After a semester of online teaching, teachers can now be asked which one they would prefer when classes resume after the summer break – to teach online or face-to-face.
Answers may vary depending on what kind of experiences teachers had during the recently-concluded spring semester or how seriously they carried out their pedagogical functions when their respective schools decided to deliver learning through the online platform.
Having gone through what I have experienced during the spring semester, I have much to say about online teaching. I could sum them up in one word – challenging. If I want to I could also say which one I would prefer when the fall semester begins – online or face-to-face teaching? But I wouldn’t for it won’t matter. Why? Because whether schools would still do online teaching or go back to the classrooms for traditional classes is not contingent upon which one the teachers (or even the students and school officials) prefer but what their government leaders would tell the academic community to do based on the status of the current pandemic.
So, if the marching order is for me to teach online, I should follow – the way a good soldier would. The question to ask therefore should not be whether the teachers prefer to teach online or in the classrooms. The “essential” question is whether or not they are ready should the situation next semester warrants that for the safety and well-being of everybody, most especially the students, they should teach online again.
When the current school year started, many teachers were probably caught by surprise when out of the blue their schools announced that classes would be held online. Nobody saw the coronavirus coming. By the time COVID-19 started spreading in different parts of the world, schools already had plans laid out for this school year. Such plans were changed factoring the effects of what eventually became a pandemic.
The academe was left with not choice but to switch to remote learning.
Now, let’s answer the following question: Did the teachers really have only a few weeks to prepare for online teaching?
I don’t think so!
They had all the time in the past.
In one of my previous essays about online teaching, I asserted the following:
“With or without COVID-19, the ability to use technology in the classroom – to apply all available technology resources to education – is something that teachers should have trained themselves to do a long time ago. The use of technology has become an integral part of being a 21st century teacher. There’s no way out of it. Schools should have made it a basic requirement for the teachers they hired. The abilities to create, evaluate, and effectively utilize information, media, and technology are required 21st century skills. Teachers are expected to possess them.”
Take it from HG Wells – “Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature’s inexorable imperative.” The landscape of education is very dynamic, it keeps changing. Most of the changes are driven by advances in communication and information technology. Teachers will be doing their profession a disservice should they not adapt.
Based on what I have personally experienced, online teaching is very challenging. I actually consider it more difficult than teaching in the classroom.
Remember that online teaching will test not only the extent of your accumulated knowledge and skills in communication and information technology but also how you incorporate such knowledge and skills in pedagogy, in the major activities that teachers do – planning, instruction and assessment.
Online teaching is not only a matter of learning how to use video conferencing applications. Video conferencing is only the tip of the iceberg called online teaching. As I emphasized in another essay – “Online or otherwise, when you are a teacher, you should teach. You ought to find a way to achieve the objectives of the course/s you are teaching, cover the topics enumerated in the syllabus, motivate your students, discuss the lessons, give assignments, and evaluate learning. It will definitely test the limits of your creativity, resourcefulness, and patience.
Why do I write?
Is it to impress?
I don’t write to impress. I’m well aware of the fact that my writing skill is nowhere near excellent. It seems to me that I am not even halfway my journey to excellence in writing. But I am sure I’ll get there before I breathe my last. Right now, I am still inside the “room for improvement.”
Let me go back to the question – Why do I write?
Do I write in the hope that I earn money and become famous?
Not even!
Becoming famous and earning money are not my primary reasons for writing. Of course I need money. It’s hypocritical to say that I don’t like to have additional numbers to the farthest north of the first digit in my bank account.
But can writing earn you money?
Writing is very financially rewarding especially if you are a script writer of one of the popular TV networks or movie outfits in your own country or a novelist who belongs in the league of the likes of J.K. Rowling, Dan Brown, and Stephen King.
Yes, I am also earning from writing. It’s actually my secondary source of income. I got paid for some of the articles/papers I have written. When I began writing when I was young, I did not expect that someday it would be an extra income source. I used to think that “there’s no money in writing.”
The university where I am currently employed offer cash incentives to professors for research works published in international (indexed) journals. The university also gives honorarium for articles contributed to the school’s publication in English.
I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to hone my skills as a writer and researcher, to possibly add to the sum of existing knowledge, to have my works read, and to even earn extra money in the process. So, I have been publishing papers in international journals and contributing articles to our university publication. In addition, I have been doing it (the publication of research papers) because university professors are supposed to publish. Our university is not requiring us but I consider publishing as a “professional obligation.”
Once in a while, some individuals would also commission me for writing jobs. There were times I did it for free. There were also times that I was promised remunerations for what I wrote but didn’t get any. I was also duped once by an online news organization who did not pay me a single cent for the articles I wrote for them.
I consider the cash incentives as my reward for doing what I love doing – WRITE. But it’s not all about the money. The money is not the reason I write.
The rewards that writing gives, for me, are hard to quantify. Such rewards are transcendental. That’s not me trying to sound philosophical. That’s just the way I feel about it.
What about fame? What about the accolades? Are those the the things that inspire me to write?
NOPE!
