Power of Visualization: Achieving Goals and Enhancing Performance
“Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding.
Hold this picture tenaciously and never permit it to fade. Your
mind will seek to develop this picture.”
– Norman Vincent Peale
The desire to become the best version of oneself is a powerful driving force for those committed to self-improvement. This desire propels individuals on a quest to reach their full potential, both personally and professionally. If you aspire to improve continuously, you must embrace this journey. Striving for excellence and optimizing your performance in all areas of life should be an ongoing pursuit.
Achieving your best self does not come through shortcuts or magic solutions. The path to self-improvement is challenging, but it is far from impossible. Success in reaching your dreams and goals is attainable, but how can you get there?
Various methods and techniques can help you succeed in your endeavors. In the previous chapter, we discussed the initial steps in achieving your goals: setting clear objectives and creating actionable plans. Experts in Positive Psychology also emphasize the importance of cultivating the right mindset, executing your plans, maintaining work-life balance, adapting to change, finding a mentor, and visualizing success.
This discussion will focus on one particularly powerful technique: visualizing success.
Visualization involves creating vivid and detailed images or scenarios in your mind to help you achieve your dreams and goals (Hook, 2024). Roychowdhury (2023) defines visualization as the “creation of detailed mental images that mimic real-life experiences. It involves engaging multiple senses, such as visual, auditory, and kinesthetic, to create a comprehensive mental representation.”
This mental technique taps into the power of imagination to mentally rehearse success, influencing your mindset and behavior. Visualization is closely related to mental imagery, explicitly focusing on creating or recalling visual images. According to Roychowdhury, the critical components of visualization include imagery control (the ability to manipulate images), imagery vividness (the clarity and detail of the images), and imagery duration (the ability to sustain the images over time).
Visualization is used in sports, therapy, and personal development to rehearse scenarios and achieve desired results. An anonymously written article explains that “visualization goes beyond mere daydreaming; it’s a focused and purposeful exercise that prepares the mind, much like physical practice prepares the body.” The article also reveals that brain studies show the same neural pathways are activated when a weightlifter lifts heavy weights and when they only imagine lifting.
An AI model explains that “visualization is a powerful tool for achieving your dreams. By mentally rehearsing success, you prepare your mind and body to perform at their best, increase your confidence, and stay focused on your goals. When combined with consistent action, visualization can be a key factor in turning your dreams into reality” (OpenAI, 2024).
Skepticism often surrounds visualization, as it may seem implausible that merely imagining success can lead to actual achievement. However, visualization is supported by scientific research, which validates its effectiveness. Hook (2024) identified Neuroscience, Epigenetics, and Psychology as the scientific foundations of this technique. Neuroscientific studies have shown that visualization activates the same brain regions as actual physical performance, affirming the claims mentioned in the earlier article. Additionally, research in epigenetics indicates that positive mental practices, like visualization, can influence gene expressions related to stress, resilience, and overall well-being. In cognitive psychology, techniques like guided imagery and mental rehearsal have been used to treat anxiety and improve self-confidence.
The notion that visualization or mental imagery can enhance an athlete’s focus, reduce anxiety, and improve cognitive performance is not just anecdotal. Scientific studies support these claims. For example, Predoiu et al. (2020) explained that visualization techniques can improve motor skills, increase muscle strength, boost self-confidence, enhance concentration, and reduce anxiety. They also noted that imagery can aid in pain management, endurance, performance motivation, and physical performance in athletes. Markova et al. (2024) found that visualization is also effective in overcoming anxiety and nervous tension, as well as reducing symptoms of depression and stress. Their research showed that adaptive coping strategies are closely linked to self-knowledge, revaluation of values, positive self-attitude, and visualization.
Visualization can also enhance learning and memory. Kosslyn et al. (2001) reviewed various findings on how mental imagery activates neural pathways similar to real perception. They concluded that visualization could be a powerful tool for enhancing memory retention and learning, especially when combined with actual practice. Fishback et al. (2003) examined whether students who visualized themselves performing well on exams were more likely to achieve their academic goals. They found that students who visualized themselves successfully completing specific tasks (e.g., studying for an exam) were likelier to engage in behaviors that led to academic success.
The literature clearly presents the variety of benefits that visualization brings. At the top of the list is enhanced performance. Athletes often turn to visualization to achieve better results in competitions. Practicing this mental technique not only improves competence but also boosts confidence. As mentioned earlier, even cognitive functions benefit from visualization. Both your body and mind perform better when you embrace this method. So, why not give it a try?
The benefits of visualization extend beyond physical and mental improvements. This mental practice can also provide emotional relief, particularly for those suffering from anxiety and depression.
The great things you will gain from visualization are not just physical and mental. You can get emotional relief from this mind practice as well if you are suffering from problems like anxiety and depression.
Moreover, visualization can significantly enhance goal setting. Several studies have explored the connection between these two constructs. For instance, Pham & Taylor (1999) compared the effects of two visualization types—outcome visualization and process visualization—on goal attainment. Outcome visualization involves picturing the successful outcome, while process visualization focuses on the steps required to achieve the goal. Their study revealed that process-oriented visualization was more effective in helping participants achieve their goals. The researchers explained that those who visualized the process were likelier to succeed than those who only visualized the outcome. Scheier & Carver (1985) found that “individuals who engaged in positive visualization were more likely to set challenging goals and persist in achieving them.” Positive visualization enhances self-efficacy and increases the likelihood of achieving challenging goals by fostering a proactive mindset and a belief in one’s ability to succeed.
The process of visualization enhances goal setting and what comes next: planning. This mental activity clarifies your vision, builds your confidence, and heightens your motivation. When setting goals, part of the process involves preparing a plan that outlines the techniques and strategies needed to pursue them. Visualization plays a role in anticipating potential challenges and responses, helping you develop the confidence to face obstacles and stay motivated in your pursuit.
