang mga bagay-bagay sa buhay mo eh hindi sumangayon sa iyong kagustuhan, kapag ang mga pangarap mo ay hindi natutupad, sino o ano ang itinuturo mong dahilan? Sino sa palagay mo ang dapat sisihin?
Si Jim Rohn, isa sa mga paborito kong motivational speaker, minsan ay nagkuwento. Isang araw ay tinanong daw siya ng mentor niyang si Earl Shoaff kung bakit noong panahong iyon ay walang nangyayaring maganda sa kanyang buhay. Pakiramdam daw ni Jim Rohn na parang nasukol siya sa tanong na iyon. Sinabi niya kung sino-sino at ano-ano ang mga dahilan kung bakit tila ay, hindi siya umaangat sa buhay – government, weather, traffic, company policies, negative relatives, cynical neighbors, economy, and community.
Ikaw ba? May listahan ka din ba ng kung sino-sino at ano-ano ang dahilang kung bakit hindi natutupad ang mga pangarap mo sa buhay at kung bakit hindi ka umaasenso?
Kanino ba ibinabaling ng karamihan ang sisi kung bakit wala silang mahanap na trabaho? Siyempre ang numero uno sa listahan ay ang gobyero. Itinuturing nilang obligasyon ng mga nahalal na pinuno ang lumikha ng trabaho para sa kanila. Pero imposibleng mabigyan ang bawat mamamayan ng trabaho. Hindi ka rin kusang lalapitan ng trabaho. Hindi regalo ang trabaho. Paghirapan mo dapat ito. Ito ay dapat mong hanapin at kaylangan handa ka kapag dumating ang oportunidad na iyon. Ang kahandaan ay nangangahulugang taglay mo ang karampatang edukasyon at training. Kung hindi ka man pormal na nakapag-aral ay may ibang paraan upang taglayin mo ang kaalaman at kakayahan na hinihingi ng trabahong gusto mo. Sabi nga nila, “Kung gusto ay may paraan, kung ayaw ay maraming dahilan.”
Pero papaano kung hindi ka nakapag-aral o nakapag-training? Sino ang dapat mong sisihin? Sige, i-check mo ang listahan mo ng kung sino-sino at ano-ano ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ka nakapagtapos ng iyong pag-aaral. Malamang kasama sa listahan ang iyong mga magulang. Siyempre pa, kasama nanaman ang gobyerno. Obligasyon din daw ng mga nasa poder ng kapagangyarihan na magbigay ng libreng edukasyon. Tama naman. pero ang tanong – Kaya bang tustusan ng pamahalaan ang libreng edukasyon mula sa elemetarya hanggang kolehiyo para sa lahat? Alam mo ang sagot. Hindi kaya ng gobyerno na pagaralin ng libre lahat ng mamamayan.
At hindi rin kaya ng gobyerno na bigyan lahat ng mga mamamayan ng trabaho. Imposible iyon. Kahit ang pribadong sektor ay hindi rin kayang gawin ang naturan. May limitasyon ang trabahong kayang ibigay ng gobyerno at ng pribadong sector. Iyan ang isa pang katotohan na sa ayaw at sa gusto mo eh dapat mong tanggapin.
Kung ganoon, ano ang dapat mong gawin? Tiyakin mo na ikaw ang makakuha ng trabaho na iaalok ninoman. Dapat ay taglay mo ang kaalaman at mga skills na kaylangan sa larangang napili mo. Dapat maging competitive ka. Dapat ay isa ka sa mga the best sa propesyong iyong napili. At kung sa bansa natin ay walang job opportunities, o hindi ka satisfied sa compensation package, puwede mong subukin ang pangingibang bansa. Lakasan lang ng loob iyan.
