Category Archives: Self-reliance

Betting on Ourselves

I have a section on my website that I christened “Road to Self-Improvement.” That section was born of my advocacy for self-improvement — and it is where the idea of writing a book on the subject first took shape. But the advocacy itself is older than the website, older than the book. It started years ago, when a friend asked me a simple question: what is the best national development framework for the Philippines?

I told him this — for the Philippines to develop as a nation, Filipinos need to abandon the mindset that a messiah will come to save our country from the socio-political and economic quicksand where we are currently drowning. We think we can pin our hopes for a better future, a better life, on a leader or politician we believe in and support — most of the time, blindly. And yet whoever we elect to the seats of the Executive and Legislative branches has consistently failed to move the needle of progress and peace.

So what, then, is the framework? I believe it begins smaller than any election, smaller than any administration — it begins with the individual. If every Filipino embraces self-improvement and pursues their full potential, they can grow in every aspect of life: mind, character, discipline, livelihood, health. When that happens, they succeed — and with that success comes the capacity to lift not only themselves, but the families they belong to. When every Filipino and every family commit, simply and consistently, to becoming better, imagine what their community becomes. And if every community in our towns, cities, and provinces reflects that same commitment, we will have built — not waited for, not voted for, but built — a stronger Philippine society. A stronger Filipino nation.

It is time for Filipinos to abandon the mindset that we can pin our hopes on a strong politician or leader — a messiah, a savior. Every Filipino should pin their hopes on themselves. We must bet on ourselves, not on someone who promises us the moon and the stars during an election. Betting on a leader to single-handedly bring our nation to paradise is like betting on a lottery with 45 numbers to choose from — your odds of winning are 1 in more than 8,000,000. It’s like fishing for one single fish in a fishing area the size of the entire Pacific Ocean.

One need not look far for proof. As I write this, the nation watches its vice president stand trial for corruption and misuse of public funds, while senators allied with one camp or another are arrested, disappear, or resurface depending on which side of a political feud they happen to stand. Officials once inseparable allies now accuse each other of the very crimes they once campaigned to eradicate together. This is not an aberration — it is the lottery working exactly as it always has: fortunes made and unmade not by the merit of public service, but by the shifting arithmetic of political alliances. Whoever wins this particular round of the game, the game itself remains what it has always been — a gamble the ordinary Filipino never gets to place a real bet in, only to watch.

Betting on ourselves, on the other hand, is not a bet on chance at all — it is a commitment to effort, and effort is not drawn from a bin of eight million balls where luck alone decides the outcome. When a Filipino bets on a leader, he marks a ballot once, then waits — powerless, passive — for a stranger’s decisions to shape his future. When a Filipino bets on himself, there is no waiting and no ballot box; there is only the next skill learned, the next hour of work invested, the next discipline practiced. These are not draws from a lottery machine — they are deposits, and, like any deposit made consistently, they compound. A leader may fail to deliver even after winning every vote in his favor; a Filipino who invests in his own competence, character, and resilience cannot be defrauded of that investment by any politician, any administration, or any election cycle.

This is exactly the mechanism by which one Filipino’s discipline becomes a family’s stability, a family’s stability becomes a community’s strength, and a community’s strength becomes a nation’s foundation. No leader can legislate that chain into existence. No election can manufacture it overnight. It has to be built — person by person, family by family, town by town — and the beauty of it is that, unlike the lottery of politics, every single one of us holds a winning ticket the moment we decide to act on it.

This is the difference between hoping for a miracle and building one. It is why I stopped asking, years ago, who will save our nation — and started asking instead what I myself was willing to build. That question became a website section. It became years of writing. It eventually became a book. But long before it became any of those things, it was simply a decision — the same decision I believe every Filipino is capable of making, the same decision that, multiplied across a hundred million of us, could move the needle that a hundred years of elections never did.

We do not need a messiah. We need each other, choosing, one by one, to bet on ourselves.

Your Blame List

The last time we came to work late, was it the traffic or the weather that we blamed? Or was it  the alarm clock’s fault for it didn’t go off? Ahh, the battery of the cellphone went dead.

When we had a break-up with a lover (or a major falling out with a friend), who did we blame? Ourselves or the other party?

Whenever something goes wrong, seldom or  rarely (or is it never?) do we hold ourselves responsible for it. We always point our finger at something or hold others accountable. When things don’t turn the way we expect them to, we are always ready to check our blame list  to find somebody or something to put the liability on.

