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What Matters (5)
(A Short Story – Fifth of 6 Parts)
“Why are you talking like that, bro? You’ve been acting strange all day,” I said to Jay.
Jay lowered his head and sighed deeply. We all waited anxiously for him to respond. It felt like an eternity before he finally spoke again.
“Guys, I have prostate cancer. Stage 1.”
Chris shook his head in disbelief while Mario placed an arm around Jay’s shoulders. I wasn’t too surprised by this revelation; I had a feeling Jay was struggling with something like this because he had hinted at health issues before.
“That’s why, Mario, when I saw your Facebook post about your vacation and we just happened to run into each other, I asked if we could all get together. I thought… I thought maybe…”
Jay’s voice trailed off, tears brimming in his eyes, raw and vulnerable.
“Well, it turns out Mario’s not the most dramatic among us… It’s you, Jay. But it’s not the end of the world. There’s a cure for that.”
Chris expressed his thoughts bluntly, and while I almost wanted to chastise him for it, he did have a valid point. Hearing about Jay’s struggles was disheartening, but he had no choice but to confront the situation head-on.
“I’m terrified because my dad lost his battle with prostate cancer. I fear I might have inherited it,” Jay confessed.
We fell silent, absorbing Jay’s vulnerable admission. Mario and Chris chimed in, revealing their own health challenges. Both struggled with high blood pressure and kidney issues that required significant medication. Chris even shared that if his treatment didn’t clear his kidney stone, surgery could be on the horizon.
One thing I am grateful for is that I don’t have any health problems that require doctor visits or medication. Since I’ve been driving for a living, I’ve been following a health program on the radio and adhering to all the advice I hear. The only issues I face are occasional knee and back pain after working on the farm.
“Don’t worry, bro. I’ll take you to a great urologist I know at St. Luke’s. We’ll find a way to fix this. I’ll help you,” Mario assured Jay.
“Thanks, Mario. Thanks, guys. I feel a little better now that I’ve shared this with you. You’re the only ones who know about my condition.”
“Wait, your wife and kids aren’t aware of this yet?” Chris asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise.
“Mon… Jay’s still single,” Mario chimed in, a hint of concern in his voice.
It struck me how little I really knew about my friends. If I were more connected on social media, perhaps I’d be more in tune with their lives.
“Jay, you can do this. I know you’re strong. You’ll be better by the time we meet again on Mario’s next trip home,” Chris said as he opened more bottles of beer and offered me one.
“I’ll pass, Chris. I still have some left in mine,” I replied.
“Oh, come on, Mon, don’t cheat again,” he teased.
Their laughter filled the room, but they respected my limits when it came to drinking. They understood that while they could down three beers in the time it took me to finish one, I didn’t handle hard liquor well.
“Next week, we’re going to address your issue, Jay,” Mario declared, his tone a blend of seriousness and support. “But right now, I need to concentrate on something else…” He suddenly hesitated, as if grappling with whether to share more. I could sense that he was carrying an emotional weight. Could it be time for Mario to reveal his own struggles?
“Sorry… I need to focus on wrapping up the case I filed against my wife.” Just as I anticipated.
“Yes, I filed for adultery against her three years ago, and the judgment is coming next week. That woman and her lover are about to face the consequences,” Mario explained with palpable intensity.
He recounted the entire saga: the man who betrayed him was their business partner, and his wife had been unfaithful for nearly a decade before he uncovered the truth. A mutual friend had stepped up, alerting him to the betrayal through a Facebook message.
“Do you have kids? What did they say about it?” Jay asked.
“They’re furious with their mother. They couldn’t care less if she goes to jail. We have two sons, both college graduates and engineers. They work alongside me in Saudi Arabia, and my employers have recognized their talents as well.”
The conversation shifted into deeper territory as we focused on the topic of family. I wasn’t surprised by the struggles Mario and his wife faced; it’s a reality many couples encounter when one partner works abroad. While the opportunity for a better future exists through such arrangements, they can also lead to complications if the spouse left at home cannot resist temptation.
“By the way, Mon… Chris… do either of you have families?” Mario inquired, genuinely curious.
I nodded in response, eager to share about my family, but Chris jumped in before I could.
“I have two kids… but no wife.”
Chris seemed to be beaming in confidence when he said that. He stopped abruptly and looked at us.
“Why? Did you guys not even react? I said I have two kids… but no wife.”
“Come on, Chris, we’re not surprised by that anymore. I was even thinking that you have more than 5 children from different women.” Jay retorted. “We know you chase women for a living.”
“Actually, I’m in hot water again. Another woman is demanding child support from me. She says she’s going to sue if I don’t step up. I told her it’s time for a DNA test; she needs to prove I’m the father,” Chris replied, a hint of annoyance coloring his voice.
“Suit yourself, bro. Just be careful—you might end up with more than you bargained for, like HIV, hopping from one ‘hole’ to another,” Jay cautioned, his tone tinged with genuine concern.
“Mario, I’m a wise guy. I always use protection when I’m not sure of the ‘owner’ of the hole I’m entering,” Chris shot back, grinning cheekily.
“What about the two kids you’ve already recognized as yours?” Jay asked.
“They’re with me. Their mothers don’t want to take care of them, so my live-in partner is helping me raise them.”
Chris didn’t seem fazed by the complexity of his life. It seemed as though he was okay with the messiness of things. I didn’t want to judge him, but I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of life his two kids would have with two different mothers. And now, there was a possibility that it might be three kids. What if his live-in partner got pregnant? If Chris were my brother, I’d probably have slapped him back to his senses.
I didn’t get a chance to talk about my family because the conversation shifted to Chris’s chaotic love life. We advised him to straighten up, especially for the sake of his kids.
The drinking continued, and conversations flowed easily. By around six in the evening, we were surrounded by empty beer bottles, and Mario’s Chivas was nearly finished too. Jay and Chris seemed a bit tipsy, while Chris eventually grew quiet and appeared close to nodding off. Every time he started to snore, Jay would nudge him to wake him up. Surprisingly, Mario seemed unaffected; he was clearly used to drinking. I had only managed to finish three bottles of beer, with half a bottle still remaining, so I was doing fine. Eventually, it was just Mario and me left talking.
Jay and Chris got out of the jeep. While Jay went to a nearby tree to relieve himself, Chris ended up throwing up. I went over to rub Chris’s back to help him. At that moment, my phone rang—it was my wife calling.
“Excuse me, guys. My wife’s calling,” I said.
“Uh-oh, trouble’s coming. The commander’s on a roll call,” Chris joked.
To be continued…
What Matters (4)
(A Short Story – Fourth of 6 Parts)
Mario got out of his car, carrying a plastic bag. He was also wearing a long-sleeve shirt, just like Jay, but without a tie.