As a matter of fact, when I write and allow people to read my works I am unnecessarily putting myself under the microscope. I am putting myself in the line of fire if among my readers there are unforgiving members of the grammar police who wouldn’t hesitate to shoot on sight anyone whose spoken and written English are perforated with errors in grammar. When they start firing you can not hide. My missing the comma between the words “firing” and “you” in the previous sentence is something they could not miss.
So, instead of accolades I may get negative comments. This is the reason, a friend said, that he would never write for any publication or post any of his writings on any of the social networking sites. He is afraid he may not be able to take negative comments. He added he fears committing errors in grammar. He considers it embarrassing to be corrected for such mistakes.
In my case, criticisms and corrections are welcome. I won’t die if criticized and corrected. As a matter of fact, I have already received a lot of those and here I am – still alive and kicking. I don’t mind if somebody calls my attention for mistakes I committed. Just break it to me gently and constructively.
The reason erasers were invented and keyboards of computers have backspace and delete keys is… nobody’s perfect.
I keep rereading my stuffs in this website to correct possible errors and to improve them.
People may read or disregard what I write. If they do read, a million thanks. If not – no hard feelings. And for having reached this far into my essay, I want to say thanks to you.
I may have received some good comments from my friends for some of my writings in the past. But of course, those comments may have been either meritorious or simply generous. Sometimes there are people who give positive and encouraging compliments. Thanks to them.
But aside from good comments some of my works have also angered some individuals who were offended thinking that what I wrote pertained to them. Writing sometimes is a magnet for trouble. How many journalists around the world have been killed (and ostracized) for articles they have written?
I remember quite well when I wrote a satirical poem in Filipino (about a wolf in sheep’s clothing) when I was working in a Catholic college. The parish priest who felt alluded to (and I was really alluding to him) reportedly asked the Sister-President of the college, my superior, to summon me to the latter’s office so he could talk to me about what I wrote. However he was dissuaded from pursuing his request. But even if he was able to convince the President and the College Dean then, I wouldn’t see him. Why? That poem I wrote and my act of writing it had nothing to do with my employment. My being a writer has no personality and office that could be connected to any of the lines that run vertical and horizontal in our organizational chart. In short, the priest had no authority over me. The priest never bugged me again but I wrote another poem for him (Habit and Habit).
My quatrains (in Filipino) are the ones that brought me some colorful moments. I have lost a friend or two (or is it three… perhaps more) for the quatrains I have posted in a social networking site. I once wrote a quatrain and a friend liked it. Almost a year later, I re-posted the same quatrain and surprisingly the same person who previously liked it was angered and gave me a mouthful. We’re very good friends so we talked about it. He understood, apologized, and we both forgot about it since then.
Also, my writings where my political beliefs are in full display had me losing very dear friends.
So, why do I write then?
Is it for the “likes,” “reactions,” and compliments I get when I have those poems, stories, and essays posted in my social networking accounts or in this website?
Not also.
Of course those things make me happy and I am so thankful for those friends who take time to read my works then reacted and commented on them.
Then, why? Why do I write?
It’s hard to explain. It’s something like a combination of the answers to the following questions: Why do people need to eat when they are hungry? Why do they need to drink when they are thirsty? Why do they need to take medicine when they are sick? Why do they have sex? Why do they laugh and cry? Why do they love and hate? Why do they dream and despair? Why do they live and die?
There is a kind of hunger within me that only writing can satisfy. There’s an insatiable thirst in my soul that would go away only when I read what I write. I suffer from a very mysterious illness that goes away only when I write in sentences or verses the equivalent words of the thoughts and feelings that drown me during quiet moments in my life.
Writing is my endorphin.
I must release my pain, anger and disagreement by writing about them or else they will haunt me endlessly. When I feel wronged I have to respond, not by violent means. I respond in a creative manner – through poems – sometimes satirical. I do it usually using anthropomorphism.
If the spirits of William Shakespeare and Elizabeth Browning I could not summon through the glass to inspire me to express in poetry whatever I wish to say then I turn to Francis Bacon and Michel de Montaigne’s way of capturing into words – essays – whatever it is that I wish to convey. If I don’t wish to be so direct with my points and would like to hide my feelings and thoughts between lines and behind symbolism then I walked the path that Edgar Allan Poe and Guy de Maupassant paved. I write stories.
I just don’t keep quiet when I notice human follies displayed by my loved one, friends, and other people around me. Again I resort to anthropomorphism. I use animals to represent their irrationality. It may hurt them and make them angry but the truth may be bitter but sweeter than the sweetest lie. VERO NIHIL VERIUS. Nothing is truer than the truth.
This is not saying that I am a perfect human being. I am as imperfect as anyone else and may have, perhaps, done more terrible things. Thus, the satires I wrote are like boomerangs. They sometimes hit me also.
Pain is like a prison cell. It is by writing that I break free from that hell. As my heart churns out the words, I go through the pain, feel it, not escape from it. And as I write the final sentence or verse, as I put the final punctuation mark, the pain vanishes.
Even my happiness and satisfaction wouldn’t be complete if I do not write about them. I need to capture in either prose or poetry those moments so I can feel more deeply the joy they bring. I do write about them so I can relive those moments any time I wish to.
