Chapter 1B – “Vanished”

You were finally asleep, breathing softly as the birds chirped outside. You looked vulnerable in my slightly oversized t-shirt, and I felt protective as I adjusted the fabric over you. Your face, once marked with passion and pain, was now peaceful. I gently reached for my camera, compelled to capture this serene moment. It wasn’t about keeping secrets but about preserving this fragile peace. I plan to show you this picture when you wake up.

As I focused closer, I found something that both worried and intrigued me – dark bruises covered your arms, thighs, and neck, making me uneasy. The playful atmosphere disappeared as I realized the storm you escaped wasn’t just outside; it was part of you, hidden beneath sleep. What demons were you running from? And were they still with you, even here?

The insistent chirping of birds announced the end of the heavy downpour.  I squinted at my watch – nearly four in the afternoon.  You were still fast asleep.  Curiosity gnawed at me.  Had you spoken of your past during the storm-tossed hours, or were the bruises the only clues to the battles you’d fought?  Pushing those questions aside for now, I glanced out the window.  A breathtaking rainbow stretched across the sky, a vibrant promise painted on the canvas of the newly washed world.  This was a scene I couldn’t miss.  Regret flickered across my chest as I leaned down, kissing your cheek softly.  It felt like a stolen moment, a fleeting glimpse into a life I was about to step away from, if only for a moment.  Pulling on my damp hoodie, I ventured out into the cool afternoon air, the weight of unspoken questions pressing down on me.  The heavy rain had stopped, leaving behind a rainbow and a stranger whose secrets lingered in the quiet of the hut.

The crisp afternoon breeze invigorated my senses as I wandered through the mini rice terraces, searching for the perfect vantage point to capture the rainbow’s brilliance.  Each step crunched on the damp earth.  There it was!  The perfect composition, the vibrant colors of the rainbow arcing majestically over the lush green fields.  A surge of triumph filled me as I raised my camera, finger poised on the shutter button.  But then, with agonizing slowness, the vibrant hues began to fade.  The once-proud arch dissolved into wispy streaks of color, finally vanishing completely.  Disappointment settled in my chest, a heavyweight mirroring the sudden emptiness in the sky.  The rainbow, a fleeting symbol of hope and renewal, had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, leaving behind a reminder of the impermanence of all things.  Perhaps it was a metaphor for our burning passion, a beautiful moment suspended in time, forever etched in my memory, yet ultimately fragile and fleeting.

Returning to the hut felt like stepping back into a different reality. The place buzzing with a strange intimacy just moments ago was now a tomb of silence. You were gone. My t-shirt, a symbol of our shared vulnerability, lay abandoned on the bed. A wave of sadness washed over me, sharper and more unexpected than the heavy downpour earlier.  Just a moment. That’s all it had been. Yet, you’d vanished like the fleeting beauty of the rainbow I’d tried to capture.  Pulling off the damp hoodie, I reached for the t-shirt. The faint scent of your body that lingered was the only tangible reminder of your presence.  At that moment, I knew I had to find you.

Disappointment clawed at my throat as I raced out of the hut. My voice echoed unanswered across the rice fields, the vibrant green mocking my frantic calls for your name. No sign of you anywhere. The wooded area behind the hut loomed, a dense curtain of trees beckoning strangely.  Without hesitation, I plunged into the cool shade, the silence thick and heavy. I circled the woods, my voice hoarse from calling your name, but only the rustle of unseen creatures answered. Panic gnawed at the edges of my reason.  Had you vanished like the fleeting rainbow, leaving nothing but a memory and a growing sense of dread?  Emerging from the trees, I stumbled onto the deserted road, heart hammering against my ribs. Still no sign of you

The playful afternoon sun hid behind the clouds.    I saw ominous storm clouds gathering on the horizon, their bellies a bruised purple. Fat drops splattered on my face, the first whispers of a coming downpour.  Rain. Again.  A knot of worry tightened in my gut. 

The sky fractured, unleashing again a deluge that transformed the path into a muddy river.  Raindrops stung my face, blurring my vision.  Several houses materialized through the downpour, their windows glowing with a warm, inviting light.  But I didn’t flinch.  Didn’t even consider seeking shelter.  The past, a relentless storm in itself, clawed at me, its icy fingers wrapping around my heart.  Taking refuge wouldn’t wash away the memories of the passionate moments we shared and the secrets behind the bruises I saw in your body.  So I walked on, the rain a baptism of sorts, a cleansing that couldn’t erase the darkness but perhaps offered a sliver of hope for redemption.

A flicker of movement in the distance snagged my attention. Through the sheets of rain, a solitary figure emerged – a woman, her form obscured by a large umbrella.  My heart hammered against my ribs, a frantic drumbeat against the storm’s symphony.  As we drew closer, the pounding intensified.  Could it be you?  Had you managed to snag an umbrella, your earlier hesitation forgotten, and rushed back to the hut, fearing for me in the downpour?  The thought ignited a spark of hope within me, a fragile flame that threatened to be extinguished by the relentless rain.  I quickened my pace, my eyes fixed on the figure, willing them to move faster, to reveal themselves sooner.  Every rustle of the wind, every flicker of movement beneath the umbrella, sent a jolt through me.

“Camille!” I shouted.

I quickened my pace, eager to see you again. But as I drew closer, I realized it wasn’t you. It was Elena, my fiancee.