“Bro, finally, we’re all together again,” Mario said, his voice a little choked up as he hugged each of us one by one.
“Damn, bro, you’re still so dramatic,” Chris said.
“No, he’s just missed us,” Jay replied.
“Wait, let’s sit first. Wow, I think these are the same rocks we used to sit on when we used to hang out here,” Mario said.
Mario opened the plastic bag he was carrying.
“This is for you, Jay. It’s a perfume. I know how much you love fragrances. And Mon, I got you a new phone—it’s a Galaxy S25 Ultra, the latest from Samsung.”
“Wow, bro, this is too much. This is expensive,” I said.
“It’s fine, Mon. Don’t worry about it. Jay told me yesterday when I called him that your phone looks old,” Mario replied.
Jay and I both hugged Mario and thanked him sincerely.
“Perfect timing! I should make a Facebook account for you, bro,” Chris said. “And what’s this? What’s in here?”
“It’s Viagra.”
We all laughed at what Mario had said.
“Hey, just so you know, I don’t need Viagra. Mine is always standing at attention whenever I command it. It tends to get excited whenever I see pretty women.”
“Is that so?” Jay challenged, raising an eyebrow. “What I learned in psychology is that guys who boast about their prowess are the ones suffering from ED.”
“ED? As in Echo Delta? What does that mean?” Chris asked.
“Erectile dysfunction,” I clarified, keeping the mood light.
Another round of laughter ensued
“As if you don’t know me, boys.”
“Come on, Chris, we know you too well,” Jay teased.
“It’s not Viagra; it’s a watch. A G-Shock,” Mario interjected.
What Jay and Chris said about Mario was true. He must have a good job in Saudi Arabia. I was happy for my friends; they had achieved their dreams. It’s tough to predict what will happen in a person’s future. You can never be sure what will become of your classmates and friends when you all go your separate ways after high school or college. It’s not necessarily true that only those who top the class—the valedictorians and honorees—will have the best future. No one can say for sure if the best students from the past will be the ones who succeed and prosper, as seen in the cases of Chris and Mario.
Truth be told, they were lazy students and considered the class slackers, often absent from school. Jay was the smartest of our group, while Mario was the weakest academically; however, out of the three of us, he was the wealthiest. He had the nicest car and treated the gifts he brought for us as if they were nothing special.
“Hey, Mon, I think I’m going to melt from your gaze. Stop staring at me like that,” Mario said.
“Sorry bro. You’re just truly impressive.” I responded, admiring his enthusiasm.
“Wait, wait… now that we’re all here, let’s take some pictures. It’s groupie time, guys!” Chris exclaimed.
The three of them took turns snapping pictures of the group. We acted like kids, scrambling to get into position.
“Great news! The pictures are live on Facebook,” Jay announced with a grin. “Don’t worry, Mon, I’ll get your account set up soon, and you can check them out. By the way, check out my profile pic! Still looking sharp, right?”
“Hold on, though. I’m getting pretty hungry. Can we grab a snack first?” Mario chimed in.
“Aren’t we supposed to hit the basketball court?” Chris teased, raising an eyebrow.
“Let’s do that next time. I didn’t bring my jerseys.” Jay suggested.
“Hey, Mon, I think I’m going to melt from your gaze. Stop staring at me!”
“Yeah, I’m hungry too,” Chris agreed. “Hey, Mon, where’s a good restaurant around here? You probably know a lot since you drive here every day.”
“Actually, I want LTB, Chris. Why venture far when Mang Isko’s lugawan is just a stone’s throw away?” Mario pointed to the familiar lugawan we used to frequent.”Wow, how cheap… lugaw, tokwa, baboy.”
“Alright, Chris, if you have your heart set on a restaurant, go ahead. But I’m all for Mang Isko’s lugawan, Mario. Mon, let’s indulge in some delicious LTB!”
Jay started walking toward the lugawan, and Mario and I followed.
“Hey, wait, I’m coming too! LTB sounds great,” Chris said.
We had the lugawan to ourselves, and it was sad to find out that Nanay Mameng and Mang Isko had passed away. Their children were now running the store and lugawan.
As the three of them sat down, I waited for our LTB order. I watched my friends happily chatting. Among the three, Jay looked the oldest, with a lot of gray hair. He was probably stressed from all the work and studying he did, which made his hair turn gray quickly. I checked the mirror hanging by the door of the lugawan to see if I had any gray hairs yet. Thankfully, I didn’t. Mario and Chris each had a few gray hairs, but Mario’s forehead had also become wider, possibly due to the heat in Saudi Arabia that caused his hair to fall out.
Chris stood up and took a selfie, showing his playful side. He even got one with me. He is taller than all of us. He always played center whenever our section formed teams in high school. Although Jay was the shortest of the four of us, he was also the most handsome, with a mestizo appearance. Mario and I were about the same height.
With the lugawan’s self-service setup, I stepped up to fetch our orders when they were finally ready, eager to enjoy and strengthen our bond over good food and great company.
“Wow, it’s been ages since I last had LTB,” Mario exclaimed. “But wait, Mon… are you just having lugaw with egg?”I nodded in response.
“Are you on a diet?” Chris inquired. “That’s probably the reason your belly isn’t bulging like mine, which makes me look like I’m pregnant.”
“Yeah, right,” Jay interjected. “And have you noticed, Chris? Mon’s chest and arms are getting bigger.”
“I’m just buff from driving and working in the fields, brothers,” I replied with a smile.
“What about you, Jay? Why do you look like you’ve lost weight?” Mario asked.
“Well… I think it’s probably due to lack of sleep. I’ve been buried in paperwork. The life of a school administrator is tough,” Jay admitted.
Though we had simple food, our spirits were high. They even ordered another round of LTB, but I was fine with just one. While we ate, we reminisced about all the crazy things we did back in high school. It was a fun conversation filled with laughter and teasing.
After we finished eating, Chris and Mario suggested going out for a drink.
“I know a karaoke bar in the next town that’s open from 3:00 PM until dawn. Let’s make it a night to remember—come on, we’ve got cars!” Chris said, his excitement infectious.
“Let’s not go there, bro. The trip is long, and it would be a waste of time. It would be better if we just bought some beer at the store and drank inside Mon’s jeep. It’s more refreshing, and the experience will be unique,” Jay suggested.
“Yeah, you’re right, Jay. Let’s not go far so we can keep chatting,” Mario agreed.
“Okay, okay, of course, the majority wins. Here’s Mon. He won’t vote; he’s always neutral. Alright, I’ll go buy the beer so we can start right away.”