Sa mga taong hindi papalaring makahanap ng trabaho o ayaw mamasukan sa dahilang ayaw nilang manilbihan sa isang amo o boss, ay maaaring magtatag sila ng sarili nilang negosyo. Hindi lahat ng tao ay nagsanay o nag-aral upang pumasok sa isang kumpanya. Meron sa ating magaling magnegosyo at sa ganoong paraan sila umaasenso. Meron sa atin ang magiging magsasaka, mangingisda, tubero, tindera sa palengke, barbero, cashier, driver, singer, bartender, at kung ano-ano pa. Meron at merong mahahanap na trabaho o pagkakakitaan ang isang tao sangayon sa kanyang kakayanan at edukasyon. Ano man ang nakayanan mong mahanap na trabaho o maging hanapbuhay ay dapat mong ikarangal at ipagpasalamat. Marami rin kasi sa atin na ang gusto sa buhay ay maging malusog sila at masaya at hindi nila prioridad ang magkaroon ng limpak-limpak na salapi. Nagkakasya sila sa kung ano ang kanilang nakayanan.
Dapat tanggapin ang katotohanan na may mga taong mayaman at mahirap. At huwag nating sisihin ang mga mayaman kung hindi nila tutulungan ang mga mahirap. Huwag nating sisihin ang mga mayaman nating kapatid, kamag-anak, kaybigan o kapitbahay kung hindi ka nila bahaginan ng kung ano mang meron sila. Ang dapat mong gawin ay magsikhay at magsikap upang magkaroon ka ng kung anong meron sila. O dili kaya ay makuntento ka sa kung anong meron ka.
Tayo ang magdedesisyon kung saan tayo mabibilang sa mga susunod. Una – maging mayaman. Pangalawa – magkaroon ng sapat na pera para matutustusan ang mga pangangaylangan sa buhay at kaunting ekstra para sa ilang simpleng luho. Pangatlo – kumain ng 3 beses isang araw. Ikaw, saan mo gustong mabilang – una, pangalawa, o pangatlo? Iyan ay nakasalalay sa uri ng pagsisikap na gagawin mo. Kung tamad ka ay sa pang-apat na kategorya ka masasadlak – GUTOM.
May mga tao na namumuhay ng simple pero masaya. Meron naman na matayog ang pangarap, nagsisikap at nakakarating sila sa gusto nilang marating. Lahat tayo ay may posibilidad na mabilang sa una. Walang makakapigil sa atin kung gusto nating maging mayaman. Pero mahirap itong gawin. Hindi ito madali.
May dalawang daan patungo sa pangarap na maging mayaman (at hindi dito kabilang ang pagnanakaw). Una, tumaya ka sa lotto at ipanalangin mong mapanalunan mo ang jackpot. Pangalawa, tularan mo ang pagsisikap at pagsisikhay na ginawa ng mga taong naging milyonaryo at bilyonaryo.
At kung hindi matupad ang mga pangarap mo, meron ka bang dapat sisihin? Ito kasi ang isang problema sa mga taong nabibigo at humaharap sa mga matinding pagsubok sa buhay – lagi silang naghahanap ng sisisihin. Sisisihin nila ang kanilang mga kamag-anak, magulang, kapatid, asawa, o kaybigan. Sasabihin nilang walang sumusuporta sa kanila. Tandaan nating ang suporta ay kusang ibinibigay. Hindi ito isang karapatan o pribilehiyo. Hindi obligasyon ng kahit pa ng mga mahal mo sa buhay na ikaw ay tulungan. Maliban na lang kung ikaw ay lumpo. Ang tanong – Lumpo ka ba?
Napakadaling sabihin na tungkulin ng mga mahal natin sa buhay na tayo ay tulungan. Pero papaano kung sila man ay nangangaylangan din pala ng tulong. Paano kung sila man ay problema rin ang kung nila itaguyod ang kanilang buhay? At halimbawa man na alam nating may kakayanan sila na tayo ay tulungan ngunit ayaw nilang gawin? Puwede ba natin silang pilitin? Ang sagot ay hindi. Kaya may dalawang bagay tayong dapat isaisip. Una – huwag manisi. Pangalawa – huwag umaasa. At kung umaasa ka na ikaw ay tulungang ng mga mahal mo sa buhay ay may katanungan kang dapat sagutin – Karapat-dapat ka bang tulungan? Hindi kaya may dahilan kung bakit ayaw ka nilang tulungan? At bakit kasi kaylangan mong mamalimos ng tulong? Hindi mo ba kayang tumayo sa sarili mong paa?