I need neither material rewards nor accolades for what I have written (and will be writing.) The essays, plays, poems, research works, and stories I create are themselves the rewards. I love and treasure them.
A picture paints a thousand words. Prose and poetry provide the caption that make the picture complete.
I write not to impress but rather to express my thoughts, feelings and ideals. Writing is my freedom, my happiness.
SCRIBO, ERGO SUM. I write, therefore I am.
Ika’y nagbantay,
Matyagang naghintay.
Sa wakas, ako’y nahinog.
Hinog na hinog!
Pagmasdan mong mabuti ang aking alindog.
Hayaan mo munang mata mo’y mabusog.
Ika’y lumapit.
Di ba’t ako’y walang kasing-kinis?
Batid mo nang ako’y ubod tamis.
Batid mo ring ako’y makatas…
na ako’y walang kasing-sarap.
Halina.
Lapit pa.
Hawakan mo ako.
Hinay-hinay lang.
Ako’y hinog na.
Hinog na hinog.
Ako’y haplusin,
Dahan-dahang pitasin.
Amuyin…
Kagatin…
Gutom mo’y iyo nang pawiin.
Some of the meat dishes I tried here in South Korea are somewhat similar to the meat dishes in the Philippines.
One Korean beef dish that reminds me so much of our own “nilagang baka” (Filipino beef stew with clear broth) is 갈비탕 (galbitang/kalbitang).
Kalbi, in English, is short ribs. When Filipinos cook beef stew, it’s also the ribs of the cow they choose. But while in the Philippines we add Chinese chard, potato, cabbage and saba (a banana variety used primarily for cooking), with kalbitang, added are radish, enoki mushrooms dangmyeon (starch noodles) and onions. In a restaurant, I was once served kalbitang with egg. I was also told that it can also be cooked with kimchi. That I have not tried yet.
Tang means soup. Synonymous to tang is another Korean word – guk. Thus, if at the end of the name of a certain Korean dish there’s either tang or guk, expect that the meat is cooked with soup.
삼계탕 (samgyetang) for example is soupy chicken dish. It is comparable to the Filipinos’ tinolang manok (chicken stew) which is cooked with either green papaya or chayote and ginger. Samgyetang consists primarily of a whole young chicken stuffed with garlic, rice, jujube, and ginseng. If you add ginger, pepper, and either papaya (not ripe) or chayote, it will taste like the Filipino chicken dish called chicken tinola (chicken stew in ginger broth and vegetables). But while chicken tinola the chicken is chopped into small pieces, with samgyetang the young chicken is cooked whole.
While samgyetang is a popular summer stamina food, Filipinos love eating this chicken tinola during cold and rainy days. Koreans troop to samgyetang restaurants in summer, particularly during the so-called three dog days of summer (or three hottest days of summer.)
The Filipino in me make me go for samgyetang during autumn and winter. They’re perfect for the cold days and nights during those seasons.
Another Korean meat dish that has striking similarities with another famous Filipino food is 설렁탕 (seolleongtang). For kalbitang, the part of the cow used are the ribs but for this dish called ox-bone soup in English it’s the leg bones. Usually prepared with spring onions only but one time I have tried one with radish and thin wheat flour noodles. It’s similar to Philippines’ bulalo (beef marrow stew.)
What about pork dishes?
I’m familiar with two… one of which is actually my favorite. These two Korean pork dishes is not like any of the pork dishes I got accustomed to in the Philippines. They are uniquely Korean.
The first one is 감자탕 (gamjatang). It’s pork neck bones that are used to make this Korean meat dish and usually cooked with potatoes (primarily) and other vegetables. There seems to be a disagreement among Korean food experts as to what gamja in gamjatang refers to – is it the potato or meat around the pork spines bones? So, it’s not settled yet as to how should it be called in English – spicy pork bone stew or potato stew. For the meantime, forget about the name. Just enjoy the taste.
The next Korean meat dish I wish to feature in this article (and actually my favorite among the meat dishes here in South Korea) … is 뼈해장국 (ppyeo haejangguk).
Others would simply call it haejangguk, which means, according to existing literature, hang-over soup. I’m more used to calling it ppyeo haejangguk for that’s how it’s written in the menus of restaurant where I ate them. One thing that I have noticed is that it is somewhat similar to gamjatang minus the potatoes. Both are spicy but when you order you can request that it be made less spicy or not spicy at all. I was told that there is a variety of haejangguk where instead of pork spine it’s ox-bone that is used.
Of all the meat dishes I tried here in South Korea, ppyeo haejangguk is my favorite. It doesn’t mean though that I need to eat it often because of hang-over. I just love the taste and the spiciness of this meat dish. The price ranges from 5,000 KRW to 7,000 KRW.
Two other meat dishes I came to like here are the following: 제육덮밥- jeyuk deopbap and 족발 (jok-bal).
There are more meat dishes here in South Korea but the five I presented here are the top 5 in my list. It is very possible that after my 5 years being here I may have not tried some them yet.