So, as Jay suggested, we ended up drinking inside my jeep. He was right; it was indeed a unique experience—drinking inside a jeep. Chris bought the beer, and I picked up some peanuts and chicharrón to go with it. Thankfully, I had cleaned the jeep after my last trip. We were delighted when Mario also took out his Chivas Regal and imported cheddar from his car. He even had a shot glass! Chris grabbed a case of beer.
“Well, just like before, no one leaves until this is finished… and Mario’s Chivas too. I also bought plastic cups and ice cubes in case you want it cold,” Chris said as he passed us the open beer.
“To our reunion of handsome guys… CHEERS!” Jay said.
That’s how our drinking started, and our never-ending conversation continued.
“Why did we only think about meeting up now?” Mario asked. “Let’s make this a regular thing. Otherwise, it’ll probably take another 25 years before we do it again. How should we do it? What about every two years, whenever I’m on vacation? Or maybe every four years?”
“Not every four years… I might not make it!” Jay said.
We suddenly went quiet.
To be continued…
What Matters (3)
(A Short Story – Third of 6 Parts)
Chris stood up and stretched. Jay lit another cigarette. He offered one to Chris.
“Oh no, Doc Jay,” Chris said, taking the cigarette. “Don’t you know that smoking is harmful to your health? You should quit smoking.”
“It’s too late,” Jay replied.
Chris and I exchanged a glance after hearing that.
“Too late for what bro?” Chris asked.
“Come on… just kidding. What I mean is, it’s too hard for me to quit now,” Jay said.
I couldn’t shake the feeling of uncertainty about whether Jay was joking or being serious with his comment. Chris pocketed the cigarette Jay had handed him, choosing not to light it.
I observed Jay closely and noticed how thin and pale he looked.
“Are you really okay, bro?” I asked, genuinely concerned.
Jay simply nodded, but his reluctance to discuss his health spoke volumes.
“Speaking of health, have you heard about Mario? He’s now an engineer and has been working in Saudi Arabia. I saw it on his Facebook,” Chris mentioned.
“Absolutely, Chris,” Jay confirmed. “Mario is doing incredibly well. It seems he hit the jackpot in Saudi Arabia, working at an oil refinery. He’s back in the Philippines now, and when I met up with Mon, I thought it would be a fantastic opportunity for all of us to get together. He only has about a month for his vacation.”
I thought that this was the perfect chance for us to reconnect and celebrate his success!
Chris turned to me. “How about you, Mon? Why couldn’t I find you on Facebook? You’re probably using an alias, huh?!”
I couldn’t help but smile.
“Mon isn’t really into social media, Chris,” Jay remarked. “Unlike you, who’s completely hooked on Facebook.”
“Hooked, really? You’re the one who updates your profile picture almost every couple of days!”
“Wow… sounds like someone’s stalking me?” Jay teased playfully.
“Absolutely! I want to stay in the loop with my friends. Speaking of which, Mon, have you ever thought about getting a Facebook account? I’d be happy to help you set it up.”
“No, thanks. We have an Internet connection at home, but I can’t see any reason why I should do it.”
“Can you make us the reason? From now on, we should stay in touch from time to time. We have to catch up on a lot of things. You’re missing Jay’s educational content. I promise, you’ll learn a lot from those. You could also subscribe to my YouTube channel.”
“Come on, Chris, let Mon be. If he doesn’t want to do social media, that’s his choice.”
“Just give me your cell phone number, Chris, so we can stay connected. I’ve already got Jay’s.”
“Here you go.” Chris handed me his business card. “Just give me a missed call so I can save your number. But don’t worry, I’m still going to help you set up a Facebook account. I’ll even send you the password once it’s ready. By the way, do you have an email?”
“I don’t have an email. I don’t have a Google account.”
“Wow, Mon, you’re really living in the past! But don’t worry, I’ll handle everything for you. All give you all the details later, then decide whether you want to live in the 21st century or stay in the Jurassic Age.”
“Chris, just give Mon time, okay. I am pretty sure he will consider it.”
I nodded, fully aware that Chris was resolute and wouldn’t back down.
“Hold on, I want to ask one more thing. Jay, you have a PhD, Mario is a skilled engineer, and I hold degrees in IT and an MBA. What about you, Mon? What did you major in?”
With a playful grin, I replied, “I earned a Bachelor of Science in Driving and Farming.”
“Huh? Is there such a degree?” Chris asked, puzzled.
“Oh, absolutely… it’s offered at the University of Hard Knocks,” Jay chimed in, clearly enjoying the moment.
I recognized Jay’s humor and appreciated how he was helping me make fun of Chris.
“University of Hard Knocks? Where can I sign up for that?” Chris joked, clearly intrigued.
Chris looked even more confused.
“Listen, we realize that the best lessons often come from real-life experiences. That’s what Jay was getting at with the idea of the ‘University of Hard Knocks,'” I said, emphasizing my point.
“Keep in mind that Mon didn’t attend college,” Jay chimed in, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “But if memory serves, Mon’s grades were actually higher than yours and Mario’s. Just saying.”
“Alright, I get it. You were excellent students. You were good at English. Mario and I were scraping the bottom of the barrel,” Chris said.
“Honestly, you two were just being lazy back then. Mon and I spent countless hours in the library, immersed in books and tackling assignments,” Jay pointed out.
“Hold on!” Chris suddenly cut in. “I can already see where this is going, bro… you’re about to say Mon was the only one who didn’t copy off you during tests.”
“And yet, you don’t really grasp what ‘University of Hard Knocks’ means,” Jay added with a smirk.
“Okay, okay, I’ll concede… you really are the smart ones.”
“You said it, not me,” Jay chuckled, his laughter echoing the light-hearted teasing among us. I couldn’t help but smile at the camaraderie shared between my friends. It crossed my mind to remind them that I had consistently ranked in the top 10 of our class throughout all four years and had even achieved the highest score on the NSAT among the four of us. However, the thought of bringing it up felt a bit awkward.
“Honestly, if you had taken the scholarship exam with us back then, I have no doubt you would have aced it. After all, even Chris passed, and you would have certainly done better,” Jay confidently asserted.
“I just got lucky,” Chris interjected, downplaying his success.
Back then, my dream was to attend college, and I was determined to take the scholarship exam to study in Manila. However, I chose to put my aspirations on hold to support my father on our farm. Farming was not just our livelihood; it was our way of life. As my father grew older, he needed my help more than ever. Meanwhile, my mother worked hard selling fish and vegetables in the market.
As the eldest of four siblings and the only son, I felt a deep sense of duty to my family. I understood that our parents couldn’t possibly afford to send all of us to college at the same time. So, I made the difficult decision to prioritize my siblings’ education over my own. Two of them successfully graduated, marking a proud achievement for our family.
