What Grandma Taught
(A Dramatic Monologue)
“Have you packed your things? It’s summertime and beginning tomorrow you’ll be staying with your grandma for a couple of months again.” That was my mother.
Oh my, it’s another summer devoid of excitement. For sure, I’l be like a bird again caged in our ancestral house in the province with my authoritarian grandma. In the military, soldiers obey first before complaining, with my grandma, ahhh, obey always…never complain. It’s back to the dark ages… no cellphone…no internet…but a lot of household chores and garden works.
A few minutes later, my father arrived from work. He went straight to the masters’ bedroom. I sensed trouble. Normally, upon arriving, he would lovingly buzz my mom’s cheek and demand from me the tightest of embrace.
“Mom, what’s the matter? I inquired. My mom shrugged her shoulders off and retorted, “I really don’t know. He’s probably tired. Come, let’s talk to him.”
My dad was lying on bed still on his business attire. He was blankly staring at the ceiling. My mom sat on the right side of the bed while I sat on the left. It took sometime before mom was able to convince dad to talk. What he said left both me and my mom dumbfounded. Dad told us that their company declared bankruptcy and he’s unemployed. Even at my young age I comprehended the implications of what he said.
When Mom regained composure she said, “Well, life has to go on. Find another job. In the meantime, our savings will get us through. “ My dad sat beside my mom. He embraced her and told her how sorry he was for not telling her that he used our savings to buy some stocks in the company, just like what the other employees did, hoping that it would save their company. But to no avail. My mom got mad, pushed my dad back and said, “How could you do that? Why didn’t you tell me? What will happen to us now?
Heated exchange of words ensued. My parents lost control, I could see my family slowly being torn apart right before my eyes. But that can’t be. I must do something. “Mom, dad, enough please. “ That was the first time I shouted at my parents. I was sorry but I had no choice. They stopped and stared at me. I just found myself taking their hand and asking them to hold each other’s hands as well. Then I told them that we will kneel together to pray. Hesitatingly they heeded my request. I led the prayer.
“Dear God, we’ve got a big problem. My father lost his job, but we still have each other. We lost our money, we may also lose this house eventually and all the comforts we are accustomed to. But I don’t care, what is important oh God is that I still have my dad, I still have my mom, and all of us are alive and healthy, and most of all we still have you. I believe so firmly what my grandma told me about you God, that You love us and that you will never abandon us, that in times of difficulties you would never fail us. This we pray humbly in the sweetest name of your Son Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.”
Silence engulfed the room after that. Then mom and dad tightly embraced me. They both apologized to me. After a while, I left the room. I felt they must talk things over.
I finally realized the wisdom in the things grandma did to me. Even if there were maids in our ancestral house, she would asked me to help in cleaning the house and the yard, she taught me to perform household chores. She taught me to responsibly spend money and live modestly. If ever my parents decide to let go our maids, well, I am ready. If I need to live a simple life until my father finds another job, no problem at all. My grandma taught me well.
I remember how grandma strictly enforced upon me to pray upon waking up in the morning, before sleeping at night, before meals and just about anytime. She kept telling me that praying is so important in life because everything else may fail, but never God’s love.
Funny, but I just got exited at the prospect of spending another summer with my grandma. I can’t wait to see her.
HALIK SA PISNGI
Hindi ko sinadya…
na labi ko’y dumampi
sa iyong pisngi.
Hay!
Parang bulak
Kay lambot
Kay bango… parang rosas.
At tuhod ko’y nanginig.
Katinua’y parang bula… naglaho.
Aking inulit.
Muli akong humalik.
Sa pisngi.
Paulit-ulit.
At labi ko’y naglakbay
hanggang sa labi mo’y dumantay.
Ika’y pumikit.
Nakangiti.
Hininga mo’y pigil.
Tila hinihintay ang muli kong paghalik.
At bago sana kita muling hagkan
kita’y masuyo munang pinagmasdan.
Nang krus sa kuwintas mo’y kuminang,
May batong sa budhi ko’y dumagan.