Visualization is also linked to effective planning, as established by several studies. These studies have shown how visualization improves problem-solving, decision-making, and strategic thinking—key aspects of planning. Dela Sala et al. (2010) studied how individuals use mental imagery to simulate future scenarios and plan accordingly. They found that individuals who frequently engage in visualization are better at planning and decision-making because they can mentally simulate different scenarios and outcomes, leading to more informed and strategic choices. Klein (1998) observed that “visualization is crucial in planning, especially under conditions of uncertainty, as it helps individuals mentally test and refine their strategies before implementation.” This finding was based on real-world observations of decision-makers who experienced how visualization aids in developing more effective and adaptive strategies. Sheehan & McConkey (1982) concluded that this mental process enhances the ability to organize and execute complex plans by providing a mental rehearsal space where details can be worked out before action.
The following table shows some of the visualization techniques that are being used.
Predoui et al. (2020) suggested that visualization techniques include the five major senses (touch, hearing, sight, smell, and taste) to achieve the best results.
In conclusion, visualization is a powerful and scientifically supported technique crucial to personal and professional development. By engaging in vivid mental imagery, individuals can enhance their performance, boost their confidence, and achieve their goals more effectively. Visualization is not merely a passive daydream but a purposeful exercise that prepares the mind and body for success. Whether it’s improving athletic performance, managing anxiety, enhancing learning, or strengthening goal-setting and planning, the benefits of visualization are vast and varied.
This mental practice, grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and epigenetics, proves that the mind can be trained to influence real-world outcomes. By incorporating visualization into your daily routine, you can cultivate a mindset of resilience, focus, and determination, ultimately transforming your aspirations into reality. As the evidence shows, those who visualize see their goals more clearly and find the motivation and strategies necessary to reach them. Therefore, embracing visualization is an option and a valuable tool for anyone committed to self-improvement and achieving their fullest potential.
The Crucial Connection Between Goal Setting and Planning
“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of plan, in which we
must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously
act. There is no other route to success.”
– Pablo Picasso
In discussions of the term “goal,” it is difficult not to mention “plan” alongside it. These two constructs are seemingly conjoined like Siamese twins. Even in their definitions, goals and plans are intertwined: a goal is defined as the end toward which an effort is directed, while a plan is a method for achieving that end. When goals and plans are perfectly aligned, they create a synergy that leads to success. Thus, goal-setting and planning are critical for personal growth and development. Those who embrace self-improvement must prioritize these two essential practices.
Locke and Latham (2002) describe a goal as an idea of the future or desired result that a person or a group of people envisions, plans for, and commits to achieving. Goals are the object or aim of an action, such as attaining a specific standard of proficiency, typically within a specified time frame. In contrast, a plan is defined as “a set of actions that have been thought of as a way to do or achieve something” (Britannica, n.d.). Both goals and plans often come with deadlines, underscoring their interconnectedness.
Goal setting is the process of defining goals, and planning identifies the actions necessary to achieve those goals effectively. In reality, goal-setting and planning are inseparable. Setting goals without corresponding plans or making plans without anchoring them to specific goals is futile. Goals without a plan are like knowing where you want to go without knowing how to get there while planning without an identified goal is like setting out on a journey without a specific destination. Goal setting is the first step in the planning process; once you have established your desired goals, you can create a plan to achieve them. Planning, in turn, creates a roadmap that guides you toward achieving your goals.
To further illustrate the relationship between goal-setting and planning, we can examine the goal-plan paradigm developed by Simon Sinek, known as the Golden Circle Model. This model effectively represents the connections between these constructs and highlights their significance. The Golden Circle consists of three layers: “Why” at the core, “How” in the middle layer, and “What” at the outermost part. This paradigm emphasizes the importance of identifying the underlying purpose (“Why”) before establishing the process (“How”) and the outcome (“What”).
In this model, the “Why” represents the goal—the purpose or desired outcome that forms the basis for all actions. The “How” corresponds to the plan and the organized efforts necessary to reach the goal. Finally, the “What” represents the specific outcomes or results from carefully executing the goals and plans. Although the terms “Why” and “What” might seem interchangeable, Sinek clarifies that the “Why” refers to the underlying purpose or reason for wanting to achieve an outcome. In contrast, the “What” refers to the tangible results.
Sinek strongly argues that understanding the “Why” is crucial, particularly at the organizational level. Most organizations and leaders know what they do and how they do it, but they often struggle to articulate why they do it. The “Why” is vital because it inspires and motivates leaders and followers. This insight also applies to individuals: the “Why,” or the goal, is the source of passion and commitment, providing a definite direction for organizations and individuals.
To illustrate his assertions, Sinek’s example was Apple’s Why, How, and What.
This example demonstrates that an organization’s “What”—the products or services it offers—is not the goal itself but rather the outcome of an apparent “Why.”
Setting goals and making plans are crucial to achieving success in both personal and professional realms. As Berkman (2018) explained, “Setting goals is easy; achieving them is hard.” While achieving goals may be challenging, it is not impossible. Effective planning makes goal achievement possible.
You have probably heard about SMART goals already. Goal setting involves defining specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound objectives that individuals or organizations want to achieve. This is the golden rule of goal-setting.
When goals are specific, it means they are clear. They answer the questions of who, what, where, when, and why. Making the goals measurable means their progress can be tracked. Several other clear indicators are involved. Achievable goals are realistic and attainable given your current situation, resources, and time, while relevant goals are worthwhile or worth pursuing. Their purpose is clear. Time-bound means a specific deadline or timeframe for achieving the goal.
Chowdhury (2019) mentioned that researchers have made the “SMART” rule “SMARTER.” The letters E and R are appended to SMART, with the E standing for evaluative or ethical and R rewarding. He explained that interventions and executing ethical goals follow professional and personal ethics. Rewarding means that the results or goal setting brings the user a positive reward and a feeling of accomplishment.
By using the SMART/SMARTER framework, individuals and organizations can rest assured that their goals are well-defined, making it easier to plan, execute, and achieve them successfully.
After setting goals comes planning. As Antoine de Saint-Exupery says, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Without a plan, even the best goals will not come to fruition.
The activities required to achieve desired goals must be identified and organized. The planning process involves drawing a specific course of action that identifies what needs to be done, when, how, and by whom.