This reminds me of one of the narratives of Jim Rohn.*  He said that one day he was asked by his mentor Earl Shoaff, “Jim just out of curiosity tell me how come you haven’t done well up until now?” What Mr. Rohn did, according to him, for him not to look too bad,  was read on his list of why he wasn’t looking good and not doing well. He blamed, among other things,  the government, weather, traffic, company policies, negative relatives, cynical neighbors, economy,  and community.

What about our personal blame lists? Is it as long Mr. Rohn’s. Perhaps it’s longer.

Who do people who could not find jobs blame? Of course the favorite whipping boy – the government. They contend that it is the duty of the government to create job opportunities for them. That is true. But work is something that is not going to be awarded to anybody on a silver platter. We have to search for it and we ought to be prepared. It is our responsibility to get ourselves ready for employment. Get the required education or training. We need to have the necessary knowledge and skills.

What if you could not get the education and training you need? Well, whose fault? Okay, I will give you time to check your blame list.

Done?

Now let’s continue.

Common sense will tell us that the government cannot possibly provide each citizen with a job. It is also impossible for the private sector to employ everybody. That’s just the reality. Harsh it may be. So, what should we do? Simple – be competitive. Be the best in your field or profession. The best ones are always on top of the priority lists of prospective employers. And if in our respective countries there are no job opportunities, or we won’t get the salary we want, let’s consider applying for work overseas. If you’re not satisfied where you are, go somewhere else.

“You can always move out from where you are now to find yourselves better opportunities. You’re not a tree.” That’s also from Mr. Rohn.

The ones who won’t  get employed, or do not want to work for others because they have better plans for themselves, could perhaps succeed as entrepreneurs. Not everybody is trained to be in a workplace and be someone else’s employee. Some of us will be farmers, or fishermen, or plumbers, or drivers, or gardeners. There is always a way to earn an honest living.  Whatever it is that we find as a source of livelihood, let’s us be thankful.

Accept the reality that some are rich and some are poor. And hey, don’t blame the rich if they don’t want to help the poor. Don’t blame your rich siblings, friends, and neighbors if they don’t share with you their blessings. It’s either you work as hard as they did for you to have what they have or be content with what you are capable of having.

Just bear in mind that each of us has a choice to A – Be rich; B – Have the means to meet both ends and at least get extra cash to afford some luxuries in life; or C – Have 3 square meals a day. Yes, I consider A, B and C as choices. It’s up to us to decide what to aim at… which of the three would make us happy.

Some people live simple lives happy to be able to eat three times a day. Some set their ceilings high and sometimes even go through it. Each of us has a chance at A. Nobody would prevent us from wanting to become rich. But becoming that won’t be easy… unless you win millions in the lottery.

There are two ways to go (and robbing a bank is not one of them) for those who would aim at A – hope that you hit that lotto jackpot or work as hard and wisely as those who became millionaires and billionaires did.

And when you fail to be so… when you fail to achieve your dreams and realize your goals… blame no one.

People who suffer from setbacks and face adversities would more often than not blame their friends or family members – parents, siblings, children, spouses –  citing lack of support. Let’s not forget that support is something that is given voluntarily. It is not an entitlement. We could say that it is the obligation of our loved ones to help us. But what if they are not capable of helping for just like us they also need help or they also have problems of their own?

Or what if they have the capacity to support but they won’t?  That would bring us to another “don’t” aside from don’t blame. That is don’t expect. If we get support in the pursuit of our dreams and goals we should be thankful. If not, our fight goes on. It’s not the end of the world. We should always be ready to fight our battles alone.

And please, let’s not blame our parents also if we are not doing well in life. Let’s not accuse them of not paving the way for us and ensure that rolled in our paths to better lives  is a red carpet. Whatever kind of parents we have (or had) – good or bad – they ceased to be in control of us and our future the moment we became capable of deciding for ourselves. The question is, “What did we do when we sat in the driver’s seat of our lives?” Did we do everything we could to ensure that we succeed in our endeavors? Or did we expect that success is like the manna that fell from heaven which the Israelites in the Exodus just freely picked up?

Remember the narrative of Mr. Rohn? It did not end after he made a litany of the reasons why he was not succeeding and who and what should be blamed for that. Mr. Shoaff patiently listened to him and at the end said the following, “Mr. Rohn, the problem with your list is you ain’t on it!”