I wrote an article in Filipino about Korean meat dishes in order for my friends in the Philippines to know the different ways Koreans cook meat. This is the English version of the said article. The beef, pork and chicken dishes I mentioned in that write-up were limited to the ones that I already tried. I focused mainly on what I literally saw on the bowls and plates when I ate them… like what kind of meat were they, which parts of the cow, chicken or pig were used, and what vegetables and other ingredients were mixed. I added some personal observations.
Korean Dishes/Foods I Tried
— o —
The semester – when most teachers hold their classes online because of the corona virus – is about to end. From what I have been experiencing, I have all the reasons to say that online teaching is more challenging than face-to-face instruction. Teaching during the pandemic put my creativity, resourcefulness, and patience to a litmus test.
What I consider as the most difficult challenge in online teaching is assessment. And as the semester is about to end, it’s time to crunch numbers then decide to push either the “pass” or “fail” buttons.
What if the scores of my students are very low?
Below is an essay I have written on the subject of passing or failing the students.
**********
To pass, or not to pass…
That is the dilemma of teachers when the performance of some students during an entire term is below par and their total grades go south of the passing mark.
What should the teachers do – pass or fail the students?
Is passing students in a subject or course mandatory on the part of the teachers?
It’s a different story if a student fails due to absences. The student failed by default. But what if a student is regularly attending classes?
There are possible repercussions should teachers fail their students. When they fail students they had better be ready to answer possible queries from the students, from their parents, and the school administration. Usually, complaints of students, most specially when they are accompanied by their parents, would also lead to school authorities investigating the teachers concerned. It’s not only a matter of being ready to answer questions but the teachers should also prepare class records and other documents that could prove beyond reasonable doubt that the students did not perform well and deserve to get a failing mark.
There are times that teachers thought that they have exhausted all possible means to help the students perform better but to no avail… that they have tried different strokes for different folks, but none of the strokes they applied worked.
But the painful truth is that there are also teachers who would not walk an extra mile to help students improve on their academic performance.
Now, granting that the teachers have done everything they possibly could to help the students pass but their efforts proved futile, would failing the students be considered justifiable already?
Should teachers be applauded when they take the moral high ground and say that schools are committed to excellence and passing failing students would be tantamount to promoting mediocrity?
Failing students is not a simple decision to make. Whether or not to pass students is a path that should be carefully tread. There are a lot of things to be considered before making the final decision. There are questions that the teachers need to answer very clearly. Questions that would lead to more questions.
Do the grades teachers give truly reflect the abilities of the students? Let’s say that the answer is yes. The next question would be, “Were the tests the teachers made valid? Did the teachers make sure that their tests measured what they intended to measure?
There are more questions – Were the tests the teachers designed in congruence with the strategies they used when they presented theirs lessons? What informed the strategies that they have selected? What foundation of learning and teaching did they stand upon when they delivered their lessons? Did they consider the abilities of their students when they designed the activities in the class? Or is it a matter of whatever decision they make as teachers are contingent upon their personal comfort?
Yes, the role of the teacher is that complicated. That’s why the decision to pass or not to pass a students is actually an examination of the teachers’ conscience. It is answering the ultimate question – “Did I really do my job as a teacher?”
Ask teachers if they are really doing the things expected of them and their response would be an unequivocal yes.
Really?
So here is another question – “Why would students fail if teachers are doing their job well?”
The question above leads us to the next question – “When students fail does it mean they did not learn?”
Students failing means they did not pass majority (if not all) of the tests (short or long, oral or written) the teachers gave during the entire term. All of those tests are meant to evaluate learning that was supposed to have taken place when the teachers discussed their lessons and did all the activities they designed for the class. So, if the students failed the tests it would mean they did not learn.
Why did the students not learn? What happened? Did the teachers bother to know why? Could there be something wrong with their strategies? Like their strategies probably did not work or something could be wrong with their methods of testing. Yet, they did not bother to adjust and allowed the accumulation of failed tests on the part of the students.
Only the teachers who are pedagogically trained would be able to detect when something is not right with what they are doing. If they are true to their calling as teachers, they would do something about it. They will make the necessary adjustments. If they don’t care then may God bless the students. It’s much worse when those hired to teach are not really trained as teachers. They don’t have the pedagogical skills to understand what is really happening. For them, it’s just a matter of when the students don’t get the scores required they fail. That’s it.
Let’s bring back one of the questions posed earlier – “When students fail does it mean they did not learn?”
If the answer to this is yes it means that the grades of the students reflect not only their performance but that of their teachers as well.
How true is it that “it’s not teaching if there’s no learning.” Can the teachers claim they did their job as teachers even if their students fail?”
When students fail the tests meant to evaluate learning then the activities designed and strategies selected fail to help achieve the objectives. It is the responsibility of the teachers to make sure that their objectives are attainable and the corresponding activities and strategies are effective. It is their responsibility to make sure that their students would succeed. It is as simple as that. A philosophical mind is not needed to grasp that… just common sense would do.
The worst thing that can happen to students is to have teachers whose view of education is myopic – teachers who judge students according to the numbers they crunch during tests and recitations. The students are much more valuable than those numbers.
Education transcends all statistical data that teachers collect during a school term. Yes there are written rules. There are policies and regulations. But they are not absolute. Education cannot be confined to a box. It is more than black and white. It is as colorful as the rainbow. Teachers should lead their students to the proverbial end of that rainbow where a pot of gold – a good future – awaits them.