However, life took an unexpected turn for my youngest sister. She became pregnant by her seaman boyfriend just a year before her graduation. Despite the challenges, they got married and have built a good life together. This journey has taught me the importance of sacrifice and the lasting impact of family.
“Oh, by the way… What do you do now, Mon?” Chris asked.
“I drive a jeep and manage the farm that was passed down to me from my father. How about you?”
“I work as a systems supervisor at a BPO in Ortigas, and on top of that, I’m a freelance website developer. I purchased this car using the profits from the websites I’ve created and maintained.”
“Wow, Chris has hit it big! He even has two condo units in Quezon City,” Jay commented.
“You’re the real success story here, Doc Jay. The lady guard in your school mentioned that she heard that your salary grade is 23 as dean of that local college.”
“Did you buy into that? That was just hearsay!”
“Absolutely! Besides, you’re always broadcasting live on Facebook whenever you’re speaking at seminars. I can only imagine how well you’re compensated for that. I also checked on the Internet how much the equivalent of that salary grade is.”
“Wow! Looks like we have a Marites in our midst Mon.”
“Hey, Mon, don’t mind Jay. Check this out—Jay’s Facebook cover showcasing his delightful little nipa hut!”
I turned to see what Chris was excited about. To my surprise, Jay’s house was not just charming, but also impressively large and beautiful.
“I’m still making payments on that,” Jay added with a hint of pride.
It filled me with joy to see how far Jay and Chris had come. Their dedication and hard work have truly paid off.
“How about you, Mon? Where’s home for you now?” Chris inquired.
“I’m still in the same place.”
“Really? You mean that old house? The one we used to hang out in?”
“Yes, Chris. Along with the farm, the house, and the land were passed down to me from my late parents.”
“That’s a relief that your siblings didn’t contest it,” Jay commented.
“Absolutely. They’ve all built great lives for themselves—married well, have their own properties, and good careers. I’ve offered them help, but they’ve graciously declined. Instead, they’re the ones showering me and my family with gifts whenever they come to visit.” I replied, feeling a mix of pride and nostalgia.
“You’re fortunate. You have great sisters. My siblings and I are still embroiled in a bitter struggle over the land and house our parents left us.”
“Chris, it’s time to move on. You have more than enough money now, plus you own two condos.”
“Jay, my siblings are significantly wealthier than I am. Ideally, the house and land should have been left to me. We could really end up in a legal battle over this.”
I wasn’t shocked to hear Chris discussing the turmoil surrounding family inheritances. It’s tragic how some families can become so divided that they resort to extreme measures, even violence, over property. I consider myself lucky that my siblings have allowed me to keep our share. Regardless, I make it a point to share my harvest of rice and vegetables with them.
Our conversation was abruptly interrupted when we spotted a sleek black Mercedes-Benz pulling up in front of us. Mario had finally arrived.
To be continued…
What Matters (2)
(A Short Story – Second of 6 Parts)
Every time we planned a get-together, it was a predictable pattern. Jay was always the first to show up, eager and ready for the fun to begin. I followed closely behind, but Chris and Mario seemed to have a knack for arriving late, occasionally switching between being third and last. Their tardiness became a running joke among us, but it also made us appreciate those moments when we were all together just a little bit more.
I got off the jeep and walked over to Jay’s car. He opened the door and let me in.
I checked my watch—it was already half past two, and I wasn’t late. The moment I stepped into Jay’s car, I was greeted by an exquisite scent, far from the typical air freshener smell. This was something unique, a fragrance that hinted at luxury, perhaps even an expensive perfume.
In stark contrast, I couldn’t shake off the lingering odor of rubbing alcohol that clung to me. Jay, on the other hand, presented a polished image in his long-sleeved shirt and tie, likely having just come from a meeting. It was clear: whether by necessity or preference, he had a habit of dressing to impress when meeting others.
“Let’s stay inside for now; it’s sweltering outside,” Jay suggested. “This gives us the perfect chance to catch up! How have you been? What’s new in your life since high school?”
“Oh, I don’t really have anything exciting to share. I just stayed here in our town. I drive a Jeep and work on our farm. I didn’t get the chance to go to college,” I paused, reflecting on the reasons I missed that opportunity. “You go ahead, sir. Please tell your story first, and I’ll continue later.”
Jay shared his inspiring educational journey, demonstrating how determination can lead to extraordinary achievements. With relentless effort, he earned both his Master’s and PhD, showcasing his remarkable intellect. It’s truly impressive that he has risen to the position of dean at a prominent college in the nearby town—the very institution to which I frequently drive students. His story is a testament to the power of hard work and dedication!
He had connections with Chris and Mario because they were friends on Facebook, and he shared that they had been trying to locate me on social media for quite some time. But it’s no surprise they couldn’t find me; I don’t have a Facebook account or engage in any social media. I’ve always felt that I don’t need it. Instead, I immerse myself in the world of newspapers. Every day, I buy the Philippine Star and Tempo, and I dive into them while waiting for passengers. When I’m behind the wheel of my Jeep, I tune into the radio, and at home, I enjoy watching TV. I believe this keeps me well-informed about what’s happening around me. I’m aware of platforms like Facebook and YouTube because I see my kids using the computer, and I occasionally catch viral videos on TV. In a way, I stay connected and current without relying on social media.
We had been chatting for almost 20 minutes, and Chris and Mario still hadn’t arrived.
“They’re taking forever.”
“They have not changed. Those two are always late whenever we have a meet-up, sir.”
“Could you please stop calling me sir? This is the second time you’ve done it. I’m really not sure why you’ve started being so formal. It would mean a lot to me if you just called me Jay.”
“Well, you’re a doctor and the dean of a college. You should be addressed formally.”
“Alright, I understand. When you’re at school and in the presence of others, you can address me as ‘Sir.’ However, in this setting, let’s keep it casual—just call me Jay.”
“Okay, doc.”
“Ahh… now it’s doc? What is this now? Geez. Come on, let’s get out. I need a smoke.”
We both got out of Jay’s car and sat on the big rocks surrounding the acacia tree. It was one of the few acacia trees still around the basketball court where we used to play when we were in high school. The sari-sari store and the “lugawan” beside the court were still there.
Jay offered me a cigarette. I declined. I never learned to smoke.
“You don’t smoke?” Jay said. “Good for you. I wish I hadn’t learned to.”
“Huh? Why?”
He looked at me.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Just forget about it.”
I could tell Jay wanted to say something. He suddenly seemed down. He lit his cigarette.
“Jay, that board looks really old. It might fall apart anytime. And the ring is hanging loosely.”