Before Mr. Rohn decided to work for Mr. Shoaff, he tore off his old blame list and replaced it with a new one where he wrote the only reason for not doing good in life – “ME.”

Now, let’s  review our personal blame lists? Are we included on it? Or we automatically assign fault to something or someone for the misfortunes and failures that befall us?

Something that we should understand and accept  is whatever we have become, wherever we are in the socio-economic pyramid, and whatever we have and don’t have,  are the results of all the decisions we made. Others may disagree but I believe that our destiny is the sum total of all our decisions and indecisions.

We disagree in our interpretation of destiny. Theists believe that whatever happens to us is the will of a supreme being. I also believe that God exists but I think that we chart our own destiny. He gave us the gift of volition so we could have the dignity to decide for ourselves.

So, if we are not succeeding in our endeavors, if we are not healthy, and if we are not happy, we only have ourselves to blame.

__________

*  Jim Rohn  was a successful American entrepreneur and motivational speaker and his net worth before his death, according to estimates, was $500 million.

Surviving The Workplace Jungle

I couldn’t agree more when people describe the workplace as “a jungle.” I have worked for over thirty years at eight different institutions in two countries, so I have ample reason to concur with that description. The similarities between workplace behavior and that of forest animals are uncanny. Even the relationships among people in the workplace resemble how wild animals treat one another. Thus, they say, in the workplace, “only the fittest survive.”

I have been in this jungle called a workplace for more than three decades now. Here I am, still standing and breathing. I managed to hold my own against the beasts I crossed paths with as I searched for greener pastures and overflowing water holes. I experienced being stared down by a lion, bullied by a gorilla, stalked by an eagle, ambushed by a crocodile, bitten by a snake, screamed at by hyenas, and clipped by a crab. Those attacks left me scarred. Nevertheless, I survived – and they did not go unscathed either.

So, how did I prevail?

I simply took a cue from Charles Darwin’s theory of natural selection — the idea that organisms whose traits are better suited to their environment are the ones that survive and pass those traits on. Adaptation is the name of the game. But adaptation does not always mean bending. Sometimes it means standing your ground — and the real skill is knowing which one the moment is asking of you. That is what I have been doing, and what you should do if you intend to stay alive and kicking in that jungle where you are now — ADAPT.

If you do not wish to be dinner for the predators, study the workplace where you belong. Know what kind of animals you are dealing with. Study them carefully. You also need to put your survival instincts into full gear.

If you decide to fight the bullies in the organization, be ready to face the consequences. I did not do this often, and I never did it lightly — only when staying quiet would have cost me more than the fight did. I poked bears and twisted the tails of lions to remind them they were not the kings of the forest and lords of the jungle they thought themselves to be. I took the bulls by the horns. I did not chicken out. When I see a snake standing in my way, no matter how big and scary, I turn into a mongoose. Thankfully, I lived to fight another day.

Predators lurk in the shadows. It could be a big cat hiding in the bushes or a mighty bird hovering above. These predators could be the “people upstairs” or somebody from among you “downstairs.”

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean that all bosses who succeeded in their business endeavors did it at the expense of the people in the rank and file — like predators slaying their prey and eating them. It could be just a few, or half, or most of them. Nobody knows for sure. But definitely not all. Perhaps most of them (I hope) consider themselves rhinos, and the people they hire are oxpeckers whom they allow to freely land on their backs to feast on the insects pestering them.

The point I wish to drive at when I posited that they (the bosses) are predators is that they are at the top of the food chain and, like it or not, when you agreed to work for them, you entered their territory. They dictate the terms and conditions of your employment. That doesn’t sound good, but it’s the reality in the workplace.

The ones who own or manage the workplace are the alpha males. You need to understand how they think and operate. Better if you could dig deeper and learn what they like and dislike. Stay in the pack if it is not too much for your dignity (or EGO) to adapt to their whims and fancies. These whims and fancies could be the policies that you consider disagreeable. You’ve got to choose whether to follow these policies. For not following, of course, you are not naïve about the consequences. Following the terms and conditions of your employment is not equivalent to flopping onto your back to show that you submit to the alpha males. It is simply like the chimpanzees presenting their back, crouching, bowing, and bobbing to show deference to the alpha in their group.