At huwag na huwag nating sisisihin ang ating mga magulang kung bakit hindi tayo umaasenso sa buhay. Hindi nating puwedeng sabihin na hindi nila ginawa ang mga bagay na dapat gawin upang tayo ay magtagumpay. Ano mang uri ng magulang tayo meron – responsable o hindi – ay darating ang panahon na hahawakan natin ang timon ng ating sariling buhay. Ang tanging tungkulin ng magulang ay arugain at alagaan ka mula nang isilang ka ng iyong ina hanggang kaya mo ng magsarili at tumayo sa sarili mong mga paa. Ikaw ang magtatakda kung kaylan ka magsasarili at sisimulang itaguyod ang sarili mong buhay.
Hindi habang buhay na nasa poder tayo ng ating mga magulang. At hindi nila kasalanan kung wala silang ipapamana sa ating yaman. Pagdamutan natin kung ano ang kanilang nakayanan na gawin para sa atin. Magpasalamat kung tayo ay kanilang mapapag-aral hanggang kolehiyo. Kung hindi, aba eh gumawa tayo ng paraan. Dumiskarte tayo, siyempre sa marangal na paraan.
Kung 25 anyos ka na ngayon o mas matanda pa, heto ang aking katangungan – Ano ang ginawa mo noong hawak mo na ang timon ng iyong buhay? Noong nasa driver’s seat ka na at kontrolado mo na ang kahihinatnan ng iyong tadhana, ano ang ginawa mo? Nagplano ka ba para sa iyong kinabukasan? Nag-ipon ka ba? Ginawa mo ba ang dapat mong gawin upang tiyakin na matutupad lahat nga pangarap mo? Nagsikhay at nagsikap ka ba?
Ngayon, balikan natin iyon kuwento ni Jim Rohn. Hindi iyon natapos nang binanggit niya kung sino-sino at ano-ano ang mga dahilan kung bakit hindi siya umaangat sa buhay at bakit wala siya kahit singkong duling na naimpok sa bangko. Matapos ang kanyang litanya ay may sinabi si Mr. Shoaff na ang punto ay bakit daw hindi isinama ni Jim Rohn sa listahan ng kung sino-sino at ano-ano ang mga dahilan kung bakit hindi siya umaasenso ang kanyang SARILI.
Ang ibig sabihin ni Mr. Shoaff ay ibang tao at bagay ang itinuturong dahilan ni Jim Rohn kung bakit hindi siya nagtatagumpay. Hindi kaya na ang tunay na dahilan ay SIYA mismo?
Bago daw nagdesisyon si Jim Rohn na magtrabaho sa kumpaya ni Mr. Shoaff, ay binago niya ang listahan ng kung sino-sino at ano-ano ang dapat sisihin kung bakit hindi siya umaasenso. Isa na lamang daw ang isinulat niya – AKO.
Ikaw ba? Meron ka bang kahalintulad na listahan. Sino-sino at ano-ano ang dahilan kung bakit hindi mo nakamit ang mga minimithi mo sa buhay? Kasama ka ba sa listahan mo? At huwag sanang dumating sa punto na pati ang Panginoong Diyos natin ay sinisisi mo sa hindi magandang takbo ng iyong buhay.
Ano man ang kahihinatnan ng buhay natin… aasenso ba tayo o hindi… matutupad ba ang mga pangarap natin o hindi… ay resulta ng mga desisyong ginagawa natin araw-araw. Iyan ay is pang katotohang dapat nating tanggapin.
Ang tadhana mo ay ang kabuuan ng lahat ng desisyong ginawa mo mula noong ikaw na ang kumokontrol sa sarili mong buhay hanggang sa kasalukuyan. Kaya kung nasadlak ka sa kabiguan, wala kang ipon, hindi mo narating ang gusto mong marating, hindi malusog ang iyong pangangatawan at pag-iisip, hindi ka masaya ay sino ang dapat mong sisihin? Manalamin ka at doon mo makikita ang kasagutan.