Di na kita muling mahagkan.
Takang-takang mata mo’y iminulat
Yumuko ako’t humingi ako ng tawad
At sa pisngi mong sa luha’y tigmak
Sa huling pagkakataon
Labi ko’y lumapat.
On To My Seventh Year in South Korea
(A Personal Essay)
This year (2019) marks my seventh year here in South Korea. I am forever grateful to God for this opportunity, to Gyeoungju University where I taught in 2013, and to Hanseo University where I have been teaching since 2014.
When I decided to accept a job offer from a university here in South Korean way back in 2013, I was ready mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually – and of course professionally. I majored in English and I am licensed teacher. I didn’t come here not knowing what to expect and what to do.
I calculated the benefits I and my family would get from my being employed here (in South Korea) and weighed them against the challenges and sacrifices I need to face and make. There’s no measuring scale to determine if getting all those benefits was worth all the difficulties and hardships I could be contending with and the fact that I would be away from the warm embrace of my wife and son.
Some of my friends and loved ones considered my move as risky personally and professionally. I had a flourishing career as a school administrator and I might start from scratch again should my working in South Korea not turn out well.
I was aware of such risks but I know how to play my cards well. What I consider as my strongest suits are my strong faith in myself and in God. I fully know what I am capable of doing and I know how amazing is God’s grace. I never doubted my abilities, more so His grace.
What made my resolve to work here strong (aside from the personal reasons I mentioned in an essay where I explained why I decided to work in this country) was when I read the contract sent to me after passing the interview. It indicated a working period that is approximately 60% less than what is required in the Philippines yet the pay is (approximately) 300% higher than my pay at that time. More than the salary though was the difference in the number of hours that I would be required to render work – 12 hours of teaching and 4 hours of office. I could use the extra 24 hours (on top of the weekend) to pursue my other interest – writing.
But the downside was – I was not used to being away from my loved ones. I was not used to not seeing my wife and my son for a very long period of time. I also couldn’t cook and I hated doing the laundry and cleaning the house.
I was also told that homesickness and boredom could kill me.
But the die has been cast. My resignation as principal of that school at that time was irrevocable and so was my decision to pursue a teaching career overseas. Even the tears of my wife could not drown my resolve to accept the job offer of Gyeongju university.
And here I am… on to my seventh year as an ESL teacher here in South Korea. There’s no trace of regrets whatsoever for the decision that I made in 2013 to come over. I can say that I have gained tremendous personal and professional growth since that time. True enough I was able to use the spare time to write not only stories, poems, and essays but research works as well. I had the studies I conducted presented in international conferences and published in “indexed” journals.
Now I am maintaining two websites – Hardpen’s Portfolio and Mukahang Poet – where I publish my works in both English and Filipino. Had I not worked here, I doubt if I could have written those studies I completed and created and maintained my two websites.
I also learned to cook and I have no choice but do my own laundry and house cleaning.
What about homesickness and boredom?
I am too busy with my work and my writings that I could not find time to be bored. And when I am not working or writing, I either go to the gym or hike in the mountain or watch movies and NBA games.
And why would I feel homesick when upon waking up in the morning I would call my wife, either through Facebook messenger or Skype, and we talk all day and night when I am not busy working and during weekends. Even if we have nothing more to talk about we don’t end the video chat. That way I could see her and my son moving around our home while I also do what I ought to be doing. I could hear them talking, my dogs barking, and our neighbors’ roosters crowing and hens clucking. Hearing all the sounds in our neighborhood that I got accustomed to make me feel as if I’m home.
Consider this – we have approximately a total of 5 months off between the two semesters. That allows me to visit my family in the Philippines after every 4 months and two weeks and stay with them for at least 40 days. I just have to make sure that I would be able to attend the spring and fall commencement exercises. We’re paid for 12 months in a year which means that even during semestral breaks we receive salaries. That’s a huge blessing.