“Jeff! I’ve been looking for you. Oh… you’re soaking wet. You’re so stubborn, you didn’t bring an umbrella.”

“Sorry… mo…mommy!”

The memory of the Camille touch sent a tremor through me, a stark reminder of the connection we’d shared just moments ago.  Elena, with her worried frown and rain-streaked face, seemed to belong to a different world altogether.  How could I have forgotten her existence so completely?  Was it the heavy rain, the isolation, or something sinister at play?  The weight of the forgotten ring meant to secure my future with Elena felt heavy in my pocket.  Was this a desperate escape, a temporary lapse in judgment, or a deeper yearning for something I hadn’t acknowledged within myself?  Elena’s presence, a symbol of my planned life, only intensified the confusion within me.  And then, another question surfaced, one that sent a shiver down my spine: where was the stranger, and what secrets did they hold that could so easily erase the love I thought I possessed?

“It sounded like you were calling someone earlier? …mil or Hamil?”

“Huh? No… no…no… no… I said mommy.”

“Is that so! The rain was so heavy I probably misheard.”

That’s when the series of lies I told Elena because of you began.

“Let’s hurry. Take a shower as soon as we get home. I hope you don’t catch a cold. Kuya Daniel and his wife are coming. It’s a shame my sister in Italy can’t come home. Damn Covid.”

Elena’s warmth beside me felt like a comforting illusion. My arm, draped around her shoulder, felt heavy with a lie.  My mind, a traitor to the moment, was a whirlwind of stolen glances and whispered conversations in a rain-soaked hut.  With each step closer to her house, with each shared laugh and casual touch, the memory of you intensified.  I kept searching, scanning the deserted streets, a desperate hope clinging to the edges of my despair.  But there was nothing – no flicker of movement, no echo of your laughter in the wind.  A wave of crushing defeat washed over me.  The shared joy, fleeting and intense like a summer storm, had vanished, leaving only the bittersweet ache of loss.  But then, a flicker of defiance sparked within me.  You might be gone, a ghost in the storm, but I had a tangible reminder – your photo, tucked securely on my camera’s memory stick.  It wouldn’t bring you back, but it would serve as a constant echo of our shared connection, a silent promise to unravel the mystery of your disappearance.

The life I’d built with Elena, once a haven of comfort, now felt like a house of cards, teetering on the edge of collapse.  Six months of partnership, years of friendship – how could I throw it all away for a stranger encountered in a drunken stupor?  Yet, the memory of your touch excites me, a stark reminder of an undeniable connection.  Maybe it was the alcohol, a lubricant for unspoken desires.  But why did I feel so abandoned after you left, your departure starkly contrasting our shared intensity?  The beer’s haze may have lifted, but my mind was still foggy, clouded by unanswered questions.  What was it about you that resonated so deeply?  Why did you vanish without a trace?  These questions, relentless and consuming, fueled a growing determination within me.  I wouldn’t rest until I found you until I understood the truth behind the intoxicating encounter that threatened to destroy the life I knew.

“Hey, Dad, you seem really serious? You haven’t been paying attention to  what I’ve been saying.”

“Huh, I’m just tired.”

“Tired? What did you do to get tired? Did somebody ride your flagpole?”

I knew Elena was joking, but I felt a pang when she said that. I thought of you and what we did.

“Hey… I asked if you somebody ride your flagpole?”

“What are you talking about, mommy?”

“Don’t pretend… you know what I’m talking about.”

“You’re funny, mommy… Who would do that here?”

“Who knows… maybe a forest fairy assumed a human form when she saw your handsomeness. Then…”

“Mommy, your imagination is really fertile. You’re not even a writer.”

“I’m just trying to make you laugh, Dad.”

Maybe you are a fairy. You’re so mysterious. You appeared suddenly… then disappeared suddenly. And now I’m under your spell.

“But you didn’t even laugh… you’re still serious. It’s like you’re thinking deeply about something.”

“Sorry, I just have a bit of a headache.”

That’s all I said so Elena wouldn’t feel bad.

“By the way, where is your brother Daniel coming from?”

“They live in the next village. They have a car, but they often just walk when they want to visit the house. There’s a shortcut through the mini rice terraces to get here. By the way… did you go there earlier?”

Should I say yes? Should I say I went to that place? Should I admit that’s where I came from?

“Huh… the terraced rice fields? I don’t think I noticed anything like that. You said the actual rice terraces are still far from here, right?”

“It’s still quite far, but some rice terraces are already here. They are also terraced.”

“Is that so,” I replied nonchalantly.

“You’ll find it beautiful if you haven’t seen it yet. That place is very scenic. Tomorrow, I’ll take you there so you can take lots of pictures and videos for your travel vlog. You’ll be amazed. And by the way… there’s a small hut there.”

“A hut?!”

“Yes, Dad… a hut… I’ll pack food, and we’ll eat there. I’ll bring beer for you… so that… you’ll see me as a goddess. And then… you know what happens next!”

I pulled Elena by the waist in response.

“My dad is really not in the mood.”

Should I tell her that I also know there’s a hut there, that I took shelter there when the first rain poured? Should I tell her we met there and something happened between us unintentionally? Did we really not intend for that to happen? Didn’t we want what happened there?

TO BE CONTINUED…