Category Archives: Habit Scheme
Proper Perspective
SDSI — DOSE 12
(A Steady Dose of Self-Improvement)
Perspective does not change your circumstances—it changes what you are able to see within
them and, therefore, what you are able to do about them.
A friend of mine is often mistaken for me. When he asked, half-offended, “Do I look as old as you?” I told him, “No—I look as young and handsome as you.”
My friend and I teach at the same university. We have similar builds and similarly rounded faces, so people occasionally mistake him for me.
One day, visibly bemused, he asked, “Why would they think I am you? Do I look as old as you?”
I paused, smiled, and replied, “No. I look as young and handsome as you.”
As he laughed, I realized that our contrasting reactions to the same situation illustrated perspective in miniature. He initially viewed the comparison as an unfavorable comment about his age. I treated it as a flattering comment about mine. Nothing about the situation changed—only the position from which we viewed it.
Proper perspective, however, does not mean forcing every unpleasant experience into a cheerful interpretation. It means looking at something truthfully, completely, and proportionately. A negative interpretation can be as incomplete as an unrealistically positive one. Sometimes we stand too close to a problem and allow one unpleasant detail to fill our entire field of vision.
I once spoke with a colleague who was frustrated about his salary as an expatriate university teacher. He compared his annual income with that of a truck driver back home and concluded that the driver was better compensated.
His dissatisfaction may have been legitimate, but the comparison was incomplete. I asked him to consider the driver’s actual working hours, physical demands, time spent away from home, and working conditions. We then considered the teacher’s lighter schedule and extended periods away from the classroom while continuing to receive a regular salary. Once those factors were included, the comparison became far less straightforward.
The purpose was not to tell him that he had no right to want better compensation. It was to help him evaluate his situation using the whole picture rather than one number.
Viktor Frankl wrote about preserving an inner freedom even amid circumstances of unimaginable cruelty. His reflections did not deny suffering or pretend that pain was good. They recognized that when a situation could no longer be changed, a person could still decide how to respond to it. As he wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Sometimes proper perspective reveals a hidden advantage. Sometimes it exposes a genuine injustice that must be addressed. In either case, it helps us respond more wisely because we are no longer reacting to only one fragment of reality.
Perspective does not erase the problem. It brings the rest of the picture into view.
Pause and Reflect
What frustration in your life might look different if you stepped back and examined the fuller picture?
Are you overlooking facts that challenge your present interpretation?
One Step Forward
Choose one situation bothering you today. Write down your current interpretation, then list two relevant facts you may have overlooked. Revise your interpretation only if the fuller evidence justifies it.
Explored more fully in Part 2 — Section I — Chapter 5, “Proper Perspective,” of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Seizing Control
SDSI — DOSE 09
You may not control every circumstance written into your life,
but you still hold the pen that writes what comes next.
Who Is Writing Your Story?
Your life is not a blank page—but neither is it a finished book.
You did not choose where you were born, the family into which you arrived, or many of the circumstances that shaped your early life. Even now, illness, injustice, economic hardship, other people’s decisions, and unexpected events can alter your plans without your permission.
Seizing control does not mean pretending that these forces do not exist. It means refusing to give them authorship over the rest of your story.
Fate and destiny are often used interchangeably to suggest that the future has already been decided. What makes this belief dangerous is not the vocabulary but the helplessness it can produce. When people become convinced that nothing they do matters, they stop making deliberate decisions. They wait for fortune to improve, for someone to rescue them, or for the right moment to arrive.
Waiting then becomes a decision in itself.
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison under South Africa’s apartheid regime. He could not simply choose to unlock his cell or erase the injustice that placed him there. His control was severely restricted, but not completely destroyed. He could still decide what kind of person he would become within those restrictions and what he would do if freedom came.
Mandela emerged from prison without allowing bitterness to dictate his entire future. He helped negotiate an end to white minority rule and, in 1994, became South Africa’s first democratically elected president. He did not control every event that shaped his life or his country. But within the choices available to him, he exercised courage, discipline, patience, and purpose.
That is what seizing control truly means.
You cannot command every outcome. You cannot guarantee that effort will always be rewarded, that people will treat you fairly, or that every plan will succeed. But you can examine your options, choose your response, develop your abilities, seek help, change direction, and take the next meaningful step.
Your circumstances may influence the story. They may limit some choices and make others painfully difficult. But influence is not always authorship. As long as you retain the capacity to choose your next response, part of the pen remains in your hand.
Do not waste your strength trying to control what is beyond you. Use it to take responsibility for what is still yours.
You may not be able to rewrite the opening chapters. But today, you can write the next sentence.
Pause and Reflect
Who or what has been making too many of your recent decisions?
What part of your present situation remains genuinely within your control?
One Step Forward
Identify one area in which you have been waiting for circumstances to decide for you. Take one concrete action today that places the pen back in your hand.
Explored more fully in Part 2 — Section I — Chapter 2, “Seizing Control,” of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Strong Self-Belief
SDSI — DOSE 08
(A Steady Dose of Self-Improvement)
Self-belief is not arrogance—it is an honest recognition of your capabilities and the courage
to move forward while continuing to improve.