“Yeah, it looks like it hasn’t been replaced. That’s probably the same board and ring we used when we used to come here to play.”
“I think you’re right.”
“Well, there’s a new sports center near the town hall now, so the basketball players just play there.”
“At least Nanay Mameng’s store and Mang Isko’s lugawan have improved. Look, their place is now made of concrete.”
“Oh, I didn’t notice that earlier. Before, it was made of bamboo and nipa.”
I pass by this place almost every day, but I never noticed that they had changed the structure of the store and the lugawan.
“Do you think Nanay Mameng and Mang Isko are still around?”
“We’ll find out later, Jay.”
“Yeah, when I finish this cigarette, we’ll check on them. By the way, do you still play basketball?”
“Sometimes, when I’m not driving the jeep. There’s a court in our barangay, near my house. I join when they have a league.”
After Jay finished his first cigarette, we saw a car approaching. It stopped right in front of us, and the window slowly rolled down.
“Hello, ladies…” It was Chris. “Wait, bros, let me park this properly.”
Jay parked his new-looking car next to my jeep. My jeep was between Jay and Chris’s cars. Both were Honda Civics – Jay’s was black, and Chris’s was red.
Chris got out of the car. We were both wearing polo shirts, jeans, and rubber shoes. His looked new, while mine was a bit worn out.
“Whose junk is this? It might infect my car,” Chris said.
“Idiot, that’s Mon’s,” Jay said.
“Oh, sorry, bro. I didn’t realize it was yours.”
“No problem, bro.”
“Same old Chris… tactless,” Jay added.
“So, how have you been, bro?”
Jay and I both gave him a thumbs-up.
“And the playboy, how’s he doing?” Jay asked.
“Playboy? You’re the playboy. I heard you have a student girlfriend.”
“Come on, Chris, we’re different. I don’t shit where I eat. Having an affair with a student is a dangerous game I will never play. I am not like you… skirt-chaser.”
“Really!?” I asked.
“Yes Mon. He even tried to hit on our lady guard at school.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“She told me. You asked for her number when you visited me at school.”
“Okay, okay. She’s a hot mama, that lady guard. She has a great… bumper.”
“Anyway, how many of our high school classmates did you date when you started working?”
“Hey, Jay… just three: Aida, Lorna, and Fe.”
“Come on. Those are names in a song.” I exclaimed.
“I can’t tell you their real names. You know them. I am no kiss-and-tell guy.”
Jay asked, “For real? Three of our high school classmates?”
“What was I supposed to do? They were the ones who contacted me and chased me.”
After saying that, Chris sat in between Jay and me.
“Wow, you smell really good, bro. Looks like you used perfume to shower earlier.”
“I just used cheap cologne,” Jay replied.
“Mon, what’s that smell? Damn, it’s alcohol… you’re using rubbing alcohol as cologne?”
“Yeah, bro. Green Cross rubbing alcohol.” I just went along with Chris’s teasing. That’s how he was. He liked to joke around.
“I miss you guys so much,” Chris said, putting his arms around both Jay and me.
“Now we’re just waiting for Mario,” Jay said.
“Wait, let’s take a groupie,” Chris said, setting up his phone.
“We’ll do it later, when Mario gets here, so we’ll be complete,” Jay suggested.
To be continued…
What Matters (1)
(A Short Story – First of 6 Parts)
I gently pressed the brake and quickly got out to assist the elderly woman who was slowly and painfully getting off. I also helped her climb into my passenger jeep earlier. I was confident that the other passengers didn’t mind the brief delay. They understood the situation. She looked so vulnerable, and I found myself wishing that a family member had been there to accompany her.
“Thank you so much, hijo. I feel incredibly fortunate to have found your jeep,” she said gratefully.
“It’s nothing, nanay. I’m just glad you chose my vehicle, even if it’s a bit old,” I replied.
“It looks just fine, hijo. And you’re a truly good driver,” she insisted.
“Thank you, nanay. Please take good care of yourself.”
She was my last passenger for the day, and as I removed the signboards from the front windshield, I made a deliberate choice to prevent anyone else from hailing me.
Although it was still just a little past noon, I was ready to call it a day. I was about to meet up with my closest high school friends—Jay, Chris, and Mario—after nearly 20 years. Over the years, there had been a few occasions when two of them would meet, but never all three together, and certainly not with me. The anticipation buzzed through me, filling me with excitement. This wasn’t just a simple reunion; it felt like a celebration of the memories we shared, a nostalgic journey back to a time when our lives were still unfolding.
It was Jay who took the lead in organizing our long-overdue reunion. Just a week ago, I found myself face-to-face with a familiar figure who flagged me down in a moment of need—his car had broken down. While I could have driven past, something about that face compelled me to stop. As I stepped out of the jeep, our eyes locked, and I was taken aback when he enthusiastically called my name. It was Jay! In an instant, we reverted to our old ways, shaking hands firmly before playfully locking arms as if preparing for a friendly wrestling match. That spark of connection ignited memories of our carefree high school days. I had no idea that this chance encounter would pave the way for rekindling friendships that have withstood the test of time. Jay’s proposed reunion promises to be an incredibly meaningful experience, and I can’t wait to see how much we’ve all transformed and grown over the years.
We were excitedly catching up while I worked on his car’s discharged battery. Jay was in a hurry because he had a meeting to attend, so we didn’t have much time to talk. Once I fixed his car, Jay pulled out some money from his wallet and tried to hand it to me. I refused to accept it. He then apologized for two reasons. First, he explained that he wanted to pay me because he knew I was on the road picking up passengers, and he felt that his car troubles had taken up my time and cost me an opportunity to earn. Second, he apologized for the inconvenience he had caused me. He was surprised when I told him that I had expected he would try to pay for that very reason. I told him that I had also helped other drivers in the past in a similar situation for free.
After that, he took out his phone and asked for my number. He said he had been looking for me for a while. I gave him my number. He dialed it so his number would register on my phone. I saved it, and after promising to call, he quickly got into his car and drove off. He seemed to be in a hurry.
Jay was one of the best in our high school class. He was the leader of our group. I was delighted we met. I had been looking for him and the rest of the gang for a long time.
It seemed that Jay had achieved his dreams. Back then, he often said he wanted to complete his studies, secure a good job, buy a car, and own a house. Now, he had a car and was wearing a coat and tie. His career appeared to be going well. I wasn’t sure if he owned a home or had a family. He probably had a house, but I couldn’t tell about his family situation. It’s a shame we didn’t get to talk for long; I didn’t even have the chance to ask him where he worked or what he did.