A good plan provides a clear roadmap. It helps simplify complex tasks and make them more manageable. It also promotes efficient use of the M resources—manpower, machinery, materials, and money. Planning enables you to foresee what resources are needed and when. It ensures that your decisions are aligned with the goals, reducing the likelihood of making decisions impulsively.
The best part of indulging in planning is that it helps you achieve work-life balance. It allows you to pursue your professional and personal endeavors without sacrificing one over the other.
The interplay between goal setting and planning is fundamental in pursuing success in both personal and professional Endeavors. Goals provide the direction, the “Why,” while plans provide the roadmap, the “How.” The synergy they create ensures that the “What”—the tangible outcomes—is achieved efficiently and effectively. When goal-setting and planning are done correctly, they transform dreams into reality and make success not just possible but inevitable.
Achieving Work-Life Balance: Strategies For Success
“You will never feel truly satisfied by work
until you are satisfied by life.”
– Heather Schuck
In this discourse, “work” refers to the professional responsibilities we either choose to embrace or are assigned, while “life” encompasses our personal existence, including inherent responsibilities and commitments we make. Achieving work-life balance is about finding equilibrium between our professional and personal endeavors, ensuring that neither is neglected at the expense of the other.
For many of us, our work or profession is a significant source of happiness and fulfillment. We derive satisfaction from applying the knowledge we’ve acquired and the skills we’ve honed through education and self-study. This sense of accomplishment, however, should not overshadow the importance of maintaining a balanced life.
Malik (2023) defines work-life balance as “the stability between the time, energy, and attention individuals allocate to their professional commitments and personal lives, including their family, social activities, hobbies, and personal well-being. It emphasizes the need to achieve a harmonious and satisfying integration of both work and personal aspects of life.”
Striking a balance between professional obligations and social responsibilities is easier said than done. It is far from a simple task, as giving equal attention to both areas of life can be challenging. Work demands can sometimes be overwhelming, leaving little time for self-care and nurturing relationships. Conversely, some individuals may prioritize personal and family matters at the expense of their workplace productivity, leading to a lack of fulfillment in their professional lives.
Achieving work-life balance is an essential skill for personal development. While it may be difficult, maintaining equilibrium between work and personal life is crucial for creating an environment conducive to growth and well-being.
When individuals learn to balance their professional and personal lives, they experience significant benefits. They can engage in self-improvement activities, such as furthering their education, learning new skills, and pursuing fulfilling hobbies. This balance also leads to better health, as reduced stress allows for engagement in activities that promote physical and mental well-being.
Moreover, a well-balanced work-life enhances productivity, creativity, and problem-solving abilities. A clear focus and improved concentration naturally follow when one’s life is in harmony.
Perhaps the most valuable outcome of achieving work-life balance is improving personal relationships. Spending more time with loved ones and friends strengthens these bonds, fulfilling our intrinsic need for social interaction. As social beings, meaningful connections are vital to our happiness and well-being.
The significance of balancing work obligations and personal life makes some consider achieving it not a matter of choice but a mandatory requirement in the pursuit of success.
The importance of balancing work obligations with personal life has led many to view achieving this equilibrium not as a choice but as a mandatory requirement for success.
Work-life balance is pursued at both the organizational and individual levels. However, maintaining this balance between the demands of a job or profession and personal obligations is largely a personal responsibility. In the workplace, managers aim to eliminate factors that could reduce organizational productivity. Whiting (2024) defines work-life balance as “the amount of time you spend working compared to the time you spend pursuing activities outside of work, measured in hours, enjoyment, or mental energy.” She adds, “Your work-life balance depends not only on the time you spend physically at work but also on the energy, focus, and attention that work demands even when you’re not in the office.”
Organizations clearly benefit when they implement programs that promote work-life balance. Whiting (2024), citing studies she reviewed, notes that employees who experience a balanced approach to work and personal concerns are more engaged. This heightened engagement improves the working conditions and profitability of the organization. She also emphasizes that work-life balance within organizations results in more engaged employees and helps prevent potential burnout, which can lead to poor health, decreased performance, and a toxic work culture.
The absence of work-life balance in the workplace can result in burnout and neglect of physical health, which may lead to severe health conditions. When employees lack time to recharge, they return to work less focused and less motivated, which reduces their productivity and creativity. Their decision-making skills are also compromised, leading to suboptimal choices and outcomes.
It is evident that work-life balance significantly influences employee performance. Naithani (2010) found that employees with poor work-life balance suffer from reduced productivity and lower job performance. In contrast, Roberts (2008) emphasized that employees with a healthy work-life balance show improved job performance. The findings of a study conducted by Susanto et al. (2022) confirmed the positive relationship between work-life balance and job performance, concluding that as an employee’s work-life balance improves, so does their job performance.
Employees are fortunate if they work in organizations where leaders recognize the importance of promoting work-life balance. However, in some cases, managers may not prioritize formulating policies that create a work environment where employees can fulfill their personal commitments without sacrificing their organizational duties. In such situations, it becomes the employees’ responsibility to find a way to strike a balance between their work and personal lives. Ultimately, work-life balance can and should be achieved at the individual level.
There are telltale signs of poor work-life balance or its complete absence. The most common indicators include burnout and difficulty sleeping. Those who fail to balance their professional and personal lives often feel like they are always working, unable to relax. This constant stress can lead to strained relationships with family and friends. If you experience these symptoms, it’s crucial to reassess your work-life balance.
The steps to achieve work-life balance are practical and straightforward, but the challenge lies in the willingness and determination to implement them. Experts suggest that the pursuit of work-life balance begins with setting clear priorities. It is essential to identify your top priorities in both your personal and professional life, which will allow you to allocate your time and energy appropriately. Drawing clear boundaries between work and personal life is vital.
Work hours should not encroach upon the time allocated for family, hobbies, and relaxation. For those committed to maintaining this boundary, disconnecting from the internet and keeping gadgets out of reach after work is vital. Emails and calls should be restricted to work hours, ensuring that personal time remains sacred.