Other people’s disbelief does not kill a dream. It is the self-doubt that follows it home.
One image from the Gospel of Mark has stayed with me: “No one pours new wine into old wineskins, or the wine will burst the skins.” In its biblical context, the passage speaks of the incompatibility between the new and the old. But it also offers a powerful metaphor for personal growth.
The knowledge, skills, and habits we acquire through self-improvement are like new wine. Yet when we try to contain them within an old identity built on fear, inadequacy, and self-doubt, our growth becomes difficult to sustain. We may receive opportunities but feel unworthy of them. We may develop new abilities but remain afraid to use them. We may know what must be done but still believe we are incapable of doing it.
Strong self-belief provides room for growth.
This does not mean pretending that we can do everything. Self-belief is not self-conceit, nor is it blind confidence. It is the grounded conviction that says: I know what I can do. I recognize what I still need to learn. I trust that through effort, preparation, and persistence, I can become more capable than I am today.
Sometimes, self-belief comes before action and gives us the courage to begin. At other times, it develops after we act, struggle, learn, and discover evidence of our own capability. We do not need absolute confidence before taking the first step. We need only enough belief to take it—and then allow each honest effort to strengthen that belief.
Michael Jordan offers a familiar example. As a sophomore, he did not make his high school’s varsity basketball team. He could have accepted that disappointment as a final judgment of his ability. Instead, he trained harder, improved, and eventually became one of basketball’s greatest players. His confidence was not merely something he declared. It was strengthened through disciplined work, repeated failure, and measurable improvement.
This is what separates self-belief from wishful thinking. Wishful thinking says, I will succeed because I want to. Self-belief says, I can learn, prepare, persevere, and become capable of succeeding.
People will sometimes question your plans, underestimate your abilities, or judge your future according to your present limitations. Their disbelief may hurt, but it does not have the power to end your dream—unless you carry it home, make it your own, and allow it to become self-doubt.
Listen to criticism when it contains truth. Learn what you still need to learn. But do not surrender your future to someone else’s limited view of what you can become.
Believe enough to begin. Work enough to produce evidence. Then let that evidence teach you to believe even more.
Pause and Reflect
When has someone’s reaction caused you to question something you genuinely wanted to pursue?
What evidence from your own life shows that you are more capable than you sometimes believe?
One Step Forward
Write one sentence affirming a capability for which you have real evidence—and identify one action you will take today to strengthen it further.
Explored in full in Part 2 – Section I – Chapter 1 ( Strong Self-Belief) of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
BETTER SELF… BETTER LIFE… BETTER NATION.
Value System: Attitudes and Beliefs
SDSI — DOSE 07
Your value system—the attitudes and beliefs you carry—shapes how you see yourself,
interpret your circumstances, and decide what to do next.
Two salesmen. The same storm. Two completely different mornings.
Two traveling salesmen awaken to heavy rain. The first looks out the window and thinks, No one will buy anything in this weather. He returns to bed.
The second looks at the same storm and thinks, Everyone will be indoors today. This may be the easiest day to find customers. He gets dressed and walks out the door.
The rain is the same. The morning is the same. What differs is the meaning each man gives to the situation—and the action that follows.
We do not respond to circumstances exactly as they are. We respond to them according to what we believe they mean. One person sees rejection as proof that the journey is over; another sees it as a reason to improve and try again. One sees difficulty as an excuse to retreat; another sees it as an opportunity to grow.
This is why our exploration of holistic self-improvement begins with the Value System. Our attitudes and beliefs serve as the lenses through which we view ourselves and the world. They influence our decisions, and our decisions gradually determine the direction of our lives. Skills may tell us how to act, and habits may help us act consistently—but our value system often determines whether we act at all.
I experienced this when I left a comfortable position in the Philippines to pursue ESL teaching in South Korea. The decision required more than qualifications. I had to believe that I was capable of building a new professional life in an unfamiliar country. After three rejections, I could have treated them as evidence that I did not belong there. Instead, I chose to regard them as temporary setbacks. I persisted until I finally received the opportunity that changed the course of my professional life.
As Zig Ziglar famously said, “Your attitude, more than your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” Ability matters, but ability alone cannot take us very far when our beliefs prevent us from using it.
A strong value system does not guarantee that every storm will pass quickly or that every effort will succeed. It equips us to meet adversity with self-belief, take control of what we can, accept personal accountability, think positively without denying reality, maintain proper perspective, adapt when conditions change, and remain guided by purpose.
These attitudes and beliefs are the foundation of everything that follows. Before improving what we can do, we must examine how we think and what we believe—because every lasting change begins within.
When you encounter a setback, what beliefs usually shape your response?
Pause and Reflect
Are those beliefs helping you move forward—or giving you permission to remain where you are?
One Step Forward
Identify one limiting belief influencing a current difficulty. Rewrite it as a more constructive belief that encourages action without denying reality.
Explored in full in Part 2 – Foundations of Holistic Self-Improvement, Section I — Value System ( Attitude & Belief) of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Full Potential
SDSI – DOSE 06
What feels like your ceiling may simply be the point where you stopped testing how far you could grow.
What you think is your best… probably isn’t.
