Category Archives: Fate
When The Rain Falls (9)
Chapter 9 – “The Reckoning”
“Hello… hello… what’s happening in there?” The voices outside grew louder, the banging on the gate more insistent.
Elena and her mother trembled in fear, clinging to each other as the sound of footsteps approached. My hand shook as I opened the gate, revealing several men, including the head of the village.
“Elena… we heard gunshots, so we came over,” said one of the men, his voice rough with concern.
“Sir,” Elena replied, her voice barely a whisper, “please go into the room.”
I stood rooted to the spot, wishing to disappear, hoping it was all a nightmare. The reality of the scene pierced me deeply.
“Son, what have you done?” His mother embraced Daniel, her voice breaking.
“Daniel, why?” Elena’s voice was a fragile echo.
“Forgive me, Mother… Elena… It’s so hard to accept. It hurts so much,” Daniel sobbed.
One of the men said, “Camille is dead.”
The weight of those words drove me to the bathroom. I locked myself inside, the rain outside mirroring my tears. Sadness and regret consumed me. How did it come to this? What kind of person am I?
What did I feel after everything that happened? Who did I blame? If only I had agreed to leave Sagada with her. Maybe she would still be alive. I chose to stay for Elena and our unborn child, but that choice led to death and tragedy. If I had chosen differently, it could have been avoided?
For me, saying what happened is God’s will is the most foolish thing to do. God has nothing to do with what happened. Deep down, I knew the truth. All these happened because of the wrong decisions we made. It all started that day when both of us did not bring umbrellas. A decision that made us seek refuge in that hut. We decided to give in to the temptation when our lips accidentally touched when I needed to warm your body to save you from hypothermia. We decided to give in a second time to that temptation when again we met in that hut.
Daniel went quietly with the police officers who came over to investigate what happened. They consider it unnecessary to bring your body to the hospital for autopsy. They instead called people from a funeral service to take your corpse to a funeral home.
While all those things are happening, the heavy rain continued to pour, the wind howling, the storm refusing to pass.
By nightfall, the house was empty, except for Elena, her mother, and me. The silence was heavy, punctuated only by the occasional sob. I couldn’t approach Elena. A wall of guilt and shame prevent me from doing so.
Should I confess to Elena and her mother what happened between Camille and me? Should I reveal that I was the father of her unborn child? The weight of my secret pressed down on me. I considered staying silent, letting you take the secret to her grave.
“Mom, we should inform Camille’s parents and siblings in Pangasinan about what happened,” Elena said, her voice breaking the silence.
“Yes, Elena. It would be worse if they found out from someone else. They will take Camille’s body back to Pangasinan once they find out what really happened.”
“Yes, you’re right. I don’t expect them to let Camille be buried here in Sagada.”
“Alright, contact them. I’ll speak to Camille’s parents.”
“Do you have any contact numbers of anybody from Camille’s family?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Wait, one of Camille’s cousins is actually my friend on Facebook. I’ll message them and ask for a contact number.”
Elena grabbed her cellphone from the top of the fridge. “Oh no, my battery is low. Dad, can I borrow your laptop? I’ll use it to log into Facebook.”
I took my laptop from the room and handed it to Elena. Then, I stepped out onto the terrace, wrestling with my thoughts. Should I confess everything? The wrong decisions haunted me. Lives had been ruined because of me. Would Elena and her family forgive me if they knew my role in the tragedy? Will there be forgiveness for me? myself?
Then suddenly, I remembered the picture I took of you sleeping in the hut. Panic surged through me as I realized I hadn’t deleted it. I rushed back to the living room. Elena was not there.
“Mom, where’s Elena?” I asked, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice.
“She went to my room.”
I found Elena sitting on the floor, staring blankly at your picture on my laptop’s desktop. I was cornered with no place to hide.
“Mommy, let me explain,” I began, but Elena’s eyes, filled with shock and tears, cut through me.
I told her everything, from the rain that brought us together in the hut to the plan to leave Sagada. I left nothing out. Her face transformed from shock to anger as she listened, her tears drying up, replaced by a steely resolve.
“Are you done explaining?” she asked, her voice cold.
I nodded.
“Let’s keep this quiet, Jeff. Only the two of us should know about you and Camille.”
For a moment, I felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe she would forgive me.
“I don’t want to add more to the sorrows and disappointments of my mother. She might not be able to take it.”
“Thank you, Mommy,” I said, moving to hug her, but she pushed me away.
“Don’t thank me. I’m not finished. I want you gone by the time Mom and I wake up tomorrow. I’ll come up with a story about your disappearance. Maybe I’ll say you were kidnapped by rebels. Or I’ll say the police took you away because you’re a drug addict. Addict? Yeah, you are.”
“Mommy,” I pleaded.
“Don’t call me that anymore. I don’t want to hear any kind of endearment from a fucking moron like you. You’re a monster. I am wondering how will you be able to sleep at night with what you have done.”
I bowed my head in shame.
“Don’t bow your head. Look at me when I’m talking to you.”
I shook my head, unwilling to meet her gaze.
“I said look at me. Damn it, look at me…” she demanded.
I complied, meeting her fierce, tear-filled eyes.
“Take all your things with you, including the t-shirt you gave to that woman. Sleeping with the fairies is fun, right? Come on, answer her question now. Wasn’t it good? Did you enjoy it? Who f – – ks better… me or Camille?”
“Elena… please…”
I tried to hug her again, but she slapped me, twice. The sting of her hand felt like a physical manifestation of my guilt and shame, piercing my soul.
From now on, everything is over between us. You will never see my child, and I will never introduce you as the father.”
“Mommy… sorry… please forgive me.”
“If your apology could change everything that happened, then I would forgive you. But it can’t, can it? Will you be able to sleep at night? Do you know the extent of what you’ve done? You’re worse than an animal. I wish you had died along with that damn woman.”
I knelt before her, ready to beg, but she turned her back on me and left the room.
“Get out so my mom can rest.”
**********
I left Elena’s house early in the morning, slipping out quietly. At the gate, I turned around, hoping Elena would call me back, but she didn’t. The rain had stopped, but the wind still blew. The streetlights cast long shadows as I walked, carrying all my belongings. When I passed a trash bin, I threw away a bag of old clothes to lighten my load.
There was no vehicle I could take to leave the area, so I decided to walk until I reached the street leading to the mini rice terraces. There was a bit more light, so I took one last look at the terraced fields.
I walked until I saw the hut where it all began. I approached it and went inside. My body and mind were tired, so I decided to rest for a while.
As I was about to lie down, I heard the rain start to fall. I closed the window. As I was about to close the door, I remembered you.
I slowly closed the hut’s door.
I waited, hoping you would push it open to come in and join me once more.
And then the heavy rain poured down.
~ E N D ~
M.A.D. LIGAYA
M.A.D. L I G A Y A 