For those considering ESL teaching in countries like South Korea, Japan, and China, you wouldn’t regret should you try. Just make sure that you really are qualified to teach. It is a disservice to the teaching profession should you assume that because you could speak English you could teach it even if you are not trained to be a teacher.
Ika’y Talinghaga
Ika’y pintig na sa puso ko’y tumibok
Lakas na sa mundo ko’y nagpapaikot
Ngunit ang ngiti mo sa akin ang dulot
Isang laksang saya’t labis-labis na lungkot
Ikaw ay kaligayahang dapat damhin
At pagsisising gumapang sa damdamin
Ika’y kayamanan kung aking ituring
At kabayarang dapat na balikatin
Amihan ka ngang ginhawa sa tag-init
Ngunit hanging sa gabi dulot ay lamig
Kandungan mo’y itinuturing kong langit
Bilangguan nang inaliping pag-ibig
Talinghaga kang mahirap na arukin
Palaisipang ‘di ko kayang sagutin
Magkaganun man ikaw ay mamahalin
Magpakaylan man ‘di kita lilimutin
Pangako mo ma’y mahirap panghawakan
Madali man sa iyo na ako’y iwanan
Ang mahalin mo kahit panandalian
Dulot ay ligayang walang katapusan
(Mula sa kantang “She” ni Elvis Costello)
On Education and What People Achieve and Become
For education to be meaningful, it should be holistic having as its ultimate goal the development of the whole person. Holistic education helps an individual to grow and develop in all dimensions: emotional, psychological, creative, social, imaginative, physical, intuitive, and spiritual as well as intellectual.1 The focus is on the acquisition of knowledge, skills, and values not for the sake of getting the best scores in standardized tests but to prepare them to engage in the real world. Holistic educators seek to engage students in their real life worlds to the greatest extent possible.2
Have the schools of the 21st century been approaching education holistically? Do they deliver the kind of education that enable their students to achieve their full potential? Are children in schools trained merely to be a worker in their chosen fields or prepared to take on the multi-layered challenges they have to contend with in real life?
Answering the foregoing questions definitively is difficult. The ones in the best position to answer them are the graduates themselves. It is only after a few years after completing schooling that people can really evaluate whether the education they receive is meaningful or otherwise.
In the process of evaluating the value of the education people received, the question they need to answer is – “What have they achieved and become through it?”
What education allow people to achieve determines only half the value (or even less) of that education. The other half (or even more) lie in what people become through it. It is not enough that people succeed in their chosen careers – either by being gainfully employed or by having a business of their own – to say that their education is meaningful. What have they become as persons needs to be examined as well.
Psychologists have identified the different aspects of personality as physical, emotional, social, moral/spiritual, and intellectual. It is all in these areas that the evaluation of the process of becoming should be anchored upon.
Tests such as Big Five Personality, HEXACO, Myers-Brigs Type Indicator and Core Self-evaluation can be used to determine the dominant personality traits a person has. In China they have their CPAI (Chinese Personality Assessment Inventory). These tests can somehow help people analyze what have they become (or what are they becoming).
There are only two ways to classify personality traits or characteristics – they are either positive or negative. The HEXACO model of personality structure, for instance, is very specific in describing people in the honesty-humility (H) dimension – sincere, honest, faithful, loyal, and modest/unassuming versus sly, deceitful, greedy, pretentious, hypocritical, boastful and pompous.
What people become can only be labeled in two ways as well – good or bad. There are no gray areas. Ethics (as a branch of Philosophy) established the clear guidelines in determining what is good and bad, right and wrong.
It is of paramount importance that education should not only help people prepare for a career but guide them into developing positive traits and right attitudes. A child is not only a future employee or businessman. When eventually a child becomes an adult, there are other roles he/she has to play in society – as a citizen, as a community member, as a fellowman, as a neighbor, as a friend, as a family member. Life is not all about work. The workplace is only a small part of the world where the child lives.