Another critical component is spending quality time with family. It’s not about the quantity of time but the quality of the interactions. Disconnecting from technology and being fully present is the first step toward giving your loved ones the attention they deserve. Taking a break from social media when spending time with the family is also essential.
Equally important is allocating time for yourself. Your overall well-being should be a priority because success in your professional endeavors is meaningless if it comes at the cost of your health. It is possible to be both wealthy and healthy. Taking care of yourself involves regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, and ensuring sufficient sleep. Additionally, pursuing hobbies and engaging in activities you enjoy and contribute to your personal growth will further enhance your well-being.
Achieving a work-life balance is a desirable and essential component of a fulfilling life. The equilibrium between professional and personal commitments is crucial for maintaining physical and mental well-being. When this balance is neglected, the consequences can be severe, affecting not only individual health and relationships but also organizational productivity and culture.
Both organizations and individuals have roles to play in fostering work-life balance. While companies can implement supportive policies and create environments promoting well-being, it ultimately falls on each person to take responsibility for their balance. By setting clear priorities, drawing firm boundaries, and dedicating time to loved ones and personal care, individuals can navigate the challenges of modern life without sacrificing their health or happiness.
In essence, work-life balance is the foundation of a successful and meaningful life. It allows us to thrive in our careers while nurturing our personal relationships and well-being, leading to a more satisfying and well-rounded existence. Striving for this balance may be challenging, but the rewards are profound and far-reaching.
Pagpupugay Sa Aking Mahal Na Ama’t Ina
(Tribute to My Beloved Father and Mother)
Kagaya ng ating pag-alaala sa Araw ng mga Santo at Araw ng mga Yumao, hindi ko pahihintulutang lumipas ang mga sandaling ito nang hindi nag-aalay ng parangal sa dalawa sa pinakatanging nilalang sa aking buhay—ang aking mga mahal na magulang.
Kung ano ako ngayon, kung ano man ang narating ko, ay ipinagpapasalamat ko ng malaki, una sa Maykapal, pangalawa sa aking mga magulang – sa aking ama at ina.
Walang sinomang makakahigit sa mga sakripisyong ginawa para sa akin ng aking mga magulang – lalong-lalo na ng aking ina na ang sinanapuna’y pinaglagakan ng mga semilyang binuklod ng Panginoon upang pagsimulan ng buhay kong pahiram Niya sa akin.
Sino ba ang pwedeng makahigit sa ginawa ng aking ina na siyam na buwang hinayaang ako’y maging bahagi ng kanyang katawan? Ang sinapupunan niya’y ang unang mundong aking ginalawan. At nang dumating ang panahon na kaylangan ko nang lumabas patungo sa isang bagong mundo ay ibinuwis niya ang kanyang buhay.
At sino rin ang pwede makahigit sa ginawa ng aking ama na nagbanat ng buto upang tiyakin na kaming mga mahal niya sa buhay ay may bubong na masisilungan at sa hapag-kainan ay may makakain?
Tiniis ng aking ina ang sakit upang ako’y mailuwal. Sinuong ni ama ang ulan at init upang ibigay ang aming mga pangangaylangan. Napakalaki ng ginawa nilang sakripisyo, magkatuwang ang aking ina at ama, sa pagpapalaki at pag-aruga sa akin at aking mga kapatid. Hindi ko pwedeng kalimutan iyon. At iyo’y hindi pagtanaw ng utang na loob. Iyon ay bunga ng itinanim nilang pagmamahal. Hindi ba’t nakatakda nating anihin ang alin mang ating itanim, mabuti man o masama.
Kaya nga nakakatawa nang sabihin ng isa kong tiyahin na ako raw ay maka-ina. Aba’y dapat lang. Ganoon naman ang natural na nagiging takbo ng mga relasyon sa pamilya. Madalas na ang mga anak ay nagiging maka-ina sa dahilang mas madalas nakikita ng mga anak ang kanilang ina sa bahay.
Subalit alam ko ang dahilan kung bakit madalas hindi namin kapiling ang ama sa bahay. Siya’y kaylangang maghanap-buhay upang kami’y suportahan. Maka-ina ako pero pantay ang pagmamahal ko sa aking mga magulang. Wala akong itutulak at kakabigin.
Nagtanim ang aking ina – ganoon din ang aking ama – ng pagmamahal na tumubo sa aking puso’t isip. Hindi ba matatawag na pagtatanim ng pagmamahal ang ginawa nilang pag-aalaga sa akin mula ako’y isang sanggol na walang kamalay-malay hanggang sa punto ng buhay ko na kinaya ko nang tumayo sa aking sariling mga paa. Inaani nila ngayon ang bunga ng pagmamahal na iyon at hindi nila ito kaylangang sungkitin, kusa itong lumalaglag patungo sa kanila.
Isang milyong beses mang magkamali ang aking ina ay hindi ko siya pwedeng talikuran. Katulad ng hindi ko pagtalikod sa aking ama noong siya’y nabubuhay pa kahit ako’y buhay na saksi sa mga pagkukulang niya. Tama o mali man ang aking mga magulang eh sila ang kakampihan ko. Simple lang ang dahilan – mahal ko sila. Hindi pwedeng burahin ng anomang depekto sa pagkatao ng aking ina at ama ang pagmamahal ko sa kanila.
Ang dalawang pinakamahahalagang aral sa buhay na natutuhan ko ay hindi galing sa mga guro ko sa eskwelahan. Ang mga aral na naturan na nagsilbi kong gabay upang mamuhay ng tama ay galing sa aking mga magulang.
Ang una – ang itinuro sa akin ng aking ama’y huwag akong umasa sa ibang tao. Dapat daw ay matuto akong tumayo sa aking sariling mga paa. Unang narinig ko sa aking ama ang mga konsepto na “magtiwala sa sarili” at “magbanat ka ng buto.” Simpleng tao lamang ang aking ama at pilit akong nagsikap at nagsusumikap pa dahil batid kong ang buhay na meron ako’t ang daang tinatahak ko ay ang katuparan ng kanyang pangarap.
