Category Archives: Better Self… Better Life…Better Nation
Staying Focused
Focus does not mean refusing to change direction—it means refusing to lose sight of your destination.
During my third rejection from a Middle Eastern university, I overheard a panelist say that I could not be considered because I lacked a TESOL certificate.
I was deeply disappointed. I had a bachelor’s degree in English, a master’s degree in Education, and a PhD in Educational Management. I had also completed most of the academic requirements for a master’s degree in English but had been unable to finish the thesis. Added to these qualifications were more than twenty years of teaching experience.
Surely, I thought, all of that should compensate for one missing certificate.
But it did not. The university had a policy: applicants without TESOL certification could not be hired. Whatever the panelists may have thought of my other qualifications, their hands were bound by that requirement.
I could have treated the rejection as proof that overseas teaching was not meant for me. I could have complained that the policy failed to recognize my education and experience. Perhaps I even had legitimate reasons to question it. But neither disappointment nor argument would give me the qualification I lacked.
So I asked myself a more useful question: What can I do next?
I enrolled in a TESOL program and earned the certificate.
That decision taught me something important about staying focused. Focus is sometimes mistaken for stubbornly following one plan. But genuine focus distinguishes between the goal and the route. My goal—to teach overseas—remained unchanged. The route toward it had to be adjusted.
Eventually, I secured a university teaching position in South Korea. The earlier rejections had not ended my journey. One of them had identified a gap I needed to close.
This is why setbacks should be examined before they are accepted as verdicts. Some criticism is unfair and should not control us. But some negative feedback contains useful information. Focus allows us to separate the pain of hearing it from the value of what it may reveal.
Staying focused has become increasingly difficult in a world full of competing goals, constant notifications, and attractive alternatives. Yet distraction does not come only from technology. Even worthwhile activities can pull us away from what matters most. A person can remain extremely busy while making little progress toward the goal that matters.
Focus therefore requires deliberate choices. We must decide what deserves our attention now, protect time for it, and temporarily say no—even to good opportunities that compete with a greater priority.
You do not have to cling to your original method. You may need another qualification, a different strategy, or a longer route than you anticipated.
Change the plan when necessary—but keep your eyes on the destination.
Pause and Reflect
What goal have you nearly abandoned because your original approach did not work?
What useful information might be hidden inside a rejection or criticism you received?
One Step Forward
Choose one important goal. Write down the single obstacle presently blocking it, then identify one concrete action you can take this week to address that obstacle.
Explored more fully in Chapter 9 — “Staying Focused” of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Efficient Time Management
Time management is not about finding more hours—it is about deciding,
deliberately, what your available hours are for.
“If I had some extra time, I could make some extra money.” Jim Rohn’s answer: Forget it. There is no extra time.
Every person receives the same number of chronological hours: 24 each day and 168 each week. However, not everyone has equal freedom over those hours. Work demands, caregiving responsibilities, health conditions, financial circumstances, and long commutes can consume much of a person’s time before any personal choice is made.
Efficient time management does not deny those realities. It asks a more practical question: Within the time I can influence, am I using it for what matters most?
Jim Rohn once recalled a man telling him, “If I had some extra time, I could make some extra money.” Rohn replied that there was no extra time. When midnight arrives, the day is over. Whatever we hope to accomplish must be attempted within the time already available to us.
Laura Vanderkam’s 168-hour framework makes this easier to see. A person who works 40 hours a week and sleeps eight hours each night uses 96 hours, leaving 72. Those remaining hours are not automatically “free”—meals, commuting, household tasks, caregiving, exercise, and rest must come from them. Still, looking at an entire week often reveals possibilities that are hard to notice when we focus on one crowded day at a time.
Benjamin Franklin designed his daily schedule around purposeful blocks of activity. At the beginning of the day, he asked, “What good shall I do this day?” At night, he reflected, “What good have I done today?” His schedule was not merely about filling every hour with work. It connected time use with intention.
Franklin also admitted that maintaining perfect order was difficult. That matters because efficient time management does not mean rigidly controlling every minute. A schedule must guide us without becoming a prison.