Many highly accomplished people keep reading long after formal schooling has ended. Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, and others are known for surrounding themselves with books. Their reading is not merely entertainment; it reflects a deeper commitment to lifelong learning and the refusal to stop growing. Reading is only one path, but it reveals the attitude at the heart of self-improvement: there is always more to learn and more of ourselves to develop.
That pursuit should not be confused with perfectionism. Perfectionism keeps us trapped in constant self-evaluation, often producing frustration and anxiety. Unlocking our full potential means something healthier: deliberately developing our physical, intellectual, emotional, moral, and social capacities so that we become the most capable versions of ourselves. We will never be perfect in every dimension, but we can become better developed than we are today.
One of the greatest barriers is the ceiling we set for ourselves. When an attempt fails, it is tempting to say, “That was the best I could do.” Perhaps it was the best we did on that occasion—but it may not represent the best we can ever become. What feels like our limit may simply be the point at which we stopped learning, practicing, or trying.
The book uses the image of someone stopping only three feet from gold. We rarely know how close another effort, lesson, or adjustment might bring us to the result we seek. Failure does not prove that our potential has been exhausted; it shows us what has not yet worked. Growth requires the humility to learn from that information and the courage to try again.
You will know your ceiling only after you have pushed yourself to find it. Take every opportunity for self-improvement—and when no opportunity appears, create one. Read, practice, seek guidance, and keep developing your abilities. Your full potential is not a label waiting to be discovered. It is a capacity gradually revealed through continuous, deliberate growth.
Pause and Reflect
What “ceiling” have you assumed was fixed even though you have never truly tested it?
One Step Forward
Choose one skill or ability you believe has reached its limit. Spend 20 focused minutes today learning, practicing, or attempting something slightly beyond your usual level.
Explored in full in Part 1, Section III — Self-Improvement and Unlocking One’s Full Potential of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Dreams and Ambitions
SDSI – DOSE 05
“What we say we want and what we actually pursue often diverge — and closing that gap
starts with being honest about our own list.“
What did you want to be when you grew up?
That question takes me back to second grade, when my teacher asked everY child in the room, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” When my turn came, I searched for an answer that hadn’t already been given. Then I saw it—the photograph of our head of state mounted above the blackboard. “I want to be the president of our country,” I said. My classmates laughed out loud, and I felt the heat of embarrassment rise to my face.
That memory taught me something about the question itself. Childhood is far too early to know what we actually want — most people don’t begin gravitating toward their real interests until adolescence, and even then, the question keeps changing shape as we age.
Ask adults the same question today, in different words, and the pattern repeats. Most people answer: rich. Famous. Influential. Almost nobody says healthy. Happy. Successful. It’s not that these simpler wishes matter less — it’s that they’re often the hardest to actually win, so we quietly stop naming them as goals at all.
John Lennon once wrote “happy” for a school assignment asking what he wanted to be when he grew up. His teacher told him he didn’t understand the assignment. He told her she didn’t understand life.
None of this makes wanting wealth, fame, or influence wrong. The real question worth asking isn’t whether you want more — it’s why.
Pause and Reflect
What’s actually on your list — and is it the list you’d give a child, or the one you’ve quietly settled for?
One Step Forward
Write your real list, unedited for how it sounds to others. Circle the one item you’ve most neglected pursuing.
Explored in full in Part 1, Section I — Dreams and Ambitions of A Holistic Approach to Self-Improvement.
Better Self… Better Life…Better nation.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation
SDSI – DOSE 04
Individual self-improvement doesn’t stay contained — it ripples outward
into families, communities, and eventually, a nation.
What does one person’s self-improvement have to do with a nation?
At the heart of my self-improvement advocacy is a simple but powerful conviction: personal transformation can become a foundation for national progress.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
Self-improvement begins with the individual, but its influence need not end there. As people become more principled, capable, disciplined, and responsible, they become better equipped not only to improve their own lives but also to contribute meaningfully to their families, communities, and nation.
- Better Self — developing one’s values, competence, habits, and self-discipline.
- Better Life — using that growth to pursue health, happiness, success, and fulfillment.
- Better Nation — better individuals becoming responsible citizens who contribute rather than merely wait for political leaders to solve everything.
Building better citizens does not remove the government’s responsibility to provide honest, competent, and accountable leadership. It simply recognizes that national progress cannot be entrusted to political leaders alone.
A better nation cannot be built by citizens who continually search for political saviors while neglecting their own character, competence, discipline, and responsibilities. We must demand better leaders—but we must also strive to become better people.
The journey toward a better nation does not begin only in palaces, government offices, or polling places. It also begins quietly within every person who chooses to become more principled, capable, disciplined, and responsible.
I didn’t write this book believing it would reach millions. I wrote it believing that if even one person reads it and becomes who they were meant to be, that ripple is worth every year it took to finish.
Pause and Reflect
Where do you see your own growth already spilling over into someone else’s life?
One Step Forward
Think of one person your growth could affect today. Do or say one thing for them that reflects who you’re becoming.
Better Self… Better Life… Better Nation.
M.A.D. LIGAYA
M.A.D. L I G A Y A 