Pangalawa’t huli – tinuruan ako ng aking ina na magdasal at magkaroon ng matibay na pananampalataya sa Panginoon. Ang pananampalatayang iminulat niya sa akin ay panghahawakan ko upang huwag akong maligaw ng landas. Hindi man perpekto ang buhay na tinahak ng aking ina at ama ay tiniyak nilang maituro sa akin ang daan patungo sa aking tagumpay at kaligtasan.
Ang isang bagay naman na natutuhan ko pareho sa kanila ay ang kultura ng pagbabasa. Sobrang hilig ng ama kong magbasa – 2 diyaryo sa isang araw. Hindi man siya nakatungtong ng high school eh “Inglisero” ang ama ko. Ang nakakatuwa, kapag siya’y nalalasing, hindi siya nagsasalita ng Tagalog, puro English. Dumudugo noon ang ilong ko sa pakikinig sa kanya, lalo na kapag pinipilit niya akong sumagot sa mga sinasabi niya sa English.
Ang ina ko nama’y magasin at komiks. Madalas ko din siyang nakikitang nagbabasa ng libro dahil nagpatuloy siyang mag-aral sa kolehiyo noong kaming magkakapatid ay malalaki na’t hindi na alagain. At tuwing hapon noon, matapos kaming magdasal ng rosaryo, kasama ang aking lola, ay nsgsilbi naming tutor ang aking ina.
Salamat po ama… ina sa lahat-lahat. Diyan sa langit ay baunin ninyo ang pasasalamat at pagmamahal naming magkakapatid at mga apo ninyo.
Dakila kayong mga magulang. Lubos-lubos ang pasasalamat ko sa Panginoon na kayo ang mga itinalaga niya na naging ama’t ina ko.
—–
We have just observed All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day, and I cannot let these occasions pass without paying tribute to two of the most special people in my life—my beloved parents.
Who I am today and whatever I have achieved, I owe to two great blessings in my life—first, the Almighty, and second, my parents, my father and mother.
No one could ever surpass the sacrifices my parents made for me, especially my mother, in whose womb the life that God entrusted to me first began.
Who could ever surpass what my mother did for me? For nine months, she let me become part of her body. Her womb was the first world I ever knew. And when the time came for me to leave that world and enter another, she risked her life to bring me into it.
And who could surpass what my father did? He worked tirelessly to ensure that those he loved had a roof over their heads and food on their table.
My mother endured the pain of childbirth. My father braved the rain and the scorching heat to provide for our needs. Together, they made countless sacrifices to raise, care for, and nurture me and my siblings.
I can never forget those sacrifices. And my gratitude is not merely a matter of repaying a debt of obligation. It is the natural fruit of the love they planted in our hearts.
After all, do we not reap what we sow, whether good or bad?
That is why I find it amusing whenever one of my aunts says that I am a mama’s boy.
Of course I am! And proud of it.
That is often how family relationships develop. Children tend to grow closer to their mothers because they usually spend more time with them at home.
But I also understand why our father was away so often. He had to work to support our family.
I may be a mama’s boy, but my love for my parents is equal. I would never favor one at the expense of the other.
My mother planted love in me—and so did my father. That love took root and grew in my heart and mind.
Was it not an act of sowing love when they cared for me, from the time I was a helpless infant until I was finally able to stand on my own two feet?
They are now reaping the fruits of that love. And they need not reach up to pluck them, for the fruits fall naturally into their hands.
Even if my mother made a million mistakes, I could never turn my back on her. Neither did I turn my back on my father when he was alive, even though I had witnessed some of his shortcomings.
Whether they were right or wrong, my love and loyalty to my parents would remain. The reason is simple—I love them.
No imperfection in their character could ever erase that love.
The two most important lessons I have learned in life did not come from my school teachers. They came from my parents, whose teachings became my guide to a meaningful, principled life.
First, my father taught me the importance of self-reliance. He told me never to depend entirely on others and that I must learn to stand on my own two feet.
From him, I first heard the expressions “believe in yourself” and “work hard.”
My father was a simple man. AndI worked hard then, and I continue to work hard today, because I know that the life I have built and the path I continue to follow represent, in many ways, the fulfillment of his dreams.
Second, my mother taught me to pray and to have unwavering faith in God. The faith she instilled in me continues to guide me and keep me from losing my way.
My parents may not have lived perfect lives, but they made certain that I knew the path toward success and salvation.
There was also one important habit I learned from both of them—the love of reading.
My father was an avid reader. He read two newspapers every day! Although he never attended high school, he spoke English remarkably well.
What amused me most was that whenever he had too much to drink, he seemed to forget how to speak Tagalog. Suddenly, everything he said was in English!
Listening to him gave me a proverbial nosebleed, especially when he insisted that I answer him in English. ^^
My mother, on the other hand, loved reading magazines and comic books. I also frequently saw her reading textbooks, particularly when she resumed her college education after my siblings and I had grown older and no longer required as much attention.
And every afternoon, after praying the rosary with our grandmother, our mother would become our tutor.
Thank you, Father. Thank you, Mother. Thank you for everything.
There in heaven, may you continue to feel the gratitude and love of your children and grandchildren.
You were extraordinary parents.
And I will forever be grateful to the Almighty for choosing you to be my father and mother.
When The Rain Falls (9)
Chapter 9 – “The Reckoning”
“Hello… hello… what’s happening in there?” The voices outside grew louder, the banging on the gate more insistent.
Elena and her mother trembled in fear, clinging to each other as the sound of footsteps approached. My hand shook as I opened the gate, revealing several men, including the head of the village.
“Elena… we heard gunshots, so we came over,” said one of the men, his voice rough with concern.
“Sir,” Elena replied, her voice barely a whisper, “please go into the room.”
I stood rooted to the spot, wishing to disappear, hoping it was all a nightmare. The reality of the scene pierced me deeply.
“Son, what have you done?” His mother embraced Daniel, her voice breaking.
“Daniel, why?” Elena’s voice was a fragile echo.