Achieving is the process of succeeding in one’s chosen career or business – of enjoying the fruits of one’s labor. Becoming is the process of developing into the best person one is capable of turning into – physically, emotionally, socially, morally/spiritually, and intellectually. The person a child becomes would directly impact the way he/she would perform in the workplace, community and society.
The process of achieving enables a person to have the means to earn a living. But earning a living is different from living a life. It is the process of becoming that empowers that person to live a life beyond work.
Education should be considered functional only if it succeeds in guiding the child in the processes of achieving and becoming.
_______________
* (1 & 2) Andrew P. Johnson, Ph.D. Minnesota State University, Mankato
andrew.johnson@mnsu.edu
How and Why I Love Teaching
How do I love teaching?
Let me count the years… thirty!
Yes, I have been a teacher for three decades now. I began my teaching career at a basic education institution in Bauan, Batangas (Philippines) in 1988 and served my 30th year in the academe at a university in South Korea. I will be returning to that same school for 2019 (and beyond… God willing) to continue my journey as a teacher.
Despite the not-so-good comments I heard about teaching as a profession when I was young, I embraced it and I don’t regret having done so.
It is both surprising and amusing how lowly teaching is regarded by some people. It is one of the least popular jobs anywhere in the world.
Parents in the culture where I grew up would tell their children graduating from high school to just take up an Education course and be a teacher once they find out that their children are of average intelligence.
To some professionals, teaching plays second fiddle. They would seek positions in the academe as teachers when in their chosen fields they could not get job offers. Many native speakers of English who had difficulty finding jobs in their own countries are working as ESL teachers in countries like Japan, China, and South Korea. Luckily for some of them, even if they are not graduates of Education courses or are not trained as teachers, there are schools who would hire them only because they are native speakers of English. I consider this a disservice to the teaching profession.
I love teaching and I do take my job as a teacher seriously. I sought employment in the academe upon completion of my bachelor’s degree knowing that I am qualified to be a teacher. I became a teacher not because I have no other choice. I became one by choice.
I know that teaching as a profession requires a lot and I made sure I am apt to the task. I went to graduate school, attended conferences and seminars, took certificate courses (like TESOL), and studied by myself the application of technology to education. I also keep reading books and journals related to both my subject area and pedagogy. All of the aforementioned I did (am doing) in order to ensure that I could cope up with the demands of the profession and to give nothing but the best to my students. This is my way of respecting my profession as a teacher.
Why do I love teaching?
Search for the 25 best-paying jobs (or make that 50… or 100) and it’s very unlikely that teaching is included. This is what makes the teacher’s job not-so appealing. Teachers get paid low and on top of that – they are overworked. They work way beyond office hours. Such is the reality that I fully accepted. I never whined about it.
But for me, it’s never been the pay. It’s the happiness and the sense of fulfillment that teaching gave me. That’s what I love about this profession.
I enjoy doing the things that teaching requires me to do. Teachers need to read and write a lot. And those are my hobbies. Teachers have to do a lot of talking and leading and I so happen to love public speaking. I love the feeling of being in front of people… talking to them, making them laugh, and leading them to action.
Teaching allowed me do the things I love doing. It actually honed my skills and improved my knowledge in the areas where I could excel. It developed in me values that guide me both personally and professionally. It challenged me to strive for excellence and pushed me beyond my abilities. It made me believe in myself and it strengthened my faith in God as well.
As Jim Rohn said, “True happiness is not contained in what you get, happiness is contained in what you become.”
What I have become because of teaching is just amazing.
And the rewards for becoming what I have become are equally amazing.
The rewards – both intrinsic and extrinsic – are just awesome.
Don’t tell me that teaching is not financially rewarding. Teachers can be paid handsomely if they play their cards well and push the right buttons. It’s a matter of how they handle their career in the academe, how they build up their reputation, and what stuffs do they have in their professional portfolios.
Here is my advise to teachers like me, most especially to the young ones – don’t teach for the money. Become first what you ought to become. Be the best teacher you could be. Don’t be contended with your Bachelor’s degree. Aspire to have a doctorate. Attend all the seminars and training you could attend. Be certified in your field. Invest on yourself… not on gadgets and other material possessions. Plan well your career in the academe and make the right decisions.
