(A Short Novel)

Edge of the Fall (Part 3)

Light greeted my waking. It hurt my eyes. I closed them again. I felt my body aching all over. When I breathed, there was pain around my ribs.

I turned to my side and opened my eyes again, slowly.

I’m still alive. I’m not in heaven or hell, not in that mountain.  I’m in a hospital room.

Two needles were stuck in my hand. Those are for the IV fluids that were hanging over the bed. I had an oxygen mask on, and it made me feel uneasy. I lifted it to check if I still needed it. When I realized I could breathe comfortably without it, I decided to take it off.

My arms were covered in bruises, and I was pretty sure my body and legs were too.

When I looked toward my feet, I noticed a woman with her head resting on the bed where I lay. It seemed she was watching over me. I wondered who it could be.

I tried to sit up, but my ribs hurt a lot. Could one or two of them be broken?

My movements awoke the woman.. She stood up and looked at me.

I knew the woman. I couldn’t be mistaken. She was the woman from the mountain. Without any hesitation, she hugged me. I was surprised, especially when she started crying unabashedly. It was awkward. I didn’t know whether to push her away or hug her back.

She was the reason I got beaten. She put me in harm’s way. Should I blame her?

Her hug tightened. At that moment, I suddenly remembered my sister. She would hug me tightly and cry, the way a woman does, whenever I confronted her about her wrong decisions.

“Dangsin-i sal-a gyesim-eul gamsadeulibnida.”

She thanked God that I was still alive. Should I also thank her for having survived the beating I got from her compatriots? Or blame her for being unable to push through with my plans.

“Jeongmal mianhae. Geugeos-eun modu nae jalmos-ieossda.”

The woman apologized, admitting that what had happened was her fault.

If you think about it, who was to blame for the beating I got? Could I blame the men who hit me, thinking I was assaulting their fellow citizen and a woman? If I had stumbled upon such a scene—a woman screaming, desperately trying to escape a man holding her tightly as they wrestled on the ground—what would I have done?

But is it my fault that it all happened because I stopped the woman from jumping? Was it right for me to try to stop her from taking her own life? The questions swirl inside me like a bitter winter wind, numbing any clarity I might have had. Yet, beneath the cold, like a hesitant bud breaking through the frost, I wonder if there’s any chance for warmth—if I did the right thing or if I’ve just trapped us both in an endless winter. Because of what I did, we continue to live. But does that mean we’ll also continue to feel the pain caused by those who neglected their promise to love us?

“How stupid of me. I put you in danger.”

She could speak English.

“Okay… okay… Just wait a moment! Let go of me first. I can’t breathe.”

She broke free from the hug. To my surprise, she knelt.

“Please forgive me.”

“Wait… wait… Please stand up. Don’t do that.”

The woman didn’t move. Her knees remained glued to the floor as she held my thigh.

I tried to stand. My legs and joints were in pain, but I managed. I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently lifted her.

“I am not blaming you for what happened to me.”

She stood up and hugged me again.

“Thank you. Thank you. But I’m sorry.”

After saying that, she gently sat me back down on the bed.

“Just sit down. You’re still weak. You are badly injured.”

I heeded her advice. I sat back on the edge of the bed.

“You might want to know. The doctors said all you have are bruises and contusions. None of your bones are broken.”

She pulled a chair and sat right in front of me. I couldn’t help but notice how comfortable she seemed doing all those things, as if we had known each other for a long time.

“By the way, I’m Su Jin.”

“Oh, and I’m…”

“Joseph! You’re Joseph. You’re from the Philippines. I’m sorry. I opened your wallet. I had to get information about you when I brought you here.”

I paused for a moment.

“Well, I think you had no choice but to do that. It’s okay.”

She took my cell phone and wallet from her bag and handed them to me.

“Here. Oh… I have your other personal belongings in my car.”

“Thanks. By the way, how long have I been here?”

“This is the second night.”

“How were you able to bring me to this hospital… from the mountain?”

“Those men helped me. I explained to them what happened. They’re very sorry. They were drunk at that time.”

Then I remember how I almost died in the hands of those men.

 Ah, by the way, they’re paying for your hospitalization. They’re hoping you would not sue them and settle things amicably.”

Should I file a lawsuit? It doesn’t seem like it. If I were in their position, I might have done the same. It’s enough that they helped bring me to the hospital.

“I told them that they should pay you also for damages, especially if you decide not to work for some time because of what happened. They agreed. I’ll call them later so they can come and talk to you.”

It’s nice to think that she seems to have arranged everything. And she speaks English well. That’s not common among them. Unlike most of her countrymen, she must have graduated from university overseas or studied English seriously.