Pero, wika nga ni George Eliot, “It is never too late to be who you might have been.”
The Role of Teacher-Student Rapport in English Learning
The findings of the study the English Café committee of our university conducted prompted me to revisit the topic “rapport between teachers and students” and reexamine how it affects English learning. The main objectives of the study were: to examine the effects of English lounges on the development of the speaking ability of students and their attitude towards foreign teachers teaching them English; and to determine which of the two modes of delivering conversation lounges is more effective – face-to-face or online. Additionally, the paper also evaluated the significant relationships between the variables of the study, namely, students’ speaking ability, students’ attitude towards foreign teachers, educational qualification of teachers, and teachers’ length of service. The first two variables are student-related factors, the other two are obviously teacher-related.
Results have shown that the said lounges improved both the students’ speaking ability and their attitude toward foreign teachers. And as perceived by both groups of respondents – teachers and students – both in-person and virtual methods of delivering this out-of-class learning activity are effective.
What could be considered surprising were the results for the measurement of the significant relationships between the variables of the study. Educational qualifications of teachers and their length of service were hypothesized to significantly affect both the development of students’ speaking ability and their attitude toward foreign teachers. It is but natural to presume that the more education a teacher gets and the longer they have been teaching the better they become and that translates to better learning on the part of their students. But as it turned out, teachers’ educational qualification is not correlated to the student-related variables aforementioned. Teacher’s length of service, on the other hand, is negatively correlated to the said variables. What came out to be significantly positively correlated to students’ speaking ability is their attitude toward foreign teachers. This means that when students have a positive attitude towards their teachers, the more likely that their speaking ability improves.
After estimating for correlation, a regression analysis was subsequently performed to further evaluate the relationship between those student-related variables. Results have shown that students’ attitude toward foreign teachers has a significant positive influence on their speaking ability.
Undoubtedly, a healthy student-teacher relationship is one of the foundations of effective learning not only in English but also in any subject area. Students are motivated (and very likely) to learn if they view their teachers as approachable, friendly, and caring. This positive connection between students and their teachers is encapsulated in the educational construct called “rapport between students and teachers.” But despite its significance, only a handful of studies were conducted on the topic. Researchers claim that the reason for this is rapport, as an instructional variable, may have tremendous face validity for management education, yet from a research perspective is somewhat “tricky to understand.”1
The Collins dictionary explains that “if two people or groups have rapport, they have a good relationship in which they are able to understand each other’s ideas or feelings very well.” In the educational setting, teachers and students may affect each other either in a positive or a negative way. Teacher-student rapport indicates a positive relationship the absence of which results in a stressful academic environment. “Rapport is a harmonious teacher-student relationship which encompasses enjoyment, connection, respect, and mutual trust.”2 “Establishing friendly relations with pupils enables teachers to enhance students’ willingness to engage in the learning process.3
The positive correlation between the students’ speaking ability and their attitude towards foreign teachers in the study performed by the English Café committee of our university indicates that the more the students demonstrate a positive attitude toward their teachers, the more they improve in their speaking ability. This, as previously mentioned, was supported by the regression analysis where the values reveal that the students’ attitude towards foreign teachers positively influences their speaking ability.
When rapport is present in the classroom, it means that existing is a level of affinity or sincere interpersonal relationship between a teacher and their students.4 Establishing rapport is one of the difficult challenges that English teachers face when teaching in other countries.
Foreign teachers teaching in countries where English is either a second or a foreign language should not be focused solely on delivering their course contents. Like farmers, before sowing the seed, they need to plow the farmland first. Winning the trust and confidence of the students is equivalent to tilling the soil. Teaching content without establishing a positive relationship with the students first is like sowing seeds on untilled soil.