“Ihiwalay mo ang mga puti sa de-kolor.”
Ako’y isang batang musmos pa lamang noong marinig ko ang mga salitang iyon sa unang pagkakaton. Iyon ang mahigpit na bilin ng lola sa aming kasambahay tuwing ito’y maglalaba.
“Brasin mo ang mga puti. Tiyakin mong mawawala lahat ng mantsa.” Dagdag pa ng medyo may pagka-istriktang nanay ng nanay ko. “Huwag mong kalimutang ikula.”
Ganun ka-espesyal ang atensyong ibinibigay sa mga puting damit.
Heto pa ang pahabol ng lola ko noon, “Ihuli mo ang mga kulay itim. Huwag na huwag mong isasama sa mga puti yan. Naku, malilintikan ka sa akin.”
Tumimo iyon sa aking isipan. Kaylangang pag-ingatan ang mga damit na puti ang kulay. Huwag na huwag silang ihahalo sa mga de-kolor kapag naglalaba upang huwag silang mamantyahan. At ang mga itim na damit ay kaylangang ihuli sa lahat – huwag na huwag isasama sa mga puti at kahit anong de-kolor na damit. Kapag nagbanlaw man ay ihuli raw rin ang mga de-kolor at itim at ang gamiting tubig ay iyong pinagbanlawan na lang ng mga puti.
Kaawa-awang de-kolor, lalo na ang mga itim.
Naugnay ito sa isang bagay na nagdulot sa akin ng kalituhan noong ako’y mura pa ang gulang. Ito ay nang tanungin ko ang aking ina tungkol sa isang larawan sa pahina ng librong binabasa niya na ang pamagat ay “Land of the Free.” Ipanagpatuloy kasi ni mama ang pag-aaral sa kolehiyo noong kaming magkakapatid ay hindi na alagain. Madalas eh buklatin ko’t basahin ang mga librong iniuuwi n’ya galing sa kanilang library. Ipinapakita sa larawan iyon ang salitang “rest room” at may nakalagay sa ilalim nito sa magkabilang bahagi na “white” at “colored.”
“Colored” daw ang tawag ng mga Amerikanong puti sa mga kababayang nilang itim ang balat.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit natawa ang aking ina nang sabihin kong kulay din naman ang puti. Mali ba ako? Bakit ang mga maiitim eh “colored” kung tawagin at ang mga puti eh hindi? Colorless ba ang puti.
Pilosopo daw ako sabi ni mama. Tama daw akong kulay din ang puti pero napakabata ko pa daw para maiintindihan ang konseptong “colored.”
Para bang gusto akong batukan ni mama ng sabihin ko sa kanya na siya ang nagturo sa akin na ang English sa kulay ay color at tanging ang tubig alang masasabing walang kulay.
Natingin ako noon sa aking balat. Ito’y kayumanggi. Kaunti na lang eh itim na rin. Basta hindi ako maputi. At kapag natapos akong maglalaro ako ng matagal sa labas tuwing walang pasok eh sasabihin ng nanay kong, “Ayan kakabilad mo sa araw nangitim ka na.” Kung ang mundo’y isang malaking batya at ako’y damit na lalabhan eh masasama ako sa de-kolor at hindi sa puti. Kaunti na lang ang diperensya ng balat ko sa itim kaya kapag binanlawan ako eh malamang sa bandang huli na rin.
Ipinaliwanag ni mama na may panahon daw sa bansang Amerika na hindi pwedeng makihalubilo ang mga Negro sa mga puti sa mga pampublikong lugar katulad ng restaurant, sinehan, mga sasakyan at maging nga sa mga palikuran.
Eh bakit?
Tinignan ko ang iba pang mga larawan sa mga sumunod na pahina ng libro. Maging sa isang drinking fountain eh ganoon nga. Hindi pwedeng uminom ang mga de-kolor ang kutis sa iniinuman ng mga puti.
Bakit ganun?
“Baka ba mamantsahan ang mga puti kaya’t bawal na makihalubilo sila sa mga hindi nila kakulay ng balat?”
Iyon syempre ang uri ng tanong na pwedeng manggaling sa isang batang paslit na katulad ko.
Parang nagulat si mama. Hindi kaagad siya nakasagot. Naningkit ang mata’t pagkatapos eh biglang kumunot ang noo. Ganun din ang itsura ng mga kaklase ko kapag sila’y biglang tinawag ng titser namin upang sumagot sa isang tanong at hindi nila masagot.
Tila nahirapan si mama na sagutin ang tanong ko. Tumango’t ngumiti na lamang siya. Hindi ko masasabing “oo” ang sagot ni mama sa aking tanong. Sa tango niya’t ngiti kasi ay parang sinasabi niyang, “Sorry hind ko alam ang sagot.” Parang ako lang kapag hindi ko kayang sagutin ang tanong ng aming guro. Titingin na lang ako sa kanya at ngingiti sabay kamot sa aking batok.