“Forgive me, Mother… Elena… It’s so hard to accept. It hurts so much,” Daniel sobbed.
One of the men said, “Camille is dead.”
The weight of those words drove me to the bathroom. I locked myself inside, the rain outside mirroring my tears. Sadness and regret consumed me. How did it come to this? What kind of person am I?
What did I feel after everything that happened? Who did I blame? If only I had agreed to leave Sagada with her. Maybe she would still be alive. I chose to stay for Elena and our unborn child, but that choice led to death and tragedy. If I had chosen differently, it could have been avoided?
For me, saying what happened is God’s will is the most foolish thing to do. God has nothing to do with what happened. Deep down, I knew the truth. All these happened because of the wrong decisions we made. It all started that day when both of us did not bring umbrellas. A decision that made us seek refuge in that hut. We decided to give in to the temptation when our lips accidentally touched when I needed to warm your body to save you from hypothermia. We decided to give in a second time to that temptation when again we met in that hut.
Daniel went quietly with the police officers who came over to investigate what happened. They consider it unnecessary to bring your body to the hospital for autopsy. They instead called people from a funeral service to take your corpse to a funeral home.
While all those things are happening, the heavy rain continued to pour, the wind howling, the storm refusing to pass.
By nightfall, the house was empty, except for Elena, her mother, and me. The silence was heavy, punctuated only by the occasional sob. I couldn’t approach Elena. A wall of guilt and shame prevent me from doing so.
Should I confess to Elena and her mother what happened between Camille and me? Should I reveal that I was the father of her unborn child? The weight of my secret pressed down on me. I considered staying silent, letting you take the secret to her grave.
“Mom, we should inform Camille’s parents and siblings in Pangasinan about what happened,” Elena said, her voice breaking the silence.
“Yes, Elena. It would be worse if they found out from someone else. They will take Camille’s body back to Pangasinan once they find out what really happened.”
“Yes, you’re right. I don’t expect them to let Camille be buried here in Sagada.”
“Alright, contact them. I’ll speak to Camille’s parents.”
“Do you have any contact numbers of anybody from Camille’s family?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Wait, one of Camille’s cousins is actually my friend on Facebook. I’ll message them and ask for a contact number.”
Elena grabbed her cellphone from the top of the fridge. “Oh no, my battery is low. Dad, can I borrow your laptop? I’ll use it to log into Facebook.”
I took my laptop from the room and handed it to Elena. Then, I stepped out onto the terrace, wrestling with my thoughts. Should I confess everything? The wrong decisions haunted me. Lives had been ruined because of me. Would Elena and her family forgive me if they knew my role in the tragedy? Will there be forgiveness for me? myself?
Then suddenly, I remembered the picture I took of you sleeping in the hut. Panic surged through me as I realized I hadn’t deleted it. I rushed back to the living room. Elena was not there.
“Mom, where’s Elena?” I asked, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice.
“She went to my room.”
I found Elena sitting on the floor, staring blankly at your picture on my laptop’s desktop. I was cornered with no place to hide.
“Mommy, let me explain,” I began, but Elena’s eyes, filled with shock and tears, cut through me.
I told her everything, from the rain that brought us together in the hut to the plan to leave Sagada. I left nothing out. Her face transformed from shock to anger as she listened, her tears drying up, replaced by a steely resolve.
“Are you done explaining?” she asked, her voice cold.
I nodded.
“Let’s keep this quiet, Jeff. Only the two of us should know about you and Camille.”
For a moment, I felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe she would forgive me.
“I don’t want to add more to the sorrows and disappointments of my mother. She might not be able to take it.”
“Thank you, Mommy,” I said, moving to hug her, but she pushed me away.
“Don’t thank me. I’m not finished. I want you gone by the time Mom and I wake up tomorrow. I’ll come up with a story about your disappearance. Maybe I’ll say you were kidnapped by rebels. Or I’ll say the police took you away because you’re a drug addict. Addict? Yeah, you are.”
“Mommy,” I pleaded.
“Don’t call me that anymore. I don’t want to hear any kind of endearment from a fucking moron like you. You’re a monster. I am wondering how will you be able to sleep at night with what you have done.”
I bowed my head in shame.
“Don’t bow your head. Look at me when I’m talking to you.”
I shook my head, unwilling to meet her gaze.
“I said look at me. Damn it, look at me…” she demanded.
I complied, meeting her fierce, tear-filled eyes.
“Take all your things with you, including the t-shirt you gave to that woman. Sleeping with the fairies is fun, right? Come on, answer her question now. Wasn’t it good? Did you enjoy it? Who f – – ks better… me or Camille?”
“Elena… please…”
I tried to hug her again, but she slapped me, twice. The sting of her hand felt like a physical manifestation of my guilt and shame, piercing my soul.
From now on, everything is over between us. You will never see my child, and I will never introduce you as the father.”
“Mommy… sorry… please forgive me.”
“If your apology could change everything that happened, then I would forgive you. But it can’t, can it? Will you be able to sleep at night? Do you know the extent of what you’ve done? You’re worse than an animal. I wish you had died along with that damn woman.”
I knelt before her, ready to beg, but she turned her back on me and left the room.
“Get out so my mom can rest.”
**********
I left Elena’s house early in the morning, slipping out quietly. At the gate, I turned around, hoping Elena would call me back, but she didn’t. The rain had stopped, but the wind still blew. The streetlights cast long shadows as I walked, carrying all my belongings. When I passed a trash bin, I threw away a bag of old clothes to lighten my load.
There was no vehicle I could take to leave the area, so I decided to walk until I reached the street leading to the mini rice terraces. There was a bit more light, so I took one last look at the terraced fields.
I walked until I saw the hut where it all began. I approached it and went inside. My body and mind were tired, so I decided to rest for a while.
As I was about to lie down, I heard the rain start to fall. I closed the window. As I was about to close the door, I remembered you.
I slowly closed the hut’s door.
I waited, hoping you would push it open to come in and join me once more.
And then the heavy rain poured down.
