Author Archives: M.A.D. LIGAYA
Kay Hirap Paniwalaan
(Mula sa kantang “Never Thought” ni Dan Hill)

Giliw…
Puwede bang hawakan kita?
Upang matiyak ko na totoo ka
Para kasing panaginip ka lamang
Panaginip na tumapos…
nagsilbing tuldok sa aking mga bangungot.
Pangarap na tumapos sa lahat ng aking mga bangungot.
Hindi ako inakalang ako’y magmamahal
Nang kasing-sidhi ng pagmamahal ko sa iyo.
Mahirap paniwalaan, ‘di ba?
Pero iyan ang totoo.
Labis ko ring pinagtatakhan
Kung bakit sobra-sobra kitang kaylangan.
Mahal na mahal kita.
Bakit nga ba?
Giliw… puwede ba kitang hawakan?
Puwede bang makitang muli ang mga ngiti mo
Ngiting parang mga tala
Talang nagbigay liwanag sa dating madilim kong mundo.
Pahintulutan sana akong masdan
Ang taglay mong kagandahan
Kagandahang walang salitang makakapaglarawan.
Akalain mong nagmahal ako ng ganito.
Kay hirap paniwalaan
Pero totoo!
Ikaw ang tibok sa aking puso
Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ako buhay.
Hangarin kang naisakatuparan
Labis-labis kitang kaylangan
Mahirap paniwalaan
Di ba!
Pero iyan ang katotohanan.
What Grandma Taught
(A Dramatic Monologue)
“Have you packed your things? It’s summertime and beginning tomorrow you’ll be staying with your grandma for a couple of months again.” That was my mother.
Oh my, it’s another summer devoid of excitement. For sure, I’l be like a bird again caged in our ancestral house in the province with my authoritarian grandma. In the military, soldiers obey first before complaining, with my grandma, ahhh, obey always…never complain. It’s back to the dark ages… no cellphone…no internet…but a lot of household chores and garden works.
A few minutes later, my father arrived from work. He went straight to the masters’ bedroom. I sensed trouble. Normally, upon arriving, he would lovingly buzz my mom’s cheek and demand from me the tightest of embrace.
“Mom, what’s the matter? I inquired. My mom shrugged her shoulders off and retorted, “I really don’t know. He’s probably tired. Come, let’s talk to him.”
My dad was lying on bed still on his business attire. He was blankly staring at the ceiling. My mom sat on the right side of the bed while I sat on the left. It took sometime before mom was able to convince dad to talk. What he said left both me and my mom dumbfounded. Dad told us that their company declared bankruptcy and he’s unemployed. Even at my young age I comprehended the implications of what he said.
When Mom regained composure she said, “Well, life has to go on. Find another job. In the meantime, our savings will get us through. “ My dad sat beside my mom. He embraced her and told her how sorry he was for not telling her that he used our savings to buy some stocks in the company, just like what the other employees did, hoping that it would save their company. But to no avail. My mom got mad, pushed my dad back and said, “How could you do that? Why didn’t you tell me? What will happen to us now?
Heated exchange of words ensued. My parents lost control, I could see my family slowly being torn apart right before my eyes. But that can’t be. I must do something. “Mom, dad, enough please. “ That was the first time I shouted at my parents. I was sorry but I had no choice. They stopped and stared at me. I just found myself taking their hand and asking them to hold each other’s hands as well. Then I told them that we will kneel together to pray. Hesitatingly they heeded my request. I led the prayer.
“Dear God, we’ve got a big problem. My father lost his job, but we still have each other. We lost our money, we may also lose this house eventually and all the comforts we are accustomed to. But I don’t care, what is important oh God is that I still have my dad, I still have my mom, and all of us are alive and healthy, and most of all we still have you. I believe so firmly what my grandma told me about you God, that You love us and that you will never abandon us, that in times of difficulties you would never fail us. This we pray humbly in the sweetest name of your Son Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.”
Silence engulfed the room after that. Then mom and dad tightly embraced me. They both apologized to me. After a while, I left the room. I felt they must talk things over.
I finally realized the wisdom in the things grandma did to me. Even if there were maids in our ancestral house, she would asked me to help in cleaning the house and the yard, she taught me to perform household chores. She taught me to responsibly spend money and live modestly. If ever my parents decide to let go our maids, well, I am ready. If I need to live a simple life until my father finds another job, no problem at all. My grandma taught me well.
I remember how grandma strictly enforced upon me to pray upon waking up in the morning, before sleeping at night, before meals and just about anytime. She kept telling me that praying is so important in life because everything else may fail, but never God’s love.
Funny, but I just got exited at the prospect of spending another summer with my grandma. I can’t wait to see her.