Kabisado ako ng aking ina. Alam n’yang unang tanong ko pa lamang iyon, marami pang susunod. Subalit bago ko pa man buksan ang bibig ko upang muling magtanong ay inunahan na niya ako.
“Balang araw eh maiintindihan mo din kung bakit. Sige na anak, maglaro ka na muna sa labas. Akin na muna ang librong iyan at magre-review pa ako.”
*****
Pagsampa ko ng high school eh naririnig ko pa rin ang bilin ni lola na dapat hiwalay ang mga puti sa de-kolor. At tulad pa rin ng dati, ang mga itim na damit ay parang ketongin na nakahiwalay sa lahat nang huwag makahawa ng kulay. Sa panahong iyon si mama naman ang nagbibilin sa bunso naming kapatid na babae bago sila maglaba. Wala na kasi kaming kasambahay noon. Nagsimula ng magtipid ang mga magulang ko. Hindi na rin namin kapiling si lola kaya’t si mama at ang bunso na namin ang naglalaba.
Minsan tumutulong akong paghiwalayin ang mga puti sa de-kolor bago maglaba ang aking ina’t kapatid. At habang ginagawa ko ‘yon ay bumabalik sa aking ala-ala ang mga larawang nakita ko noon sa librong binabasa ni mama – mga larawang nagpapakita na sa Amerika ay pinagbabawalang makihalubilo ang mga de-kolor ang kutis sa mga puti. Akala ko pa naman na mababait ang mga Amerikano dalhin madalas magkwento ang lola ko noon na iniligtas daw tayo ng mga puting dayuhan laban sa mga mapang-aping mga Hapones noong panahon ng ikalawang-digmaang pandaigdig.
Kaya nga’t kahit first year pa lang ako noon eh nagbabasa na ako ng libro ng World History. Sa fourth year pa namin pag-aaralan dapat iyon subalit nabitin kasi ako sa sagot noon ni mama kung bakit ganoon – kung bakit sa bansang Amerika ay parang pinandidirihan ang mga maitim ang kutis. Naisip ko din kung ganoon din ba ang turing sa mga Negro sa iba pang bahagi ng mundo. Eh bakit ba kasi ganoon? May ginawa bang masama ang mga taong maiitim ang balat kaya ganun sila kung tratuhin? Kasalanan ba ang maging maitim?
Akala ko na sa pagbabasa eh mauunawaan ko kung bakit may ganoong patakaran sa Amerika noon. Hindi pala. Marami pa akong nalaman at habang ang isip ko ay nadadagdagan ng impormasyon eh lalo lamang akong nalilito. Lalong dumadami ang aking mga tanong.
Gusto ko noong tanungin ang aking ina kung bakit hindi n’ya sa akin kaagad ipinaliwanag na dati pala’y alipin ng mga puti ang mga taong itim ang balat kaya’t mababa ang pagtingin nila sa mga ito.
Ang pinagmulan pala ng lahi ng mga Amerikano ay ang Inglatera. Dati pala silang mga Briton. Ang mga Briton ang nagdala noon sa Amerika ng mga Negro galing sa kontinente ng Africa upang gawing mga alipin – tagapagsilbi nila at mga taga-tanim.
Ang dami ko palang hindi alam tungkol sa kasaysayan ng mundo. Kaya’t pinagbuti ko pa ang pagbabasa. Noon ko naunawaan na sa pagbabasa ay hindi ka lang makakahanap ng sagot sa mga katanungan mo kundi mula sa mga sagot ay dadami lalo ang iyong mga tanong. Sa mga malalaman mo ay maaring ikaw ay magtaka, matawa, magalit, mainis o mandiri. Maari din namang maawaka ka.
Ako’y naawang lalo sa mga taong itim ang kulay ng balat.
Ang mga larawang nakita ko kasi sa patuloy kong pagbabasa eh hindi lamang inihihiwalay ang mga taong maitim sa mga mapupusyaw ang balat. Merong mga larawang nakakadena sila sa leeg, nakatali ang kamay at hinihila ng mga puti na parang mga hayop. May mga tinatadyakan, sinasampal at sinusuntok
Ang iba’y may tali sa leeg, hindi hinihila kundi nakasabit sa puno. Labas ang dila. Patay. Nakapaligid ang mga mapuputi’t matatangkad na tao. May hawak na pamalo at baril. Ang ila’y nakapamaywang pa at parang tumatawa. Ang hirap unawain na kung bakit sa mga larawang iyon ay nakuha pa nilang ngumiti habang sa likuran nila’y may mga bangkay ng mga taong itim ang balat na nakalambitin.
Bakit ganoon?
Nabasa ko rin na ang mga kababaihan ay ginagahasa. Ganun kabrutal ang mga puti. Minaltrato’t inaabuso nila ang mga de-kolor. Sana eh hindi totoo ang mga nabasa ko. Sana inimbento lang iyon ng mga sumulat ng kasaysayan. San lang eh ang mga larawang nakita ko ay mga drawing na masyado magaling lang ang gumuhit kaya’t nagmukhang totoo.