If not, if you are tired of being an omega, if your ego clashes with that of the alpha, the wisest thing to do is find another pack. You can be a lone wolf. Don’t be employed. Establish your own business and be your own boss. If you succeed and your business grows big, hire people — that is your chance to be the alpha and see if you are better than your former bosses (and hopefully) not worse than them.

Believe me, you cannot afford to take too much bravado and think you are that brave “angry bird” who would post your disagreement online and not expect dire consequences. Whether it’s a tweet, a Facebook rant, or a viral TikTok, your chirps and screams will not go unnoticed. Little birds that might tell them about your misplaced braggadocio are hovering around you. Before you know it, the eagle will swoop down on your nest and tear you apart with its powerful beak. So, learn to hold your horses. Clam up. Just work.

The angry bird isn’t the only one who talks too much and pays for it. There’s also the barnyard crowd — the roosters and the hens — and they have their own way of finding trouble.

Speaking of noise, there’s also the rooster in the office. This one loves the sound of his own crowing — not about deadlines, not about deliverables, but about everything else under the sun: politics, gossip from last night’s game, his side hustle, his opinions on things nobody asked him to opine on. He crows at the top of his lungs while everyone else is trying to work. Sooner or later, somebody upstairs starts wondering if the rooster actually does any work at all, or if he just announces the sunrise every morning and calls it a contribution.

Then there are the hens, clucking away in their corner of the coop. One small workplace hiccup — a missed deadline, a minor disagreement, a memo that rubbed someone the wrong way — and the clucking starts, spreading from cubicle to cubicle until the whole flock is in an uproar over something that could have stayed a whisper. The volume isn’t the problem. It’s that the noise is rarely about the work either.

And here’s the thing about roosters that won’t stop crowing and hens that won’t stop clucking: the farmer (the boss) is always listening. Too much noise, too little work, and eventually somebody decides the coop needs thinning out. That’s how roosters and hens end up as fried chicken — plucked, seasoned, and served, while the quiet ones who kept their heads down and did the work are still out in the yard, unbothered.

More often than not, or almost always, locking horns with the “powers that be” in the workplace is like a deer thinking it could take on a full-grown lion. It’s a losing proposition.

Of course, not all bosses are saints. Some would take advantage of the people they hire in different ways. That you’d discover (hopefully) in time. So, why stay in a watering hole when you discover crocodiles waiting in an ambush under the mud?

What about the predators among you “downstairs.”

Wherever you work, you’ll encounter malevolent individuals. So, be careful. Beware of the wolf in sheep’s clothing. These are co-workers who camouflage themselves as your friends but would stab you in the back when they have the chance.

Okay. Let’s talk more about the different animals in the workplace. You must be able to identify them if you want to survive the wild called the workplace.

We have already mentioned the monkey at the top of the tree, the big cats, and the mighty birds. Yeah… including the wolves pretending to be sheep.

Are there other animals you ought to be wary of?

Of course, there are!

Be careful of the buzzing bees called “rumormongers.”

Thinking that they are your friends and therefore could be trusted, you share with them your darkest secrets. Later you’ll discover that the entire workplace is talking about the skeletons you keep in your closet. These people would let the cat out of the bag so easily.

Gossiping is a deadly disease in the workplace. So contagious is it that even people who consider themselves professionals and decent individuals spread personal and work-related gossip. Identify who among your co-workers is fond of tittle-tattling. Don’t say anything negative to them about the work or co-workers, let alone personal matters. Just listen when they talk. Don’t fall into their trap. They will quote you without batting an eyelid. But here is the best way to deal with them — avoid them like the plague.

Among your co-workers, you should also be able to spot the crabs.

Why?

Do you know what happens when you put crabs in a bucket? They’ll try to escape by pulling others back down, effectively preventing any of them from climbing out of the bucket.

That’s the origin of the proverbial “crab mentality.” The philosophy of the malevolent among your co-workers is “if they can’t have a promotion or an incentive, neither can you.” Some people in workplaces just don’t want to see their co-workers succeed. They hate it when somebody climbs the ladder, especially if they’ve been there longer. These snakes would bite you with intrigue and gossip when they see you work harder than they do. They would accuse you of being a leech trying to suck the attention and favor of the people upstairs. Avoid them like mosquitoes and cockroaches, for they could carry a deadly disease.