“How come you can speak English so well?”

“I studied in the US for almost 10 years. I just completed my Master’s there recently.”

That explains it.

“I was also able to contact your family in the Philippines.”

“Really? How?”

“Through your embassy. Your sister is coming to pick you up. She said you need to go home and take a break. By the way, Joseph…”

“Yeah?”

Su Jin hesitated. She seemed to want to say something, but was shy about it.

“Ah… Your sister told me your story.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know what happened.”

I didn’t know whether to be upset or not. My sister was so nosy.

“Is that so?”

She nodded and said, “We’re on the same boat.”

When I heard that, I couldn’t help but laugh a little. Su Jin laughed too. I don’t know why remembering what Jinky and my brother did to me didn’t bring any more bitterness.

Then she added, “They broke our hearts.”

I nodded, then said, “You wouldn’t believe this.”

“What?” Su Jin asked.

“I was on that mountain that afternoon to commit suicide.”

Su Jin froze.

“You want me to believe that!”

“But that’s the truth. Believe it or not.”

“Stop it, Joseph! I don’t believe you. You didn’t go there to die. You were there to save me. And you did.”

I just kept silent and listened to what she said. Who would believe that I went there to commit suicide? But instead of death, I found a new lease of life. But who was there for whom? Me for her or her for me. Perhaps we were there for each other. We were there to put an end to the harsh winter we experienced. We provided each other a spring of hope.

She took my hand. Her palms were so soft. She smiled and looked at me. Then, I realized how beautiful and sweet her face was, like the first bloom of spring pushing through the stubborn frost.

“”I owe you my life. You saved me. You are a very good man.”

I gently squeezed her hands in response, not knowing what to say. After all, was she the only one saved when I stopped her from jumping? I got saved as well.

“Thank you, too, Su Jin.”

She nodded and smiled and slowly bowed her head.

I don’t believe in fate. Everything that happens in a person’s life is the product of their collective decisions. But before I established my own belief system, informed by the things I learned and experienced, as well as the ideas I read and decided to embrace, my father told me when I was a boy that there are times when God intervenes in human affairs. Subconsciously, I sometimes revert to what my father said, rather than clinging to my new belief about fate. Additionally, he stated that everything happens for a reason.

So, how should I put it? Was it the will of God that I climbed the mountain that day to prevent Su Jin from jumping? But who prevented whom from jumping? It’s hard to believe that God would will Jinky and my brother to commit that treachery against me so that I would go to the mountain and eventually meet Su Jin. I think I met her on the mountain because we both decided to go there for personal reasons. But whatever it may be, it’s no longer important.

“By the way, aren’t you hungry?” That was Sujin breaking the silence as she let go of my hands.

“I brought some food.” She pointed to the table.

“Yeah, actually, I’m starving. Is there coffee available?”

“I’m afraid not, but there’s a café nearby. I’ll buy us coffee. What do you want?”

“Is it okay?”

“Of course!”

“Can you get me a caramel macchiato, please?”

“Sure! I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Wait!” I opened my wallet.

“No please. It’s on me.”

Before she left the room, Su Jin looked back at me. She smiled again.

“Don’t go anywhere, okay? Don’t run away from me.”

I laughed at what she said. Su Jin had a sense of humor.

I thought about her words before she left. It was funny, but honestly, I’d feel regret and sadness if she didn’t come back. It felt like she was filling some gap in my life at that moment. Did she feel the same way?

After a while, the door opened.

“Oh, you’re still here. I am glad you didn’t try to escape.” She said as she handed me the coffee.

“You’re funny.”

“Am I?”

She took a piece of bread from the table and gave it to me.

“By the way, your sister invited me to visit the Philippines. I’d like to. May I go with you and your sister? PLEASE. I need a little break.”

I looked at her and smiled.

“Chincha?”

I asked if she was serious. She looked like she was.

“Ne!.. Boo ta kam ni da!”

She retook my hands. She squeezed them tightly. It felt like she was warning me that if I disagreed, she’d twist my hands.

When I nodded, I saw how her face lit up with happiness.

“Yes! Gomabseubnida!”

Su Jin thanked me, and in her joy, she hugged me again. I hugged her back and rested my head on her shoulder. She allowed it. In that moment, the warmth of her embrace felt like the first rays of spring breaking through my heart’s long, harsh winter, offering a glimpse of renewal I hadn’t dared to hope for.

 As for my mother, elder brother, and Jinky, I think I would eventually learn to forgive and forget, like the last snow of winter thawing and finally giving way to the soft bloom of spring.