Sana man lang eh binigyan ako ni mama ng babala noon na magugulantang ako sa iba pang mga bagay na malalaman ko kapag ako’y nagpumilit na ungkatin ang isyu tungkol sa mga de-kolor ang kutis at mga puti. Naisip ko na lamang na kaya hindi sinagot ni mama kung bakit ganun ay maging siya man ay nahirapang unawain ang bagay na iyon. At kung siya nga ay nahirapan eh ako pa kaya na noo’y batang uhugin lang.
Tama naman si mama. Mahihirapan talaga akong unawain kung bakit hinakot ng mga ninuno ng mga puti sa Amerika ang mga tinatawag nilang “colored” mula sa Africa upang sila’y gawing alipin at pagkatapos ay parang hayop kung ituring, parang baka o kabayong pwedeng ibenta, sasaktan kung magkakamali, gagahasain ang mga kababaihan kung sila’y lukuban ng makamundong pagnanasa, at papatayin kung magtatankang lumaban.
Mahirap pa ring unawain na porke de-kolor ang kutis ng tao ay may karapatan na ang mga puti na sila’y maltratuhin. O dahil maputi ba sila eh pwede na nilang gawin ang ano mang gusto nilang gawin?
Bakit? Nabili na ba ng mga taong maputi ang balat ang mundo?
Natanong ko sa sarili iyan nang sabihin ng guro namin sa Philippine History na minsa’y hinati ng Espanya at Portugal ang lahat ng lupain sa mundo na nasa labas ng Europa. Kaya hayun, bukod sa kasaysayan ng mundo eh nagbasa na rin ako ng tungkol sa kasaysayan naman ng Pilipinas.
Hindi ko maintindihan. Lalo akong nalito. Pinaghati-hatian daw ng mga Ingles, Pranses, Espanyol, Portuges, at Aleman ang lahat ng lugar na kayang marating ng kanilang mga dambuhalang sasakyang-pandagat. Silang mga mapuputi ang siyang naghari.
Bakit ganoon?
Nabasa ko na sa pahanong iyon ay sinakop pala tayo ng mga Kastila, mga puting galing sa Europa sa loob ng mahigit tatlong daang taon. Tapos nagtangkang agawin ng mga Ingles ang Pilipinas mula sa kanila. Ngunit ang nagtagumpay na umagaw ng bayang sinilangan ko mula sa Espanya ay ang Amerika. Ang katwiran pa ng mga Amerikano ay kung hindi daw nila sinakop ang bansa natin ay ang mga Aleman daw ang gagawa nito. Talaga ba? Parang laruan lang ang mga bansa ng mga taong de-kolor kung pagpasapasaan ng mga puti.
Ang mga lahing de-kolor, mga itim at kayumanggi, tayo’y parang mga hayop na itinuring ng mga puting galing sa kanluran. Ang mga lupain nati’y kanilang kinamkam at ang ating mga likas na yaman ay kanilang ninakaw.
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Pagtungtong ko sa kolehiyo, ako na naglalaba ng sarili kong damit. Sinunod ko pa rin ang mahigpit na bilin ng aking lola – inihihiwalay ko ang mga puti sa de-kolor at ang itim ay laging huli.
Patuloy pa rin ang pagbabasa ko ng kasaysayan ng mundo at ng Pilipinas. Marami pa akong nalaman tungkol sa pilit na ginagawang paghahari-harian ng mga puti at kung papaanong hindi nila ituring na kapantay ang mga de-kolor.
Noon ko mas naintindihan ang tinatawag na “holocaust” na kung saan ay pinatay ng mga Nazi ang milyong-milyong Hudyo na ang intension ay burahin sa mundo ang lahi ng mga ito. Kay hirap unawain kung bakit ganun na lamang ang galit ng mga Aleman sa mga Hudyo. Marami ang naniniwala na nang gawin ng mga Aleman ang karumal-dumal na krimeng iyon ay sinunod nila ang sistema ng “racial segregation” na ipinatupad ng mga Amerikano sa mga kababayan nilang itim ang kulay ng balat.
Pinilit kong saliksikin iyon dahil sa isa ding larawang nakita ko sa isang encyclopedia sa high school library namin noon. Larawan iyon ng isang malaking hukay na may lamang maraming bangkay at may mga nakapaligid na sundalong mga puti’t matatangkad, mga Aleman, na parang mga nakangisi pa habang nakamasid sa mga kahabag-habag na mga kapwa nila taong patay na.
Bakit ganun?
Bakit tinangkang lipulin ng mga Aleman ang lahing galing sa binhi ni Abraham? Kasalanan ba ang maging Hudyo.
Hindi ko maintindihan na kung bakit sa paniniwalang sila’y ang superiyor na lahing puti ay nagkaroon na sila ng karapatang ubusin ang mga Hudyo. Dahil ang mga Hudyo daw ay hindi maituturing na puti. Ang mga Hudyo daw ay isang mantsa sa lahing puti kaya’t dapat burahin.
Gusto ko na sanang tigilan na ang pagbabasa dahil habang patuloy kong binabaybay ang mga pahina ng kasaysayang ng bansa ko’t ng mundo eh paulit-ulit kong nasasabi ang “Bakit ganun?”