If teachers would love their job and treat it with utmost respect, they will get the rewards they richly deserve.
Ugali
Iba’t-ibang tao, iba’t-iba ang ugali. May ugaling maganda, at syempre may pangit din.
Kung may mapagbigay ay meron ding madamot. May masipag at meron din naman nuknukan ng tamad. May mga taong mabuti na ayaw gumawa ng ano mang bagay na nakakasakit sa kapwa-tao at meron namang ang makapanakit ang hanap. May mga taong ang nais ay tumulong, ang mai-angat ang moral at dignidad ng kapwa nila. Sa kabilang banda, may mga taong mapanira at mapanakit na ang nais ay guluhin ang buhay ng mga taong kinaiinisan o dili kaya’y kina-iinggitan nila. May mga taong ang bisyo ay hanapin ang kapintasan ng iba upang ito’y pag-usapan at pagtawanan. May mga taong mapagsamantala sa kahinaan ng iba at merong ubod ng yabang.
Saan ka, saan ako, saan tayo nabibilang na uri ng tao? Anong ugali tayo meron? Bulayi’t pag-isipan natin.
Minsan kasi sobra ang pagkilala natin sa ating mga sarili. Tingin natin ay tayo na ang pinakamagaling. Kung minsan kung makapang-hamak tayo ay para walang bahid ng kapintasan ang ating pagkatao. Kung makapang-lait tayo eh akala natin perpekto tayo. Napaka-ganda at gwapo ba natin. Napa-kaseksi at kisig ba natin. Manalamin kaya tayo at baka makita natin na ang hugis at itsura natin ay kalait-lait din.
O sige perpekto na ang hitsura natin ang tanong eh kumusta naman ang ating ugali.
O heto, unawain mo!
Tumalino ka lang ng kaunti, eh bobo na ang tingin mo sa lahat. Bakit? Kasing-talino ka ba ni Albert Einstein? Gumaling ka lang mag-English eh feeling mo genius ka na. Porke magaling ka sa grammar eh kung makapanglait ka ng kapwa mong hindi magaling sa English eh wagas.
Tumangkad ka lang ng kaunti eh bansot na ang lahat ng nakapaligid sa iyo. Bukod ba sa tangkad ano pang meron ka? Baka naman iyan lang ang maituturing na asset mo. At saan mo naman nagamit ang katangkaran mo at masyado mong ipinagyayabang.
Ang problema minsan may mga bansot na hindi nila alam na bansot sila. At may mga bansot naman na sobrang tangkad ang tingin sa sarili.
Pumuti ka lang ng kaunti sa tulong ng glutathione…pinatangos lang ni “Belo” ang ilong mo at binanat ang balat mo eh feeling mo artista ka na. Kumukupas ang ganda at kakisigan. Kumukulubot ang balat. Ang pekeng kaputian ay nabubura kapag isang araw na mainit ay nakalimutan mong magdala ng payong at wala kang masisilungan.
Nagkapera ka lang eh parang “aliping saguiguilid” at “aliping namamahay” na ang tingin mo sa kapwa mo. Hindi ka dugong maharlika! Hindi na panahon ng mga Kastila. H’wag mo laging ipangalandakan na ikaw ay mayaman…na may mga relo at alahas kang mamahalin…na napakarami mong mamahaling mga bag, sapatos at damit…na nakarating ka na dito at doon. Yabang ang tawag d’yan. Kahambugan. “Hubris.” At sana lang eh hindi galing sa pagnanakaw ang perang ipinagyayabang mo. Huwag mo ring kalimutan na gaano ka man kayaman eh katulad din ng iba na ikaw ay tatanda at darating at darating ang oras na sasakabilang buhay ka at ni singko eh hindi mo doon madadala.
Tandaan mo, hindi ka araw at mga tao sa paligid mo ay mga planeta na ang buhay ay iikot sa iyo.