Don’t let the snakes’ venom get to your nerves and kill your enthusiasm and motivation. Continue to work as hard as your personal values allow. That’s just the reality in the workplace – generally, there are two types of workers – the ants and the termites.

And with whom would you rather be associated – with the ants in the workplace who keep themselves busy working and helping one another to achieve the goals of the organization or with the termites, whose actions and pronouncements, deliberate or otherwise, are damaging – not only to the organization but more so to themselves?

They are basically a negative bunch that should be avoided at all costs. The termites hold a grudge against the people upstairs for one reason or another, and they think that by not doing their jobs the way they ought to and behaving oddly, they could get even. They spin tales about the organization’s current state to demotivate people. Be aware that the termites could also sow dissension among their co-workers.

Nonetheless, the people upstairs are not naïve. They could easily detect termites and have them exterminated.

Watch out too for the hyena – the one who laughs loudest at everyone else’s mistakes. Miss a deadline, fumble a presentation, get called out in a meeting, and the hyena is there, cackling, making sure the room notices your stumble. But corner a hyena the way it corners others, and the laugh disappears fast. The moment the mistake traces back to them, or somebody else outshines them in front of the people upstairs, that same mouth that laughed now screams – scrambling to explain, deflect, or drag someone else down before the blame lands. The hyena was never as confident as it sounded. It only knew how to laugh at others. It never learned how to carry its own weight.

Also watch out for parasites in the workplace.

The parasites seem to have special training in detecting generosity. Once they spot a kind-hearted co-worker who won’t say no when asked for favors, they will have a field day. They would ask you to solve their work-related problems and sometimes even seek personal favors.

So, be careful. Learn to say no when you must, or they will waste your time and resources. They would not hesitate to abuse you.

It’s okay if they return the favor. The problem is the word “reciprocate” is not in their vocabulary.

They also tend to exhibit that selfish attribute in their work. You could neither expect them to go the extra mile for the organization nor to perform their duties and responsibilities as stipulated in their contracts. They care for nothing but their salaries.

Beware, because where we work, roaming are also the “old dogs” – the dinosaurs who refuse to retool and retrain to cope with the demands of what has become a technology-driven workplace.

The infusion of technology in the different aspects of organizational functions is inevitable. They make work more efficient. Organizations that refuse to embrace this new reality are destined to either be eaten up by the competition or buried in the grave of their own insignificance, dug by refusing to change. However, some people in the workplace refuse to be attuned to this emerging reality by subscribing to the notion that “old dogs can’t learn new tricks.”

Now here’s an animal in the jungle you should aspire to be, not fear – the chameleon.

The chameleon has no claws to speak of, no venom, no roar. Its survival skill is subtler and, frankly, smarter: it reads the branch it’s sitting on and changes color to match it, without becoming a different creature underneath. That’s the part people miss when they hear the word ADAPT and think it means surrender. It doesn’t. It means knowing when to display your true colors boldly and when to keep them muted until the moment is right. The chameleon isn’t the fiercest animal in the jungle, and it doesn’t need to be – it survives because it’s smart enough never to walk into a fight it wasn’t built to win. Blending in is not surrender. It is the same choice that sometimes tells you to fight – only pointed in the other direction. Learn to be that watchful. Read the room before you speak. Read the branch before you land on it. That is how you outlast the lions.

The relationship between the people and the organization should be symbiotic for the workplace to prosper.

Let’s consider the relationship between the clownfish and the sea anemone. It’s a perfect example of a symbiotic mutualistic relationship. While the clownfish’s fecal matter serves as a nutrient source for the sea anemone, the sea anemone protects the clownfish from predators.

You can choose between becoming a parasite or a clownfish.

The workplace gives you a venue for professional growth and a source of livelihood. You need to keep it afloat. Your organization needs your help to succeed and continue to exist. You may have disagreements with the people upstairs, but you must remember that commitment to your job and organization differs from commitment to your employers.

Lastly, to survive in the forest, you must clearly determine where you rank in the food chain. Identify the different kinds of animals there. And most importantly – don’t stand in the path of your predators.

It’s as simple as knowing your designated place in the organization, being mindful of your words and actions, and being careful with how you deal with everyone. And remember that the most foolish thing to do is to offend your employers and think that there’ll be no consequences. Pray that they are rhinos and not king cobras who bite when provoked.