By the time I got home, I was still reflecting on that unexpected encounter with Jay. It made me think about my other two friends, Chris and Mario. We spent four years together, from our first year until we graduated from high school. During that time, we often discussed our dreams and life goals, and they all shared similar aspirations: complete their studies, find jobs, save money, buy a car, and own a large house. However, I wasn’t entirely sure, but it seemed that Mario was the one who dreamed of working abroad. I wonder if he ever managed to do that. I hope so.
When they asked me back then what my dream was, they laughed at my answer. I wanted to be happy and live a good life. I wasn’t sure why I said that. Jay said it was vague, to which Mario agreed.
We were still young, and I had no idea what I would do after high school. Perhaps it was because I wasn’t confident that I could attend college, given my parents’ financial struggles. At that time, Chris told me I had no ambitions in life. It was only when I grew a little older and saw my siblings graduating from university that I recalled Chris actually saying I hadn’t dreamed big. Hadn’t I? Now, as we are about to have a reunion, Chris’ words come back to me.
Just then, my phone rang. As promised, Jay called.
We only talked for a short while. He had a visitor. He was calling to tell me he had contacted Chris and Mario, and both agreed to meet up next week, on Saturday around 3 in the afternoon. We were to meet at our old spot.
*****
That day, I would be with my friends again. I stopped at a carinderia for a meal. It was only 1 in the afternoon, so I still had time to eat and rest for a bit.
“Aling Tinay, I’d love to have some menudo and pinakbet, but could you please skip the fat in the menudo?”
“Mon, why do you shy away from fat? You’re the only one of my customers who doesn’t want it.”
“I’m really trying to keep my cholesterol in check.”
“Understandable, but a little indulgence now and then wouldn’t hurt! How much rice would you like?”
“Just one serving, please.”
“Two delicious dishes and only one serving of rice? You’re surprisingly health-conscious for a jeepney driver! Manny, could you please bring a serving of rice for Mon? Just don’t pile too much on; I know he won’t be able to finish it.”
“Yes, Inay,” replied Manny, Aling Tinay’s teenage son.
I just smiled at what Aling Tinay said. My stomach grew bigger when I turned 30, so I eat less rice now. I heard on the radio that eating too much rice can cause your belly to grow, and consuming pork fat is bad for your heart. They even said drinking beer regularly can also make your stomach bigger. Thankfully, I’m not much of a drinker. But with our reunion, I’m sure I’ll end up drinking with them, especially since Chris and Mario will be there. They wouldn’t let us meet without having a drink. Only Jay and I didn’t drink in the group.
“Here’s your water, no ice. I know you don’t drink cold water.”
“Thanks, Aling Tinay.”
That’s one of the reasons I always go to Aling Tinay’s carinderia whenever I have lunch while driving the jeep. She’s kind and attentive to her customers.
“Manny said you seem to be going to the gym now, like him. He said your chest and shoulder are looking great and your biceps are bulging in that t-shirt.”
“No, I don’t. The gym is too expensive. I have some barbells and dumbbells at home made of cement. I use them every morning before I drive or go to the field.”
When I started eating, Aling Tinay stopped talking to me.
It was well past 2 PM by the time I stepped out of the carinderia. I had just enjoyed a comforting cup of coffee, complemented by a few delightful cookies—generous treats from Aling Tinay, who always insisted I take them for free. She would genuinely be disappointed if I turned down her heartfelt offering. Our long-standing friendship made these moments special. She often became one of my earliest passengers in the morning on her way to the market, and I consistently chose to waive her fare, valuing our connection far more than the money.
Before I started the jeep, I wiped my body with a face towel soaked in alcohol. I changed into a new shirt and shoes. I didn’t want to show up smelling like sweat and grease or wearing worn-out slippers when meeting my friends.
In just a few minutes, I would reach our old meeting place—a basketball court near the high school where we graduated. This is where we usually hung out, especially in the afternoons after our classes. The court is located next to a wide field that is stunning to see when the rice plants are ripe and ready for harvest. Many acacia trees were planted around the court, providing shade for our morning and afternoon basketball games. Unfortunately, only a few of these trees remain, as many could not withstand the strong winds from the powerful typhoons that have passed through the area. I hope our friendship is as strong as those remaining trees. I also hope that, like those trees, my friends and I are resilient enough to endure the storms we are sure to encounter in life.
But why did it take so long to meet up, even though our barangays were so close? Maybe the reason was that they studied in Manila while I stopped studying after high school. After completing their studies, they likely found employment and settled in the area.
When I got to the meeting place, Jay was already there. I saw his car, the one that had broken down last week, parked under an acacia tree. I parked my old jeep beside his sleek car.
To be continued…
Edge of the Fall (Part 4)
(A Short Novel)
Light greeted my waking. It hurt my eyes. I closed them again. I felt my body aching all over. When I breathed, there was pain around my ribs.
I turned to my side and opened my eyes again, slowly.
I’m still alive. I’m not in heaven or hell, not in that mountain. I’m in a hospital room.
Two needles were stuck in my hand. Those are for the IV fluids that were hanging over the bed. I had an oxygen mask on, and it made me feel uneasy. I lifted it to check if I still needed it. When I realized I could breathe comfortably without it, I decided to take it off.
My arms were covered in bruises, and I was pretty sure my body and legs were too.
When I looked toward my feet, I noticed a woman with her head resting on the bed where I lay. It seemed she was watching over me. I wondered who it could be.
I tried to sit up, but my ribs hurt a lot. Could one or two of them be broken?
My movements awoke the woman.. She stood up and looked at me.
I knew the woman. I couldn’t be mistaken. She was the woman from the mountain. Without any hesitation, she hugged me. I was surprised, especially when she started crying unabashedly. It was awkward. I didn’t know whether to push her away or hug her back.
She was the reason I got beaten. She put me in harm’s way. Should I blame her?
Her hug tightened. At that moment, I suddenly remembered my sister. She would hug me tightly and cry, the way a woman does, whenever I confronted her about her wrong decisions.
“Dangsin-i sal-a gyesim-eul gamsadeulibnida.”
She thanked God that I was still alive. Should I also thank her for having survived the beating I got from her compatriots? Or blame her for being unable to push through with my plans.
“Jeongmal mianhae. Geugeos-eun modu nae jalmos-ieossda.”
The woman apologized, admitting that what had happened was her fault.
If you think about it, who was to blame for the beating I got? Could I blame the men who hit me, thinking I was assaulting their fellow citizen and a woman? If I had stumbled upon such a scene—a woman screaming, desperately trying to escape a man holding her tightly as they wrestled on the ground—what would I have done?