It is possible that students would feel hesitant to engage with their English teachers for a variety of reasons. One of those is students’ level of English. While the advanced students may feel excited to engage with their foreign teacher so they could practice their English, the beginners or lower intermediate students may feel uncomfortable or worried. A teacher’s friendly demeanor could help alleviate such discomfort and worry.
Another possible reason is the fact that their teachers are foreigners. A wall called cultural barrier immediately rises as soon as the foreign teacher enters the classroom. The student, no matter what level of English they are at, would be anxious not knowing what to expect from their foreign teachers. It is therefore a must for the teachers to set the tone right during the first meeting. It is imperative for them to ensure that their students would feel not only comfortable but confident also to interact with them.
It may be true that teacher-student rapport is two-way traffic but the teachers, whether they like it or not, carry the burden of establishing it. “Building a positive relationship is a shared responsibility of the teacher and the students, but the teacher is in a leadership position when leading in-class learning or out-of-class learning, and assumes a greater part of that responsibility. English teachers have a bit more challenge because they are foreigners (to the native student population) and must win the trust and confidence of their students.”5
How teachers perform and treat their students is the primary means of cultivating the students’ positive attitude towards their foreign teachers.”5 What makes establishing rapport with the students more complicated for foreign teachers is the cultural barrier that exists between them and their students. They need to plow the soil a little bit harder than their local counterparts before sowing their seeds. They cannot afford to just focus on delivering their course contents without attempting to break through that cultural barrier at the same time, if not first.
“The attitudes of teachers towards the students are important variables that can affect the attitude of learners as well as the quality and quantity of the learning which takes place and the linguistic outcomes for the learner.”6 In studies where students were asked to identify what they think are the qualities of an effective teacher, competence and their correlates were not the ones that came out on top. One of the said studies had the ability to develop relationships with their students and patient, caring, and kind personality ranking 1st and 2nd, respectively.7 Both had nothing to do with pedagogy but rather the attitude of the teacher.
Competence and its correlates are the ones that teachers develop through their educational qualifications and length of service. And as our English Café committee study found out, the educational qualifications of teachers are not correlated to both the students’ speaking ability and their attitude towards foreign teachers. Note that the negative correlation between teachers’ length of service and the student-related variables that was previously stated is significant. “This inverse relationship implies that the longer the teachers have been teaching the lesser is the possibility of students improving their speaking ability.”5 Further studies may be needed to confirm these findings. But let me just add that in my Ph.D. dissertation where teacher’s length of service and students’ performance in English were among the variables, the said constructs had the same inverse relationship.
One question teachers (of English and other subjects) need to answer at this point is – How much effort are they putting into establishing a good rapport between them and their students?. “A learner who has better interaction with his teacher may develop a positive attitude toward the target language than those who have less interaction.”8
REFERENCES
1. Buskist, W. & Saville, B. (2001). Creating positive emotional contexts for enhancing teaching and learning. APS Observer, 12-13.
2. Wilson, J. H., Ryan, R. G., and Pugh, J. L. (2010). Professor–student rapport scale predicts student outcomes. Teach. Psychol. 37, 246–251. doi: 10.1080/00986283.2010.510976
3. Ibarra, S. (2014). The Effect of Student-Teacher Rapport on Classroom Participation (Master’s Thesis). Cardinal Stritch University, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
4. Jorgenson, J. (1992). Social approaches: Communication, rapport, and the interview: A social perspective. Communication Theory, 2, 148-156.
5. Ligaya, et al. (2021) Comparing the Effects of Face-to-Face and Online English Lounges on Students’ Speaking Ability and Attitude Toward Foreign Teachers. DOI 10.1109/CITC54365.2021.00011
6. F. D. Larsen, M. H. Long, “An Introduction to Second Language Acquisition”, New York: Pearson Education Limited, 1991.
7. https://www.pearsoned.com/top-five-qualities-effective-teachers
8. A.S. Getie, M. Popescu, (2020). Factors affecting the attitudes of students towards learning English. Cogent Education, [Online] 7(1). Available: from https://doi.org/10.1080/2331186X.2020.1738184.