In the end, this jungle does not ask you to be purely meek or purely fierce. It asks you to know, moment to moment, which one keeps you standing – and to have the nerve to be either one when it’s called for.

You have to study the workplace culture. Again… ADAPT. There’s a line about survival that gets attributed to Charles Darwin, though historians who’ve gone looking for it in his actual writing have never found it there – it seems to have been coined decades later by a business professor paraphrasing Darwinian ideas: “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Misattributed or not, the wisdom in it still holds – for the chameleon, and for you.

If you can’t adapt, feel disrespected and gravely offended, or think you are no longer growing professionally – what are you waiting for? It’s time to migrate to another forest. And if you think there are better animals in other forests, good luck!

On Self-doubt

“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good
we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
– William Shakespeare

Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride are referred to in Christian teachings as the “seven deadly sins.” These, to the Roman Catholics, are the cardinal sins. If a person commits any of them, he is believed to be cut off from God’s grace.

Actually, the Bible does not specifically mention the concept “seven deadly sins.” But in Galatians 5: 16-19,  fifteen acts of the sinful nature are identified – sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, and orgies. Perhaps St. Gregory the Great, during his reign as Pope (590 – 640 AD), wanting to be concise,  shortened that long list of capital vices.

All Christian faithful are being called upon to not commit those acts of the flesh. St Paul said that believers are free but he implored them not to use their freedom to indulge the flesh. That, definitely, is easier said than done.

I think  St. Paul (who wrote the Galatians) and St. Gregory  may have overlooked another human frailty that should have been added to the list of sins. There exists another spiritual infirmity that I believe should be considered as equally harmful as any of the deadly sins. It’s called self-doubt.

My proposition (that self-doubt be classified also as sin) may not be considered seriously.  Many might even say it’s preposterous.

Is it?

Is self-doubt just an ordinary flaw in a person’s character? Is it really a bit too much to consider it a sin? Is it not a serious offense – something that when committed could ruin a person’s life?

Allow me to argue my assertion that self-doubt is a sin. For those who do not believe in the concept of religion, think of self-doubt not as a sin but an injury you inflict upon yourselves.

In this article, we will define self-doubt, strictly, as “the feeling of not having confidence in yourself or your abilities.”  The concept of doubt being discussed here does not refer to that philosophical function “to cast doubt.”

The definition above (the one before the disambiguation) makes self-doubt sound harmless – not something immoral or demonic that would make the moralists and bible scholars (both past and present) look at it as a sin. That’s probably the reason no religious movement, Christianity included, classified such human inadequacy as a sin. You might also refuse to accept that it is an injury you inflict upon yourself.

Self-doubt, however, is not as simple as it seems. This impotence of the human spirit has grave consequences not only to the person having it but  to the family where he belongs and to the society where he lives. A person plagued by it will be less-productive or not productive at all and is definitely not going to contribute anything to his family and society.

In arguing that self-doubt is a sin (or a self-inflicted injury) it is important to review the nature of sin from a philosophical standpoint.

“Sin is said to be a moral evil” (O’Neil, 1912). This brings us to another question – what is evil? St. Thomas defines the word (evil) as a privation of form or order or due measure. “Evil implies a deficiency in perfection.”

Self-doubt is clearly an imperfection. It indicates the absence of confidence which is considered essential for a person’s well-being and is a requirement in the pursuit of what Abraham Maslow refers to in Psychology as “self-actualization” or achieving one’s full potential. Sin is a diversion from the perceived ideal order of human living (Hyde, 2018). A person doubting his capabilities veers away from becoming the best that they can be and reduces their chance of living life to the fullest.

It could be argued that there are a lot of other negative human characters that may indicate imperfections. But none is as damaging to the person as self-doubt. Something is wrong with a person if he lacks confidence and has a very low (or  no) feeling of self-worth. These are conditions that  may lead to failure and unhappiness.

In addition, philosophical or moral sin is a human act not in agreement with rational nature and right reason. (Hyde, 2018).

It is not considered reasonable to doubt one’s capabilities. It is a person’s moral obligation to believe in themselves. It is not right to think one would fail even without really trying. A person needs to have faith not only in God (if he happens to believe in one) but also in themselves.

Allowing self-doubt to reign is depriving the self of discovering one’s potentials. When a person decides to doubt themselves, they eradicate their ability to fulfill their goals and to achieve their dreams.