~ E N D ~
When The Rain Falls (8)
Chapter 8 – “Bloody Rain”
It was another Sunday, and you and Daniel arrived at the house again. For the first time in a while, the sky wore a somber hue as a cold wind whispered through the trees. The news warned of an approaching typhoon, a tempest looming on the horizon.
Inside, Elena and her mother busied themselves with lunch preparations while Daniel practiced his shooting in the backyard. You found me on the terrace, an unexpected encounter that made my heart skip a beat. You glanced around cautiously before speaking, ensuring our conversation was private.
“Jeff… I am two weeks delayed. I’ve been dizzy and vomiting frequently these past few days.”
Your words doused me like a bucket of icy water.
“Why are you telling me this, Camille?”
“Damn you. Aside from Daniel, you’re the only one who F – – KED me. And I’m sure Elena already told you why her brother and I never had children despite being together for so long.”
I knew your husband was sterile. I just didn’t want to accept what you were saying because we were facing a monumental problem if it was true. I hoped you were fabricating a story to get my attention.
“Why don’t you take a test to be sure?”
“Later, I have a pregnancy kit with me. Don’t worry, Jeff. I know you’re suffering from another kind of impotence. You have no spine. You’re a boneless coward. You’re only good at one thing… f – – king. If I’m pregnant, I won’t chase you. I can face this problem alone.”
“Camille…” I attempted to grab your arm.
“Don’t touch me, you spineless coward.” You stepped away, ensuring I wouldn’t be able to touch you.
“It would be fun if I were pregnant, right? You’ll have two children next year. Both firstborns. WOW!!! You’re amazing.”
You left me on the terrace with those biting words. The joy and peace I felt a few weeks ago vanished like a popped bubble. From the terrace, I watched as a light drizzle began, soon turning into a heavy downpour accompanied by strong winds.
“Dad… call Daniel. He’s in the orchard at the back. Tell him lunch is ready.”
I felt like I was floating as I walked to the back of the house to call Daniel.
“Daniel… , they say it’s time to eat.”
“Okay, Jeff. Oh… by the way. Do you want to learn how to handle a gun? I’ll teach you how to shoot.”
I nodded absently, my mind reeling. What would happen if Camille was truly pregnant? What would Elena, Daniel, and their mother say if they found out I got Camille pregnant?
As we entered the house, Daniel placed his bullets and gun on the living room table. The rain had intensified, signaling the storm’s arrival.
“Oh, Daniel… son… Be careful when using your gun, okay?”
“Yes, Mom. I took it out again because I’m planning to attend a shooting competition in Baguio next month.”
“Alright, you can start now. Eat up, kids,” their mother said.
“Wait, where’s Camille?”
“She’s in the bathroom, feeling unwell. She said we should go ahead and eat,” Elena replied.
Daniel stood up and went to the bathroom. You probably forgot to lock the door as he pushed it open.
Though the conversation was muffled, we could hear your voices inside.
“It looks like they’re having a serious conversation in there. It seems like they had another argument. Oh, Elena, what trouble has your brother caused this time?”
“Just let them be, Mom. Let’s just eat,” Elena responded.
Elena started eating, but I couldn’t bring myself to take a bite. An inexplicable anxiety gnawed at me.
After a while, Daniel emerged from the bathroom. You were not with him. He approached Elena and angrily placed a pregnancy test on the table. It was positive.
I could only close my eyes, feeling the weight of the problem that had just surfaced, one I wasn’t sure I could handle. Fate may not have wheels… but karma does, and I felt it was about to run me over. The boomerang I threw was coming back, and it seemed I couldn’t catch it without getting hurt.
The rain pounded heavily on the tin roof like stones falling.
“No… it’s not mine. I’ve known I’m pregnant for a while, so I don’t need to use this.”
Their mother closed her eyes, bowed her head, and shook it slowly.
“Maybe you… you know, you might not be…”
“Don’t take me for a fool, Elena. Just last week, I had another check-up. I was still hoping to get Camille pregnant. But no… I’m still sterile… STERILE.”
Before anyone could move, Daniel grabbed the gun from the side table. He stormed back to the bathroom, dragging you out by your hair. You struggled mightily to break free.
What did I do? Nothing. I should have defended you. You were right… I have no backbone. I’m a coward.
“Son, calm down.”
“Brother… brother…!!!”
I stood there like a stump, doing nothing. I just waited for whatever retribution was due to me for all the foolish things I had done. I wanted to run out of the house, escape, and disappear into thin air.
Daniel dragged you to our room. We followed, but he slammed the door shut. It didn’t close properly, and Elena tried to enter.
“Nobody interferes!”
Elena’s attempt to enter was halted, perhaps because her brother pointed the gun at her.
“Who is your man? WHO?”
The gun went off.
“Oh, merciful God,” their mother said, attempting to enter the room, but Elena stopped her.
“Who is your man, I asked? You slut, who got you pregnant?”
We could do nothing outside the room. We just listened and waited. I just waited for you to say my name.
“How does it feel, Daniel? It hurts, right? That was you… raising your voice on your husband for the first time.
“That’s how much it hurt when you once brought your woman to our house. You thought I already left home for the market. I saw you undressed each other. I saw how you F – – KED her. How many times did I see you enter her house? I followed you many times because I wanted to prove the rumors about you two were true.”
“I left her, didn’t I? I changed, didn’t I? I promised to fix myself… our life, didn’t I?”
“It was too late when you changed, Daniel. I had already dirtied myself before you decided to change. I had already fallen in love with someone else before you changed. I had already betrayed you before you decided to change. I was already F – – KED…”
And the gun went off again… once… twice… thrice.
Silence fell in the room. Silence fell in the house. The only sound was the rain hitting the roof.
TO BE CONTINUED…
When The Rain Falls (7)
Chapter 7 – “A Woman Scorned”
Sleep was a distant memory, replaced by the relentless echo of your name. Though I’d made my choice, tethering myself to Elena and our unborn child, the pull towards you remained a stubborn ember. My feelings for you, a complex tapestry woven with threads of longing and regret, refused to unravel. In a world without the weight of impending fatherhood, our paths would have diverged from Sagada, hand in hand.