Mayroong mga taong nagbibigay ng kusang-loob. Bukal sa kanilang kalooban ang tumulong at magbigay, walang hinihintay na ano mang kapalit. May mga tao namang tumutulong at nagbibigay upang ikaw ay may tanawing kang utang na loob. Sa bangdang huli ikaw ay kanilang bibilangan at susumbatan.
Pero kung may ganyang ugali ang ibang tao ay tiyak na may taglay din silang kabutihan. Wala kasing isinilang na perpekto. May mabuti at may masama. Sa katotohanan ay ang tao ay parehong mabuti at masama. Ang sino mang tao ay may mga katangiang maganda at meron ding taglay na kagaspangan. Depende na lang kung ano ang mas nangingibabaw sa kanya at kung ano ang pipiliin n’yang ipakita.
Ganyan ang mga kaybigan natin at mga mahal sa buhay…hindi perpekto. Maging ang mga kapit-bahay natin, ang mga kasamahan sa trabaho at mga taong nasasalubong natin sa daan. Hindi rin sila perpekto.
H’wag mong iisipin na ang mga taong hindi nagsisimba (o sumasamba) ay mga walanghiya at walang takot sa Diyos. Sino ka para husgahan sila. Kahit ang mga halos ay matulog na sa simbahan (o sa kapilya) ay hindi rin perpektong mga tao. Kahit nga mga taong simbahan mismo eh…mga pari at madre…ay mag mga kapintasan din. Tao din lang sila, katulad mo, katulad ko. Taong maaring mahilig rin sa tsimis, o baka traydor, o baka mapag-imbabaw. O makasalanan na katulad ng karamihan sa atin.
Hindi sukatan ng kabutihan ng tao ang hawak n’yang bibliya o rosaryo, o sa suot n’yang abito o belo. Hindi lahat ng nagsisimba o aktibo sa gawaing-simbahan at lagi pang gumagamit ng salita ng Diyos ay banal. Sinusukat ang kabutihan sa mga salitang namumutawi sa bibig ng tao, sa mga ginagawa n’ya, sa kung papaano n’ya tratuhin ang kapwa-tao at sa mga iniisip n’ya.
Kahit saan ay may mga taong mabuti at masama. Kahit saan ay makakakita tayo ng mabuting ugali o dili kaya ng kagaspangan. H’wag nating talikuran ang mga kaybigan nati’t mga mahal sa buhay na hindi natin nagugustuhan ang ugali, dahil tayo man ay katulad din lang nila, hindi perpekto. Walang perpekto. Lahat ay may bahid-dungis, lahat may kapintasan, lahat ay nagkakasala. Tanggapin natin sila’t tulungang magbago katulad nang pagtanggap nila sa atin at pagtulong na tayo’y magbago.
H’wag mong asahan na ang kapit-bahay mo, o kasama sa trabaho, o ang masasalubong mo sa daan ay mga taong walang bahid dungis. Madi-disappoint ka sigurado. May mga kapintasan sila, katulad mo rin, katulad ko.
H’wag kang mangarap na makatagpo ka ng magulang, anak, asawa, kasintahan, kamag-anak o kaybigan na perpekto, na walang masamang ugali dahil ikaw man, aminin mo man o hindi, ay may masama ka ring ugali… may topak ka din pagkaminsan, o baka nga madalas eh. H’wag mo nang pansinin, kainisan o pagtawanan ang kakulangan nila dahil kapag humarap ka sa salamin at pagmasdan mo ng mabuti ang sarili mo ay t’yak may kapansin-pansin, nakaka-inis at nakatawa din na bahagi ng katawan o pagkatao mo.
H’wag nang pangaraping mababago natin ang ugali ng mga tao sa paligid natin. Imposibleng mangyari iyon. Ang pangarapin at pagsikapang gawin na lang sana ng bawat isa sa atin ay baguhin ang sa palagay natin ay magaspang na bahagi ng ating pagkatao.
M.A.D. LIGAYA
M.A.D. L I G A Y A 