HALIK SA PISNGI
Hindi ko sinadya…
na labi ko’y dumampi
sa iyong pisngi.
Hay!
Parang bulak
Kay lambot
Kay bango… parang rosas.
At tuhod ko’y nanginig.
Katinua’y parang bula… naglaho.
Aking inulit.
Muli akong humalik.
Sa pisngi.
Paulit-ulit.
At labi ko’y naglakbay
hanggang sa labi mo’y dumantay.
Ika’y pumikit.
Nakangiti.
Hininga mo’y pigil.
Tila hinihintay ang muli kong paghalik.
At bago sana kita muling hagkan
kita’y masuyo munang pinagmasdan.
Nang krus sa kuwintas mo’y kuminang,
May batong sa budhi ko’y dumagan.
Di na kita muling mahagkan.
Takang-takang mata mo’y iminulat
Yumuko ako’t humingi ako ng tawad
At sa pisngi mong sa luha’y tigmak
Sa huling pagkakataon
Labi ko’y lumapat.
On To My Seventh Year in South Korea

(A Personal Essay)
This year (2019) marks my seventh year here in South Korea. I am forever grateful to God for this opportunity, to Gyeoungju University where I taught in 2013, and to Hanseo University where I have been teaching since 2014.
When I decided to accept a job offer from a university here in South Korean way back in 2013, I was ready mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually – and of course professionally. I majored in English and I am licensed teacher. I didn’t come here not knowing what to expect and what to do.
I calculated the benefits I and my family would get from my being employed here (in South Korea) and weighed them against the challenges and sacrifices I need to face and make. There’s no measuring scale to determine if getting all those benefits was worth all the difficulties and hardships I could be contending with and the fact that I would be away from the warm embrace of my wife and son.
Some of my friends and loved ones considered my move as risky personally and professionally. I had a flourishing career as a school administrator and I might start from scratch again should my working in South Korea not turn out well.
I was aware of such risks but I know how to play my cards well. What I consider as my strongest suits are my strong faith in myself and in God. I fully know what I am capable of doing and I know how amazing is God’s grace. I never doubted my abilities, more so His grace.
What made my resolve to work here strong (aside from the personal reasons I mentioned in an essay where I explained why I decided to work in this country) was when I read the contract sent to me after passing the interview. It indicated a working period that is approximately 60% less than what is required in the Philippines yet the pay is (approximately) 300% higher than my pay at that time. More than the salary though was the difference in the number of hours that I would be required to render work – 12 hours of teaching and 4 hours of office. I could use the extra 24 hours (on top of the weekend) to pursue my other interest – writing.
But the downside was – I was not used to being away from my loved ones. I was not used to not seeing my wife and my son for a very long period of time. I also couldn’t cook and I hated doing the laundry and cleaning the house.
I was also told that homesickness and boredom could kill me.
But the die has been cast. My resignation as principal of that school at that time was irrevocable and so was my decision to pursue a teaching career overseas. Even the tears of my wife could not drown my resolve to accept the job offer of Gyeongju university.
And here I am… on to my seventh year as an ESL teacher here in South Korea. There’s no trace of regrets whatsoever for the decision that I made in 2013 to come over. I can say that I have gained tremendous personal and professional growth since that time. True enough I was able to use the spare time to write not only stories, poems, and essays but research works as well. I had the studies I conducted presented in international conferences and published in “indexed” journals.
Now I am maintaining two websites – Hardpen’s Portfolio and Mukahang Poet – where I publish my works in both English and Filipino. Had I not worked here, I doubt if I could have written those studies I completed and created and maintained my two websites.
I also learned to cook and I have no choice but do my own laundry and house cleaning.
What about homesickness and boredom?
I am too busy with my work and my writings that I could not find time to be bored. And when I am not working or writing, I either go to the gym or hike in the mountain or watch movies and NBA games.
And why would I feel homesick when upon waking up in the morning I would call my wife, either through Facebook messenger or Skype, and we talk all day and night when I am not busy working and during weekends. Even if we have nothing more to talk about we don’t end the video chat. That way I could see her and my son moving around our home while I also do what I ought to be doing. I could hear them talking, my dogs barking, and our neighbors’ roosters crowing and hens clucking. Hearing all the sounds in our neighborhood that I got accustomed to make me feel as if I’m home.
Consider this – we have approximately a total of 5 months off between the two semesters. That allows me to visit my family in the Philippines after every 4 months and two weeks and stay with them for at least 40 days. I just have to make sure that I would be able to attend the spring and fall commencement exercises. We’re paid for 12 months in a year which means that even during semestral breaks we receive salaries. That’s a huge blessing.
For those considering ESL teaching in countries like South Korea, Japan, and China, you wouldn’t regret should you try. Just make sure that you really are qualified to teach. It is a disservice to the teaching profession should you assume that because you could speak English you could teach it even if you are not trained to be a teacher.