A dull ache pulsed in my temples as I pushed myself out of bed. Elena was lost in slumber; her peaceful face contrasted with my turmoil. The kitchen offered a momentary respite, and a black coffee was the only solace I could find.
The terrace could offer a momentary respite to clear my head. But fate had other plans. There you were, a tableau of domestic bliss, your head nestled on Daniel’s shoulder. A bitter bile rose in my throat as jealousy, a venomous serpent, slithered through my veins.
“Oh, you’re up already,” Daniel said.
“Yeah, I got up early. I have to prepare my things. I’m heading to Marlboro Hills later.”
“It’s beautiful there, Jeff. You’ll enjoy taking pictures. Sorry for the trouble we caused last night.”
“That’s okay, Daniel.”
“By the way, I’ll go ahead. I need to tend to our vegetable garden.”
“Oh, I see. Alright, take care, brother.”
“I’m the only one going. Camille will stay here for now. I’ll pick her up this afternoon.”
I opened the gate for your husband. After he left, I went back to the terrace. As I got closer to where you were sitting, you stood up. Your sudden rise was a silent declaration of war. Your hands, once soft, connected with my face twice with a stinging force. The world tilted, and I was suspended in a bubble of disbelief for a brief, disorienting moment.
“Why?” I asked, glancing inside the house to ensure no one saw what you did.
“Why? You don’t know why? What you did to me was far worse than these slaps.”
I managed to block your next slap.
“Stop it, Camille… stop it. Please forgive me.”
“Goddamn you, Jeff. Why did you do this to me? You pushed me in deeper instead of pulling me out of the quicksand I fell into.”
I shook my head.
“What’s your answer to my question last night? Didn’t you enjoy being with me? I’m asking you, not Daniel. What’s your answer?”
You started to cry. I gently guided you to sit down.
“Camille… let me explain.”
“I don’t need your explanation. It’s you I need. We can still leave. Later today… or even tomorrow… whenever you want.”
“Sorry, Camille… we can’t do that.”
“Why not? Why?”
I shook my head as I looked at you. You kicked me in the leg.
“Get away from me.”
I retreated to the far end of the terrace, your sobs a mournful symphony that echoed in the still morning air. The weight of your anger pressed down on me, a crushing burden. I wanted to explain, to unravel the tangled mess of our lives, but words seemed inadequate. Your pain was tangible, a physical presence between us.
After a few moments, Elena came out of the room. She saw us on the terrace.
“Good morning, Ate Camille.”
You just smiled in response.
“Why do you look like you’ve been crying, Ate?”
“It’s nothing, I just remembered what happened yesterday.”
“Ah, I thought Jeff was making you cry,” Elena laughed. I knew my fiancée was just joking. You looked at me before smiling at Elena in response to what she said.
Then, Elena came over to me and kissed me on the cheek. You bowed your head, just like I did when you kissed Daniel. It seemed like you didn’t want to see Elena kiss me. Maybe it was jealousy, too.
“Your cheek looks red, Dad. What happened there?”
“Nothing… I just scratched it earlier. That’s why it’s red,” I said, trying to divert your attention by asking, “Is your mom still asleep?”
“Let’s just let her rest so she can get better soon.”
Elena took a sip of my coffee. “Oh… by the way, Ate Camille, I have good news for you.”
“Ha!? What is it?”
“Dad, why don’t you tell Ate Camille?”
“Oh. Why me?”
“Please, Dad… pleeeassseee!”
Reluctantly, I granted Elena’s request. “Camille… El… Elena is pregnant. Six weeks now.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Ate Camille.”
“Wow… well, congratulations to both of you. You’re going to be parents.”
You smiled as you said that. Your forced smile was a mask concealing a tempest of emotions. I saw the flicker of defeat in your eyes, starkly contrasting the joy she was feigning. Your arm, once resting confidently on the chair, now hung limply, a silent confession of her despair. It was a tableau of pain, a silent plea for solace.
“Thank you. Of course, we’ll ask you to be the godmother… right, Dad?”
I nodded. “Ah… sure… sure. Why not.”
When you said that, it seemed like you wanted to burst into tears, especially when Elena lifted her shirt like a child and placed my hand on her belly.
“Hold on, I’ll go inside and lie down again. I have a headache.”
“Oh… that’s a hangover, Camille. Alright, rest well. I’ll go cook breakfast now.”
You and Elena went inside the house together. It was a silent exodus that left me alone with my thoughts. Elena disappeared into the kitchen while you collapsed onto the sofa, your back turned to me. You seemed to be a fortress of solitude, shielding your vulnerability from my probing gaze. I couldn’t decipher the storm within you—sorrow, anger, or a mix of both.
**********
After that day, you and Daniel only visited the house once a week, usually on a Sunday. It was obvious you were avoiding me whenever you were at the house. Those Sundays became a ritual of avoidance, a carefully choreographed dance around the elephant in the room. Not once did we have a conversation alone. But that’s probably for the best because I didn’t want to give Elena any more reason to doubt us—if she had any doubts at all.
Aside from no families being broken, one positive outcome of my not showing up at our meeting that day is the changes I’ve seen in your husband. Your mother-in-law, who will also be my mother-in-law, says Daniel is completely different now. Once trapped in a shadowy world, Daniel now radiated a newfound sense of purpose. If what she says is true, he hasn’t touched alcohol since the day we were supposed to leave Elena and him. And maybe if what I saw in his clutch bag back then was drugs, perhaps he has quit that too.
The following month and a few days had good weather. There were no heavy rains, just occasional light drizzles that didn’t last long. Because of this, Elena and I could visit the places I wanted to go to for the pictures and videos I needed. Taking care of Elena and my travel vlog kept me busy during those days.
We chose the following week as the schedule for our civil wedding because we would be returning to Pasig the week after that. Elena was three months pregnant by then. Only my father, mother, and one sibling would attend because it would just be a simple wedding. I promised Elena that the grand wedding would be after she gave birth.
TO BE CONTINUED…