But is it my fault that it all happened because I stopped the woman from jumping? Was it right for me to try to stop her from taking her own life? The questions swirl inside me like a bitter winter wind, numbing any clarity I might have had. Yet, beneath the cold, like a hesitant bud breaking through the frost, I wonder if there’s any chance for warmth—if I did the right thing or if I’ve just trapped us both in an endless winter. Because of what I did, we continue to live. But does that mean we’ll also continue to feel the pain caused by those who neglected their promise to love us?
“How stupid of me. I put you in danger.”
She could speak English.
“Okay… okay… Just wait a moment! Let go of me first. I can’t breathe.”
She broke free from the hug. To my surprise, she knelt.
“Please forgive me.”
“Wait… wait… Please stand up. Don’t do that.”
The woman didn’t move. Her knees remained glued to the floor as she held my thigh.
I tried to stand. My legs and joints were in pain, but I managed. I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently lifted her.
“I am not blaming you for what happened to me.”
She stood up and hugged me again.
“Thank you. Thank you. But I’m sorry.”
After saying that, she gently sat me back down on the bed.
“Just sit down. You’re still weak. You are badly injured.”
I heeded her advice. I sat back on the edge of the bed.
“You might want to know. The doctors said all you have are bruises and contusions. None of your bones are broken.”
She pulled a chair and sat right in front of me. I couldn’t help but notice how comfortable she seemed doing all those things, as if we had known each other for a long time.
“By the way, I’m Su Jin.”
“Oh, and I’m…”
“Joseph! You’re Joseph. You’re from the Philippines. I’m sorry. I opened your wallet. I had to get information about you when I brought you here.”
I paused for a moment.
“Well, I think you had no choice but to do that. It’s okay.”
She took my cell phone and wallet from her bag and handed them to me.
“Here. Oh… I have your other personal belongings in my car.”
“Thanks. By the way, how long have I been here?”
“This is the second night.”
“How were you able to bring me to this hospital… from the mountain?”
“Those men helped me. I explained to them what happened. They’re very sorry. They were drunk at that time.”
Then I remember how I almost died in the hands of those men.
Ah, by the way, they’re paying for your hospitalization. They’re hoping you would not sue them and settle things amicably.”
Should I file a lawsuit? It doesn’t seem like it. If I were in their position, I might have done the same. It’s enough that they helped bring me to the hospital.
“I told them that they should pay you also for damages, especially if you decide not to work for some time because of what happened. They agreed. I’ll call them later so they can come and talk to you.”
It’s nice to think that she seems to have arranged everything. And she speaks English well. That’s not common among them. Unlike most of her countrymen, she must have graduated from university overseas or studied English seriously.
“How come you can speak English so well?”
“I studied in the US for almost 10 years. I just completed my Master’s there recently.”
That explains it.
“I was also able to contact your family in the Philippines.”
“Really? How?”
“Through your embassy. Your sister is coming to pick you up. She said you need to go home and take a break. By the way, Joseph…”
“Yeah?”
Su Jin hesitated. She seemed to want to say something, but was shy about it.
“Ah… Your sister told me your story.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know what happened.”
I didn’t know whether to be upset or not. My sister was so nosy.
“Is that so?”
She nodded and said, “We’re on the same boat.”
When I heard that, I couldn’t help but laugh a little. Su Jin laughed too. I don’t know why remembering what Jinky and my brother did to me didn’t bring any more bitterness.
Then she added, “They broke our hearts.”
I nodded, then said, “You wouldn’t believe this.”
“What?” Su Jin asked.
“I was on that mountain that afternoon to commit suicide.”
Su Jin froze.
“You want me to believe that!”
“But that’s the truth. Believe it or not.”
“Stop it, Joseph! I don’t believe you. You didn’t go there to die. You were there to save me. And you did.”
I just kept silent and listened to what she said. Who would believe that I went there to commit suicide? But instead of death, I found a new lease of life. But who was there for whom? Me for her or her for me. Perhaps we were there for each other. We were there to put an end to the harsh winter we experienced. We provided each other a spring of hope.
She took my hand. Her palms were so soft. She smiled and looked at me. Then, I realized how beautiful and sweet her face was, like the first bloom of spring pushing through the stubborn frost.
“”I owe you my life. You saved me. You are a very good man.”
I gently squeezed her hands in response, not knowing what to say. After all, was she the only one saved when I stopped her from jumping? I got saved as well.
“Thank you, too, Su Jin.”
She nodded and smiled and slowly bowed her head.
I don’t believe in fate. Everything that happens in a person’s life is the product of their collective decisions. But before I established my own belief system, informed by the things I learned and experienced, as well as the ideas I read and decided to embrace, my father told me when I was a boy that there are times when God intervenes in human affairs. Subconsciously, I sometimes revert to what my father said, rather than clinging to my new belief about fate. Additionally, he stated that everything happens for a reason.
So, how should I put it? Was it the will of God that I climbed the mountain that day to prevent Su Jin from jumping? But who prevented whom from jumping? It’s hard to believe that God would will Jinky and my brother to commit that treachery against me so that I would go to the mountain and eventually meet Su Jin. I think I met her on the mountain because we both decided to go there for personal reasons. But whatever it may be, it’s no longer important.
“By the way, aren’t you hungry?” That was Sujin breaking the silence as she let go of my hands.
“I brought some food.” She pointed to the table.
“Yeah, actually, I’m starving. Is there coffee available?”
“I’m afraid not, but there’s a café nearby. I’ll buy us coffee. What do you want?”
“Is it okay?”
“Of course!”
“Can you get me a caramel macchiato, please?”
“Sure! I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Wait!” I opened my wallet.
“No please. It’s on me.”
Before she left the room, Su Jin looked back at me. She smiled again.
“Don’t go anywhere, okay? Don’t run away from me.”
I laughed at what she said. Su Jin had a sense of humor.
I thought about her words before she left. It was funny, but honestly, I’d feel regret and sadness if she didn’t come back. It felt like she was filling some gap in my life at that moment. Did she feel the same way?
After a while, the door opened.
“Oh, you’re still here. I am glad you didn’t try to escape.” She said as she handed me the coffee.
“You’re funny.”
“Am I?”
She took a piece of bread from the table and gave it to me.
“By the way, your sister invited me to visit the Philippines. I’d like to. May I go with you and your sister? PLEASE. I need a little break.”
I looked at her and smiled.
“Chincha?”
I asked if she was serious. She looked like she was.
“Ne!.. Boo ta kam ni da!”
She retook my hands. She squeezed them tightly. It felt like she was warning me that if I disagreed, she’d twist my hands.
When I nodded, I saw how her face lit up with happiness.
“Yes! Gomabseubnida!”