Failures are indeed impossible not to happen. But even if one fails in several attempts to succeed they should decide not to stop trying. There’s a long list of famous personalities (like Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, J.K. Rowling, Bill Gates, Walt Disney, and Henry Ford) who had their share of failures but  never gave up.

But is self-doubt a self-inflicted injury?

“Sin, also, wounds the nature of man.” This is what the Catholic teachings assert.

“Self-doubt destroys the heart, mind, body, and soul. It is one of the major obstacles to living the life that people truly deserve. This unhealthy food for the soul drags down a person’s spirit, crushes his ambitions, and prevents him from achieving all that he can (Thalk, 2013).

Doubt impedes a person’s development. It is the biggest roadblock to self-actualization. Self-doubt prevents people from becoming the best they could be, from realizing their full potentials, and from achieving their dreams. Shakespeare stressed, “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” Doubt could possibly kill more dreams than failure ever did.

Some degree of self-doubt is generally held to be normal. It can be helpful in some cases, as it often leads to introspection and enhanced performance. But it may require medical help when it becomes debilitating, affects daily function, or impedes performance at work or school (Self-doubt, n.d.).

There’s no immorality committed when one doubts himself. Why should it be then considered a sin?

This brings me to  the last among my arguments to convince you that self-doubt is a sin.

A sin may either be a sin of commission or a sin of omission. Sins of commission are sins we commit by doing something we shouldn’t do and sins of omission are sins we commit by not doing something (Sins of Commission vs Sins of Omission, 2015). The seven deadly sins are all sins of commission except sloth.

Sloth –   extreme laziness or the failure to act and utilize one’s talents –  is considered a sin of omission. I think self-doubt belongs to that category. If sloth made it to the list of the deadly sins, self-doubt should be there also.

“Self-doubt,” is just as  damaging (perhaps more damaging) to a person than this sin called “sloth.”  Actually, in some instances, a person’s failure to use his innate talents starts with his inability to believe what he is capable of doing.

I hope that the arguments I presented above about self-doubt are convincing enough that from this point on you would move as far away from it as possible.

Conquer your self-doubt and start to nurture self-belief which I think is the key component of the value system of the few men and women who scaled the heights of success.


Welcome, singular “they”

References:

Hyde, J. (2018). The book of sin: How to Save the World, UK: Soul Rocks Books

O’Neil, A.C. (1912). Sin. In The Catholic Encyclopedia. New York: Robert Appleton Company. Retrieved October 24, 2020 from New Advent: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14004b.htm

Self-Doubt (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.gootherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/self-doubt/

Sins of commission vs sins of omission (2015) Retrieved from https://www.revelation.co/2015/07/21/sins-of-commission-vs-sins-of omission/

Thalk, C. (2013). Self-doubt destroys the heart, mind, body and soul. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/self-doubt_b_2960936

The Road To Self-Improvement: A Collection of Essays

Per Dev

I gathered in this part of my website the essays I have written about personal growth and development.  I want to share the lessons and insights I learned from motivational speakers whose books (and videos on YouTube) have given me the blueprint on how best I could restructure my way of thinking so I could make better decisions in the different areas of my life.

I have been experiencing amazing changes in my life that I started regretting why didn’t I  dig into these personal development stuffs when I was younger. I have heard a lot about “positive thinking” and related  ideas before but I did not pay attention. But as the saying goes, “better late than never.”

I came to realize that “positive thinking” is but the first step in a person’s journey to a better self and a better life. It’s not the be-all-end-all of personal growth and development. But it all begins in setting a positive mindset. Positive actions should follow. People are in a better position to succeed when  they break free from limiting beliefs and debilitating attitudes.

My goal in writing these essays and have them put together in this corner of my website is to help promote awareness on personal growth and development. I am not (yet) an expert in this field. I just want to share the little things I have learned so far and to say that I am so happy with the results I am getting.

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Defining Happiness

Do NOT Expect

On Positive Thinking

On Self-Doubt

Enlightened Perspective

On Personal Accountability

Beyond Positive Thinking

Cultivating a Positive Mindset

Dissecting Positive Thinking

On Success

The Blame List

Where Has Positive Thinking Brought Me?