Researchers Brad Aeon and colleagues describe time management through three related practices: structuring, protecting, and adapting time. We structure time by creating routines and assigning activities to appropriate periods. We protect it by setting boundaries and declining demands that interfere with important priorities. We adapt it when circumstances change and our original plans are no longer realistic.
Before improving how you use time, however, you must first discover how you are using it now. Memory is unreliable; a written record is much harder to argue with.
A time audit may reveal obvious waste, but it may also reveal something kinder: perhaps you are not lazy or undisciplined at all—perhaps you are carrying more responsibilities than you realized. Either discovery is useful because effective time management begins with truth, not guilt.
You cannot create extra time. But you can become more deliberate with the time that is genuinely yours to direct.
Pause and Reflect
If you recorded every hour for three days, what do you think you would discover about where your time actually goes?
Which activity deserves more of your available time—and which one deserves less?
One Step Forward
For the next three days, record how you use each hour. Mark every entry as essential, useful, restorative, or wasteful. At the end, identify one hour you can use more deliberately.
Explored more fully in Chapter 8 — “Efficient Time Management” of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Competence Framework: Skills and Abilities
Belief alone is not enough — without the skills to act on it, powerful
convictions produce nothing but inspired inaction.
Your value system is the engine. Your competence framework is the transmission.
In the previous section, we explored the attitudes and beliefs that form the foundation of any meaningful self-improvement journey. Together, they form a value system strong enough to carry you through whatever challenges lie ahead. But a solid foundation alone is not enough. What you build on top of it matters just as much.
Think of it this way: your value system is the engine. Your competence framework is the transmission. Without the engine, there is no power. But without the transmission, that power never reaches the wheels. You need both, working together, to move.
Seven skills consistently appear in the profiles of those who succeed, and their absence consistently explains why others fall short: efficient time management, staying focused, thinking first, purposeful decision-making, effective communication, creating work-life balance, and — the capstone of them all — conquering self-doubt. You can manage your time flawlessly and communicate brilliantly, but if self-doubt runs unchecked, none of those other skills will ever reach their full potential.
I did not arrive in South Korea fully formed as a high performer. The move itself was an act of faith, and what followed required deliberate development of each of these seven skills. I had to manage my time more carefully than ever before, balancing teaching, advising, research, and writing. I had to stay focused on long-term goals even when the novelty of a new country made distraction effortless. I had to think carefully before speaking in a professional culture different from my own.
I had to communicate across language and cultural barriers with students, colleagues, and administrators. I had to protect my personal time and my connection with family back home, so I could sustain performance over years rather than burn out in months. And I had to conquer the recurring self-doubt that whispered: Who do you think you are, writing books, presenting research, building something new? None of these skills came naturally. They were built — through practice, failure, and reflection.
Pause and Reflect
Which of the seven skills — time management, focus, thinking first, decision-making, communication, work-life balance, or conquering self-doubt — do you most need to build right now?
One Step Forward
Pick the one skill you’re weakest in. Write one small, specific way you’ll practice it this week.
Explored in full in Part 2, Competence Framework of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Purpose-Driven
Purpose does not make every hardship bearable—but it gives us a compelling reason to endure
hardship that serves something deeply important.
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
This statement, commonly attributed from Friedrich Nietzsche, expresses a truth that many people discover while pursuing difficult goals: purpose is not a decoration placed on top of ambition. It is the foundation beneath it.
Ambition tells us what we want to achieve. Purpose tells us why achieving it matters.
Marie Curie became the first person to receive two Nobel Prizes and remains the only individual awarded Nobel Prizes in two different scientific categories. She pursued her scientific work in an era when women faced formidable barriers in education and science. Her devotion to investigating radioactivity did not remove those barriers, but it gave her a reason to continue working despite them.
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison for his struggle against apartheid. Imprisonment deprived him of freedom, separated him from his family, and subjected him to years of hardship. Yet the democratic and nonracial South Africa he envisioned remained larger than his immediate suffering. His purpose did not make prison painless, but it helped prevent imprisonment from becoming the end of his mission.
Purpose does something motivation alone cannot reliably do: it can remain when enthusiasm disappears.
Motivation often rises when progress is visible, recognition is received, or success appears close. It can weaken when work becomes repetitive, rewards are delayed, and setbacks accumulate. Purpose reaches deeper because it reconnects the effort with the reason the effort began.