SA PAGBUHOS NG ULAN
(Spoken Poetry in Filipino)
Tuwing bubuhos ang ulan
Kagyat kang papasok sa aking isipan
Kaya paano kita makakalimutan
Hindi ito mangyayari, gustuhin ko man.
Sa dahilang hindi ko kayang pigilin
Ang pagpatak ng ulan
Uulan kung kaylan nakatakdang umulan
Kung puwede lang ipanalangin na sana tag-araw na lang palagi
Para kahit kaylan ay hindi na bumuhos ang ulan
Kung puwede sana na laging may araw
Lalabas ako kahit katanghaliang-tapat
At hayaang sunugin nito
Hindi lamang ang aking balat
Kundi ang bawat hibla ng iyong ala-ala sa aking isipan
Gusto ko itong masunog… maging abo… at hipan ng hangin palayo sa akin
Ang ala-ala mo kasi’y parang tinik na dinuduro ang bawat bahagi ng pagkatao ko
Tuwing makikita ko na may namumuong kaulapan sa langi
Ay kasabay nitong mamumuo rin ang kalungkutan sa aking isip
At kapag ang hangin na ay umihip
At magbabadya nang umulan
Maghahanap na ako ng masisilungan
Sa dahilang kapag bumuhos na ang ulan
Bubuhos na rin ang mga ala-ala ng nagdaan
Kapag bumuhos na ang ulan
Bubuhos nanaman ang mga ala-ala ng nagdaan
Ala-ala ng iyong karupukan
Ala-ala ng gabing yakap ka ng iba doon
sa karimlan
Mga katawan ninyo’y umiindayog sa saliw ng kataksilan
Humihiyaw ka sa tindi ng kasiyahan
Hanggang marating ninyo ang rurok ng kaliluhan
Bakit kasi noo’y akin pang naisipan
Sorpresa kang dalawin sa iyong tahanan
Kapag bumuhos na ang ulan
Bubuhos nanaman ang mga ala-ala ng nagdaan
Ala-ala ng kung papaanong parang gamit ako na iyong pinalitan
Ala-ala ng kung papaanong para akong pusang iniligaw at itinapon kung saan
Kapag bumuhos na ang mga ala-ala ng nagdaan
Babahain ng lungkot ang aking kabuuan
At hindi ito huhumpay
Hanggat hindi ako nalulunod sa lumbay
Kapag bumuhos na ang mga ala-ala ng nagdaan
Wala akong puwedeng silungan
Ala-ala mo’y parang pilat… nakamarka sa aking balat
Ala-ala mo’y parang anino na lagi akong sinusundan
Aninong kahit walang araw aking nababanaag
Ayaw akong pakawalan
Lalo na kapag umuulan
Isipan ko’y parang bubong na may butas
At ang ala-ala mo’y parang tubig-ulan
Pilit nitong hahanapin ang butas na iyon
Para pasukin
Upang sa lungkot at pighati ako’y lunurin.
Wala akong magagawa kundi hintayin
Ang pagtila ng ulan at ipanalangin
Na sa muling pagsikat na araw
Ala-ala mo sa aking isip ay sunugin
Abuhin
At sana’y hipan ng hangin
Palayo sa akin
At ang marubdob kong panalangin
Sana kapag muling bumuhos ang ulan
May lumapit sa akin
Bitbit ay payong
Sa ilalim nito magkasama kaming sisilong
Doon sa bisig niya ako’y magkakanlong
Hanggang ang sugat sa puso ko’y maghilom
The Road To Self-improvement: The Road Not Taken
The road to self-improvement is either not taken or the one less traveled because it is easier, if not intuitive for people, to be complacent. Well, according to scientists, we should blame our brains for this. (And this is where we’re good at – putting the blame on someone or something else.) They (the scientists) say that we are naturally wired to prefer either lying on the couch or sleeping. We are naturally lazy. We hate getting out of our comfort zones. We want things to be given to us on a silver platter…
M.A.D. LIGAYA
M.A.D. L I G A Y A 