Ika’y Talinghaga
Ika’y pintig na sa puso ko’y tumibok
Lakas na sa mundo ko’y nagpapaikot
Ngunit ang ngiti mo sa akin ang dulot
Isang laksang saya’t labis-labis na lungkot
Ikaw ay kaligayahang dapat damhin
At pagsisising gumapang sa damdamin
Ika’y kayamanan kung aking ituring
At kabayarang dapat na balikatin
Amihan ka ngang ginhawa sa tag-init
Ngunit hanging sa gabi dulot ay lamig
Kandungan mo’y itinuturing kong langit
Bilangguan nang inaliping pag-ibig
Talinghaga kang mahirap na arukin
Palaisipang ‘di ko kayang sagutin
Magkaganun man ikaw ay mamahalin
Magpakaylan man ‘di kita lilimutin
Pangako mo ma’y mahirap panghawakan
Madali man sa iyo na ako’y iwanan
Ang mahalin mo kahit panandalian
Dulot ay ligayang walang katapusan
(Mula sa kantang “She” ni Elvis Costello)
On Education and What People Achieve and Become

For education to be meaningful, it should be holistic having as its ultimate goal the development of the whole person. Holistic education helps an individual to grow and develop in all dimensions: emotional, psychological, creative, social, imaginative, physical, intuitive, and spiritual as well as intellectual.1 The focus is on the acquisition of knowledge, skills, and values not for the sake of getting the best scores in standardized tests but to prepare them to engage in the real world. Holistic educators seek to engage students in their real life worlds to the greatest extent possible.2
Have the schools of the 21st century been approaching education holistically? Do they deliver the kind of education that enable their students to achieve their full potential? Are children in schools trained merely to be a worker in their chosen fields or prepared to take on the multi-layered challenges they have to contend with in real life?
Answering the foregoing questions definitively is difficult. The ones in the best position to answer them are the graduates themselves. It is only after a few years after completing schooling that people can really evaluate whether the education they receive is meaningful or otherwise.
In the process of evaluating the value of the education people received, the question they need to answer is – “What have they achieved and become through it?”
What education allow people to achieve determines only half the value (or even less) of that education. The other half (or even more) lie in what people become through it. It is not enough that people succeed in their chosen careers – either by being gainfully employed or by having a business of their own – to say that their education is meaningful. What have they become as persons needs to be examined as well.
Psychologists have identified the different aspects of personality as physical, emotional, social, moral/spiritual, and intellectual. It is all in these areas that the evaluation of the process of becoming should be anchored upon.
Tests such as Big Five Personality, HEXACO, Myers-Brigs Type Indicator and Core Self-evaluation can be used to determine the dominant personality traits a person has. In China they have their CPAI (Chinese Personality Assessment Inventory). These tests can somehow help people analyze what have they become (or what are they becoming).
There are only two ways to classify personality traits or characteristics – they are either positive or negative. The HEXACO model of personality structure, for instance, is very specific in describing people in the honesty-humility (H) dimension – sincere, honest, faithful, loyal, and modest/unassuming versus sly, deceitful, greedy, pretentious, hypocritical, boastful and pompous.
What people become can only be labeled in two ways as well – good or bad. There are no gray areas. Ethics (as a branch of Philosophy) established the clear guidelines in determining what is good and bad, right and wrong.
It is of paramount importance that education should not only help people prepare for a career but guide them into developing positive traits and right attitudes. A child is not only a future employee or businessman. When eventually a child becomes an adult, there are other roles he/she has to play in society – as a citizen, as a community member, as a fellowman, as a neighbor, as a friend, as a family member. Life is not all about work. The workplace is only a small part of the world where the child lives.
Achieving is the process of succeeding in one’s chosen career or business – of enjoying the fruits of one’s labor. Becoming is the process of developing into the best person one is capable of turning into – physically, emotionally, socially, morally/spiritually, and intellectually. The person a child becomes would directly impact the way he/she would perform in the workplace, community and society.
The process of achieving enables a person to have the means to earn a living. But earning a living is different from living a life. It is the process of becoming that empowers that person to live a life beyond work.
Education should be considered functional only if it succeeds in guiding the child in the processes of achieving and becoming.
_______________
* (1 & 2) Andrew P. Johnson, Ph.D. Minnesota State University, Mankato
andrew.johnson@mnsu.edu
A politician, let’s say a mayor, could no longer run for re-election due to term limits, what would the honorable gentleman do? Turn his back on politics? Of course not! Power is so addicting. So many of those who experienced to be at the helm of either local or national politics (and enjoyed the benefits, including those “passed under the table”) would not just quit politics nor pass the torch to another person.