However, being purpose-driven does not mean stubbornly pursuing every goal forever. Sometimes circumstances change. Sometimes the method is ineffective, or the goal itself no longer reflects who we are becoming. Purpose allows us to change the route without abandoning the destination. It helps us distinguish between an obstacle that must be endured and a warning that requires us to reconsider our direction.
A goal without a meaningful reason behind it is fragile. Once inconvenience outweighs excitement, it becomes easy to surrender. A goal anchored in purpose is more resilient because the work serves something beyond immediate comfort, praise, or reward.
Your purpose does not need to impress the world. It may be caring for your family, educating young people, creating something meaningful, serving God, improving your community, or becoming capable of helping others. What matters is that it is genuinely yours—and important enough to influence how you use your time, abilities, and life.
When the path becomes difficult, purpose does not promise that you will never become tired.
It reminds you why resting is different from quitting.
Pause and Reflect
What meaningful purpose lies beneath one of your most important goals?
Would you still consider that goal worthwhile if recognition and immediate rewards were delayed?
One Step Forward
Complete this sentence: “I am pursuing __________ because __________.” Read your answer, then take one small action today that serves that reason.
Explored more fully in Part 2 — Section I — Chapter 7, “Purpose-Driven,” of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Adaptive Mindset
An adaptive mindset isn’t about being naturally flexible — it’s the deliberate willingness to say,
“I don’t know this yet, but I will learn it.”
When my university announced all classes were going online overnight, I had one problem: I’d never taught online in my life.
When my university announced, with almost no warning, that all classes would move online indefinitely, I was immediately aware of my limitation: I had never taught a single minute online in my career. I am not naturally tech-savvy. The shift felt like being asked to play an entirely different game with rules I did not know.
But I knew I had to adapt, or perish professionally. So I attended every training session offered. I learned the university’s E-Class platform. I mastered video conferencing software I’d never touched before. I began producing lecture videos for my students. Within weeks, I had not only adapted — I’d found new ways to engage students that I’d never explored in a traditional classroom.
Some of my colleagues could not make that same adjustment. Rather than continue struggling in an environment that had changed beyond their comfort, several chose to resign. The difference between us was not technical ability. It was mindset. The willingness to say: I do not know this yet — but I will learn it. That is an adaptive mindset in action.
Charles Darwin’s theory of adaptation offers the clearest parallel: species that adapt to changing conditions survive; those that cannot, perish. The same principle governs human beings in a rapidly changing world. Satya Nadella took over a Microsoft many considered to be losing its edge, and rather than defend the old way of doing things, replaced a culture of “know-it-alls” with a culture of “learn-it-alls” — growing the company’s value from $300 billion to over $2 trillion.
Your mindset is not fixed. The default responses you rely on were programmed over years by family, culture, and experience — and they can be reprogrammed with awareness and deliberate practice. Build self-awareness through daily reflection. Name your negative inclinations specifically, so they lose their power to operate invisibly. And seek out discomfort on purpose — an adaptive mindset is built in friction, not in comfort.
Pause and Reflect
What’s one skill you’ve been avoiding learning, telling yourself it’s simply “not who you are”?
One Step Forward
Name one negative reflex you have under pressure. Write down the adaptive response you’ll try the next time it happens.
Explored more fully in Part 2 — Section I — Chapter 6, “Proper Perspective,” of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Proper Perspective
Perspective does not change your circumstances—it changes what you are able to see within
them and, therefore, what you are able to do about them.
A friend of mine is often mistaken for me. When he asked, half-offended, “Do I look as old as you?” I told him, “No—I look as young and handsome as you.”
My friend and I teach at the same university. We have similar builds and similarly rounded faces, so people occasionally mistake him for me.
One day, visibly bemused, he asked, “Why would they think I am you? Do I look as old as you?”
I paused, smiled, and replied, “No. I look as young and handsome as you.”
As he laughed, I realized that our contrasting reactions to the same situation illustrated perspective in miniature. He initially viewed the comparison as an unfavorable comment about his age. I treated it as a flattering comment about mine. Nothing about the situation changed—only the position from which we viewed it.