Su Jin thanked me, and in her joy, she hugged me again. I hugged her back and rested my head on her shoulder. She allowed it. In that moment, the warmth of her embrace felt like the first rays of spring breaking through my heart’s long, harsh winter, offering a glimpse of renewal I hadn’t dared to hope for.
As for my mother, elder brother, and Jinky, I think I would eventually learn to forgive and forget, like the last snow of winter thawing and finally giving way to the soft bloom of spring.
Edge of the Fall (Part 3)
(A SHORT NOVEL)
I was about to start eating when someone arrived.
A woman.
I felt disappointed. Somebody had seen me. Our eyes met for a few seconds when she looked in my direction. It was the last thing I wanted to happen, for I didn’t want to leave even the slightest hint of my impending disappearance. She could possibly see my photo as a missing person when I finally hide lifeless at the bottom of this mountain. She could potentially provide a clue to my whereabouts.
I just hoped she’d leave quickly so I could dive into the ocean of rocks at the bottom of the mountain after I eat and finish my drink.
The woman was alone. I did not see anybody following her. Her brow was furrowed, her face set in a frown, and her eyebrows knitted together. Yet, even beneath the frown, her beauty remained undeniable, like the first flowers of spring pushing through the frost, fragile yet full of life.
She walked right past me, ignoring my presence. She was dressed in baggy jeans and a red hoodie, the vibrant color accentuating her fair skin. The soft breeze seemed to carry a hint of spring with it, the scent of blooming flowers—though the chill of winter still lingered in the air.
I followed her with my eyes. She stopped and sat on top of a rock. She had her back to me. She held her cell phone up to her ear. I wasn’t sure if she was receiving a call or making one. All I knew was that she was talking to someone and sounded like she was arguing with them.
Instead of eating, I watched her, hoping she’d leave quickly. Inadvertently, I eavesdropped on their conversation. Admittedly, she succeeded in distracting me from the very reason I was there.
The woman took the cell phone away from her ear, and it seemed like the conversation was over. I was startled when the woman suddenly screamed.
“Neohui dul-eun jiog-e gal su-iss-eo.”
I didn’t catch everything she said, just the words ‘hell’ and ‘two.’ Maybe she was telling the person she was talking to and anyone else involved to go to hell.
Then she stood up and repeatedly slammed the cell phone against the nearest pine tree to me.
Smash!
Some pieces of the broken cell phone even landed at my feet.
The woman sat down on the ground, sulking. She looked like a child who had been robbed of a toy.
“Salanghae! Geuleona wae?”
Apparently, her boyfriend had left her. She was crying. She sobbed like a child. Did I do the same? What a shame that the answer is yes. I cried a river upon learning that the woman I was about to marry was impregnated by no less than my brother.
I felt pity for her, understood her, and could relate. I stood up to give her a tissue.
As the saying goes, “Misery loves company.”
I slowly approached her. Just as I was about to hand her the tissue, she suddenly stood up and stepped over the rope blocking the way. She stopped right at the edge of the mountain. One wrong step, and death awaited her.
It seemed like she wanted to jump to her death… just like me. The difference is mine is planned, hers was a spontanneous decision.
I stepped over the rope, too.
She turned to look at me. Her eyes looked furious.
“Deo isang dagaoji mal-ayo.”
I understood what she said. She didn’t want me to approach her.
I stopped. But as she was about to jump, I quickly grabbed her arm.
She struggled to break free as I pulled her from the mountain’s edge. I was like winter, holding her back. Like the spring desperately trying to emerge but unable to break my frozen grip on her. When she kicked me in the thigh, I let go of her, but she didn’t manage to jump. Instead, I hugged her tightly from behind and lifted her away from the edge, keeping her from the precipice, like the last bit of warmth trying to push through the bitter cold.
“Naleul noh-ajwo!!!”
She wants me to let her go, but I didn’t. She was screaming and struggling until we both fell and rolled down the ground, luckily away from the edge of the mountain. She elbowed me several times. Cursed at me.
Then suddenly I heard something.
“GEUNYEOLEUL NAEBEOLYEODWO!”
That was a man’s voice.
It seemed like there was someone else.
And there was… and not only one.
A group of men suddenly arrived and saw us in that state.
They ran towards us. One pulled the woman away from my grip, and the others grabbed me. Three of them were holding me. They were reeking of liquor.
Everything happened so fast. A pair of slaps landed on my cheeks. Followed by a powerful punch in the stomach that put me to my knees.
I gagged from the pain.
They took turns slapping me. One of them was even pulling my hair. My ears rang from the force of the slaps that hit me.
While I was kneeling, I looked up at the men surrounding me. I held onto one of their knees.
“Please…”
“Dakcho!!! Shibalnoma!”
One of them cursed and even spat on my face.
“Let me explain,” I said in broken Korean.
But they wouldn’t let me. I received an endless barrage of punches and kicks… to my face… to my stomach… to my thighs.
I think my eyes were the only parts of my body that didn’t get hit.
While I tried in vain to parry the punches and kicks of my assailants, I managed to gaze at the woman still being held by the man who had pulled her away. She said something to the men, but I couldn’t understand her words. She was desperately trying to break free from the man’s hold.
Blood was dripping from the wounds they inflicted on me, but they wouldn’t stop. Their punches and kicks were like the unforgiving chill of winter—cold, relentless, and numbing, cutting through my body just as the frost cuts through the warmth of spring. One cut me off when I ran toward the mountain’s edge, hoping to jump and still achieve what I came here for. I fell to my knees again.
It wasn’t jumping off the mountain that was going to kill me; it was the merciless beating from these men. I didn’t intend to go that way
I regret not jumping as soon as I got there. I should not have planned to have a last supper. Instead of the food I brought, I ate painful punches and kicks and had their swearing and cursing as my side dishes. Should I’ve just let the woman do as she wished and followed her to the bottom of the mountain? It would’ve been just a flash of pain. Maybe I wouldn’t even feel it. Unlike the beating from these men, which was slowly killing me with pain, like the bitter cold of winter, it was relentless. I thought of spring—of the warmth and the possibility of change—but it felt as distant as a dream I couldn’t reach. I couldn’t even imagine it, not when I was trapped in this frozen moment, slowly succumbing to the cruelty of my assailants.”
Before I lost consciousness, I saw the woman managing to free herself from the clutches of the man who had grabbed her earlier. She ran toward me. She was trying to stop the men from beating me. I felt her body pressing against mine, her warmth a brief, fleeting contrast to the cold fury of the men beating me. As she tried to shield me from the relentless anger of her countrymen, it felt like the first sign of spring pushing through a long, unyielding winter. But it was too brief, too fragile, just like the hope I barely dared to feel. I struggled to stay awake, but my eyes just shut. Everything went dark.
To be continued…