Our Fate And Destiny

On Self-Improvement

A Test On Self-reliance

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There’s no better time to discuss this subject – self-reliance – than now that a health crisis is fiercely challenging the indomitability of the human spirit. As I emphasized in a previous essay, humans have always been the apex predator. Then came COVID-19. These microbes predate on us and suddenly we are made to play an unfamiliar role – that of the prey. Much to our chagrin, we have become the game of these microscopic parasites.

The coronavirus has put us to a battery of tests. We miserably flunked the first one – the test of preparedness. We were not ready when this deadly pestilence came. The statistics on infections and deaths clearly show that. Not that nobody saw this current pandemic happening. Many did but the alarms they sounded were either not loud enough or fell on deaf ears. We are now paying the price of our unpreparedness. We now have to bear the consequences of our complacency.

The next test is adaptation. COVID-19 is also testing our ability to adapt. This we cannot afford to fail. To adapt is the  only option we have now, at least until we have both cure and vaccine against the deadly pathogen. If we won’t, we perish.

Surviving the pandemic is the goal of adaptation. It is a personal responsibility. Each individual has to make a choice – take all the necessary precautions or naively say “come what may.” There are people who chose not to follow science-based  protocols set by the authorities to prevent possible infection. Should they get infected, they only have themselves to blame. God forbid that in their stubbornness and ignorance, other people, particularly their loved ones, would also suffer.

Surviving means not only avoiding getting infected but staying afloat in the dire conditions created by the onslaught of the deadly virus. It is not only a matter of  steering away from the deadly path of this infectious disease but also coping to the situations that emerged from its trail of destruction.

Overcoming the difficulties and challenges we are now facing  because of the pandemic require  all forms of toughness – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual (for those who, like me, believe in God). We may also need all the help we could get during these times.

But what if nobody would help? What if we only have ourselves to rely upon in order to survive? Can we shift our gear to self-reliance if we need to?

That’s the next test and perhaps the most crucial – the test on self-reliance.

When governments of affected countries had to implement extreme measures including declaring lockdowns, all socio-political  and economic activities grinded to a halt. People were forced to stay at home and couldn’t go to work to earn a living. Many got worried, particularly the breadwinners, because they had mouths to feed and bills to pay.  Lucky were the citizens of some countries who were given economic assistance  by their governments. Some governments don’t have the capability to do the same. Luckier were those who live in very rich countries whose pockets are very deep.  But were the dole outs provided by those holding the reins of government sufficient? Are the financial resources of even the wealthiest among nations unlimited that no matter how long it will take for the COVID-19 threats to dissipate they would be able to provide the needs of their people?

The next question we have to answer is – “Are we supposed to just rely on the relief package that our respective governments would provide?”  Here’s another – “Are we going to put our fate and that of our families in the hands of other people when situations like the current health crisis occurs?”

What if the coffers of our governments run dry? What if the usually generous countries would decide not to send aids to other countries because they would want to prioritize the needs of their own citizens? What if the philanthropists and their charitable organizations have nothing more to give? What if we have no friends, relatives,  and loved ones who would (and could) give us the assistance we need? What if we only have ourselves to rely upon because everyone else have their own problems and concerns?

Yes, when COVID-19 cases started to go down some countries lifted (or eased down)  their quarantine measures, economic activities resumed, although in a limited scale only. But as soon as that happened, as soon as more people and more people ventured out of their houses and  started moving to and fro for whatever reasons, statistics on infections and deaths  started to surge again.

So, in light of the aforementioned, what should the governments of concerned countries be doing? Would they choose to preserve the lives of their citizens or resuscitate their dying economies? Should our leaders choose the former, we go back to square one. We go back to being confined in our homes and not capable of earning a living. We go back to relying solely on the support from our governments. That is, if  they still have the resources to distribute to us.  But what if they have nothing more to give?

It is our moral obligation to put ourselves in a position that when everything else fail, we can at least have ourselves to rely upon and that we have sufficient resources to draw from come rain or shine. We should be thankful if our government, our neighbors, our friends, or our relatives would offer help during difficult times but it is our duty as a person with dignity to work smart and hard enough to ensure that even without the help from anybody we (and those who rely on us) will survive.

We have all spring, summer, and fall to prepare for the winter. We should not spend the first three seasons just watching the buds in branches of trees  become leaves  until they become dry and shriveled then fall to the ground. Till the land. Sow the seeds of the kind of crop you want to reap. After the harvest, don’t eat everything. Save some for the winter. Make sure that you saved enough in your barn in case the winter gets longer than usual.