Proper perspective, however, does not mean forcing every unpleasant experience into a cheerful interpretation. It means looking at something truthfully, completely, and proportionately. A negative interpretation can be as incomplete as an unrealistically positive one. Sometimes we stand too close to a problem and allow one unpleasant detail to fill our entire field of vision.
I once spoke with a colleague who was frustrated about his salary as an expatriate university teacher. He compared his annual income with that of a truck driver back home and concluded that the driver was better compensated.
His dissatisfaction may have been legitimate, but the comparison was incomplete. I asked him to consider the driver’s actual working hours, physical demands, time spent away from home, and working conditions. We then considered the teacher’s lighter schedule and extended periods away from the classroom while continuing to receive a regular salary. Once those factors were included, the comparison became far less straightforward.
The purpose was not to tell him that he had no right to want better compensation. It was to help him evaluate his situation using the whole picture rather than one number.
Viktor Frankl wrote about preserving an inner freedom even amid circumstances of unimaginable cruelty. His reflections did not deny suffering or pretend that pain was good. They recognized that when a situation could no longer be changed, a person could still decide how to respond to it. As he wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Sometimes proper perspective reveals a hidden advantage. Sometimes it exposes a genuine injustice that must be addressed. In either case, it helps us respond more wisely because we are no longer reacting to only one fragment of reality.
Perspective does not erase the problem. It brings the rest of the picture into view.
Pause and Reflect
What frustration in your life might look different if you stepped back and examined the fuller picture?
Are you overlooking facts that challenge your present interpretation?
One Step Forward
Choose one situation bothering you today. Write down your current interpretation, then list two relevant facts you may have overlooked. Revise your interpretation only if the fuller evidence justifies it.
Explored more fully in Part 2 — Section I — Chapter 5, “Proper Perspective,” of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Positive Thinking
Positive thinking does not deny what is difficult—it trains the mind to recognize
possibilities and choose a constructive response.
Is positive thinking merely wishful thinking with better marketing?
Few ideas in self-improvement generate as much debate as positive thinking. Some present it as the secret to achieving almost anything. Others dismiss it as motivational language with little connection to reality.
Both views miss the point.
Positive thinking does not mean closing your eyes to hardship, suppressing painful emotions, or assuming that everything will turn out exactly as you want. That is not optimism; it is denial. Positive thinking begins by seeing reality clearly and then asking, “What helpful response remains available to me?”
An intriguing study offers evidence that our habitual emotional outlook may matter. Researchers examined autobiographies written decades earlier by 180 Catholic sisters, whose average age at the time of writing was twenty-two. The researchers evaluated the positive emotional content of those accounts and compared it with the sisters’ longevity between the ages of seventy-five and ninety-five.
The sisters whose writings expressed more positive emotions tended to live longer than those whose writings contained fewer. The study did not prove that positive thinking alone caused a longer life. Many factors influence longevity. Nevertheless, it revealed a strong association between an early pattern of positive emotional expression and survival many decades later.
But positive thinking is valuable not only because it may affect well-being. It influences what we notice, what we attempt, and how long we persist.
A pessimistic mind encounters one rejection and declares, “This always happens to me. Nothing will ever change.” A constructive mind acknowledges the same rejection but responds differently: “This attempt failed. What can I learn, improve, or try next?”
The second response does not guarantee success. It does something more realistic: it keeps the door to action open.
You can develop this way of thinking. Begin by listening to the explanations you give yourself when something goes wrong. Do you describe one setback as permanent? Do you allow one failure to define your entire life? Do you treat every disappointment as proof that something is fundamentally wrong with you?
Challenge those conclusions. A setback may be painful without being permanent. One problem may affect part of your life without ruining all of it. You may not control the situation, but you can still influence your preparation, choices, attitude, and next response.
Positive thinking is therefore neither magic nor passive wishing. It is the disciplined refusal to let difficulty have the final word. It does not merely say, “Something good will happen.”
It asks, “What good can I still do?”
Pause and Reflect
When was the last time you expected the worst before anything had actually happened?
How did that expectation influence what you did—or failed to do?
One Step Forward
Write down one situation that is causing you anxiety. Separate what you cannot control from what you can influence. Then write one constructive action you can take today.
Explored more fully in Part 2 — Section I — Chapter 4, “Positive Thinking,” of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
M.A.D. L I G A Y A 