Bakit tuwing may larawang pupukaw ng aking atensyon ay laging may mga mapuputi’t matatangkad na kung hindi nakatingala ay nakayapak sa mga bangkay ng mga taong de-kolor ang kutis?
Bakit kasi kinunan pa ng larawan ang mga sundalong Amerikano na mga nakangiti’t nakapamaywang habang nasa paanan nila ang isang malaking hukay na puno ng dang-daang bangkay ng mga kayumangging Pilipinong Muslim.
Ke puputi’t ke yayabang ng mga kriminal. Di bale sana kung mga mandirigma lang ang mga napatay nila. Bakit pati mga sibilyan, mga babae at mga bata eh kanilang idinamay? Dahil ba sa sila’y de-kolor kaya’t wala silang karapatang mabuhay.
Wala akong makitang pagkakaiba sa larawan ng Holocaust at sa larawan ng Bud Dajo massacre. Pareho lamang silang nagpapakita ng kalupitan na kayang gawin ng tao sa kanilang kapwan. At di ko alam kung bakit nagkataong parehong puti ang kulay ng kutis ng mga taong may kagagawan ng mga iyon.
Bakit ganun?
Ang mga sundalong Nazi sa Alemanya ay kinasuhan ng “genocide.” Eh ano naman ang tawag sa ginawa ng mga Amerikano sa Jolo, sa Samar at sa ilang lugar pa sa Pilipinas? Ano ba ang tawag sa ginawang pamamaslang ng mga kapwa nila puting Kastila, Pranses, Ingles, Portuges at Aleman sa mga bansang sinakop nila noong “colonial period?”
Ah, may teknikalidad pala sa batas na dapat ikonsidera. Krimen lamang na maituturing ang genocide kung ginawa ito matapos ang “Genocide Convention” noong 1948. Kaya sorry na lang sa mga de-kolor na nabiktima ng mga puti noong panahong inari nila’t pinaghahatian ang mundo.
Kung hindi man magbayad ng danyos perwisyo eh humingi man lang sana ng paumanhin ang mga puti sa mga pagpatay, pag-aabuso’t pangangamkam na ginawa nila sa mga bansang kanilang sinakop.
Pero imposibleng gawin nila iyon. Hindi kaylanman yuyuko ang mga puti sa mga taong ang balat ay de-kolor.
Nangangatwiran pa nga ang mga taong mapuputi ang kutis na kaya nila pinatay ang mga taong hindi nila kakulay sa mga bansang sinakop nila noon eh dahil sa ang mga ito’y lumaban. Aba eh natural na sila’y lumaban. Alangan namang inaalipin ka na’t ninanakawan at sinaktan pa’y hindi ka na lamang kikibo. At kung panangutin daw ang mga gobyernong kolonyal ng mga puting mananakop sa kung ano mang krimeng ginawa nila sa mga bansang sinakop nila eh hindi daw ba dapat ring bayaran naman sila sa mga ipinagawa nilang mga gusali, tulay at mga daan at sa pagbibigay ng edukasyon sa kanilang mga sinakop. Bakit? Wala ba silang naging pakinabang sa mga bansang sinakop nila? Hindi ba’t sapilitan naman nilang pinagtrabaho ang mga sinakop nilang taong itim o kayumanggi ang balat? Hindi ba’t ang mga likas na kayamanan ng mga bansang sinakop nila eh kinankam nila. Kulang na kulang pa na kabayaran kung tutuusin ang ano man ang mga ipinagawa nila.
Hindi kayang ibalik ng mga puti o walang halaga ng salapi na makakasapat upang kanilang ipambayad sa dignidad ng mga taong de-kolor ang balat na kanilang sinira’t niyurakan ng ang mga ito’y kanilang sakupin.
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Bakit ganun?
Sabi ng aking ina noong bata ako na balang araw ay maiintindihan ko din kung bakit hindi pwedeng umihi ang mga de-kolor sa ihian ng mga puti. Pero heto ako’t tumanda na at sobrang dami na mga nabasa ko sa libro… sa internet… eh hindi ko pa rin maintindihan.
Ano kaya ang isasagot ko sa aking anak halimbawa’t isang araw eh makita rin niya ang alin man sa mga larawang nakita ko? May paliwanag kaya akong maibibigay kung tatanungin niya ako kung bakit ang “drinking fountain” ng mga “white” ay hindi pwedeng gamitin ng mga “colored.”
Paano kaya kung sa Facebook o sa YouTube eh makita ng anak ko ang pamamaril ng mga puting pulis sa mga hindi armado at walang kalabang-labang mga taong kulay itim ang balat? Paano na kung makita niya kung paano niluhuran ng puting pulis na si Derek Chauvin ang leeg ng walang kalaban-labang de-kolor na si George Floyd hanggang sa ito’y mamatay?
Pwede kayang sabihin ko na lang kapag nagtanong siya na ang mundo’y parang batyang gustong solohin ng mga puti. Ayaw nilang makasama ang mga de-kolor, lalo na ang mga itim ang balat at baka sila ay mamantyahan.
Tutularan ko na lang siguro ang aking ina. Tatango na lamang ako’t ngingiti at sasabihin kong, “Balang araw anak eh maiintindihan mo kung bakit.”
