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Monthly Archives: October 2018

Cultivating a Positive Mindset

pos and negMindset refers to  the general attitudes of  people and the way  they think about things. It is what informs whatever decisions they make (or don’t make). It is what controls what they say and do. Their mindset is also the lens they use when evaluating the issues and events happening around them.

Factors related to  family, school, and environment are considered determinants of the kind of mindset that people display. How such elements  affect them as they grow older could be gleaned from the way they behave, think and talk.

A person’s mindset could be affected by the culture he/she has grown into and it could either be positive or negative. Studies done on mindset have established a strong correlation  between mindset and achievement and happiness. Needless to say that people with a positive mindset are more successful and live a stress-free life. They have either a flourishing business or a rewarding career (or both) and their personal lives are amazing.

A positive mindset can be cultivated if anyone wants to. But it’s easier said than done. It would require self-discipline and a very strong determination for it to happen. It will entail hard work. The rewards people with a positive mindset are reaping  are not being handed to them in a silver platter. Those are the fruits of the seeds of hard work they have sown.

We need to make a choice between having a “fixed mindset” or a “growth mindset.” Dr. Dweck explained that, “In a fixed mindset students believe their abilities, their intelligence, their talents, are just fixed traits. In a growth  mindset students understand that their talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching and persistence.”

Learning is a lifelong process. We never stop learning. We never cease to be students. The question is, “Which kind of student are we – with a fixed mindset or  with a growth mindset?”

I tried to cultivate a better mindset too. It is an ongoing process and I am happy with the results. How I wish I have started doing so when I was younger.

My journey to changing my mindset for the better was (and is) not easy. It made me completely overhaul my way of thinking that was programmed by the environment I have grown into and the kind of education I had. It is equivalent to getting out of my comfort zone because I have to change habits and routines that I got accustomed to.

I have in this part of my website the articles I have written on the subject of positive mindset. I want to share the lessons and insights I learned from motivational speakers whose books and videos on YouTube have given me the blueprint on how to restructure my way of thinking so I could live a better life.

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Defining Happiness

Do NOT Expect

On Positive Thinking

Self-doubt: The 8th Deadly Sins

On Perspective

On Personal Accountability

Beyond Positive Thinking

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Having and Losing Mark Andrei

(THIS IS A TRUE STORY)

Capture

“Life is like a roller coaster ride.” I couldn’t agree more to whoever said that.

Yesterday, you saw people beaming with so much happiness laughing so contagiously and shaking hands or exchanging high fives with everybody around them. Today, the same people  maybe crying a river in a desolate room smarting from the pains inflicted by something or someone. Tomorrow, what will it be? Nobody knows! They would have licked their emotional wounds and will emerge from that desolate room, learn to smile again and gradually laugh their way out of whatever bad experiences they had. If not, then we could surmise that they may have decided to stay in the shell of their grief and to plummet deeper in the unfathomable depths of despair.

Perhaps everything may depend on whatever twists and turns that were laid down by the grand designer of the tracks where our personal roller coasters run. We may desire all that we want to alter the course of our roller coasters and wriggle out of the undesirable whirls in the switchbacking tracks. But that’s impossible.

Eventually at a certain age, whether we like it or not, we begin to take control of our lives. That’s when the ride starts. Choose a car in the coaster train. There’s no turning back. All that we can do is to make sure that we’re buckled up. Expect the turns, ups and downs. Be ready to be  twizzled and twined. Accept that you could not avoid the spirals and the slammers.

 Generally, the way my roller coaster zipped through the tracks have both enthralled and frightened me. There were times, when I was younger, that  I wished the joy I was experiencing wouldn’t end. There were moments also when I thought I would not be able to wiggle out of the depths of despair and sadness but my faith in God (that I believe exists) and my unwillingness to succumb to challenges kept me afloat.

One of the most difficult parts of my journey in the tracks happened a few days ago. (I wrote this in 2009, just two weeks after IT happened.) Those days in my life were both exciting and frightening. Perhaps that stage of my ongoing roller coaster ride – that chapter in my life – could have been the most emotionally draining and exhilaratingly suspenseful.

It happened when an angel dropped from the clouds  and gave me the privilege of becoming his father (and my wife his mother) for seven days. That’s right – seven days only. I wanted it longer. But from up there in the roller coaster tracks where my car was (and up there I felt enormous joy). I was pulled down. That was a very steep slope. Then I felt passing through a twist and a turn and when my roller coaster made a sudden stop – the angel was gone.

What happened in those seven days?

Let me share what happened in each day.

Day 1:  https://madligaya.com/2013/03/19/father-son-for-just-seven-days-1st-of-7-parts/

Day 2:  https://madligaya.com/2013/03/22/father-son-for-just-seven-days-2nd-of-7-parts/

Day 3:  https://madligaya.com/2013/03/23/father-son-for-seven-days-3rd-of-7-parts/

Day 4:  https://madligaya.com/2013/03/28/father-son-for-seven-days-4th-of-7-parts/

Day 5:  https://madligaya.com/2013/03/31/father-son-for-seven-days-5th-of-7-parts/

Day 6:  https://madligaya.com/2013/04/03/father-son-for-seven-days-6th-of-7-parts/

Day 7:  https://madligaya.com/2013/04/04/father-son-for-seven-days-last-of-7-parts/

Pagbigyan Ang Hiling

CaptureMula bilibid, isang preso’y tumakas
Hating-gabi noon nang siya’y naglakad
Mapapasok na bahay pilit naghanap
Nang ng pera’t damit siya’y makadekwat.

Nakatagpo siya isang gate na bukas
Itinulak niya ito’t pumasok siyang kagyat
Bukas ding pintua’y kanyang itinulak
At sinimulan n’ya ang pangungulimbat.

At nang ang kuwarto ay kanyang binuksan
Mag-asawang nag-aano’y nagulantang.
“Walang sisigaw!” Ang banta ng kawatan.
At ang mag-asawa’y kanyang tinalian.

Ang lalaki’y masyadong kinakabahan
Dorobo kasi’y siya’y tinititigan
At matapos na babae’y saglit lapitan
Iniwan sila’t banyo’y pinuntahan

“Honey halatang ikaw ay kanyang tipo
Nilapitan ka’t humalik pa sa iyo.
Kaya nga’t nang manatiling buhay tayo
Pakiusap ko’y pagbigyan mo ang loko.”

“Hindi niya ako hinalikan darling.
Bagkus sa akin ay meron siyang inamin
Tinanong din kung meron tayong Vaseline
Kako’y doon sa banyo’y kanyang kuhanin.”

“Vaseline? Saan niya ‘yon gagamitin?”
“Darling… Siya daw kasi ay isang bading
At para tayo’y hindi niya patayin
Pagbigyan mo siya sa balak niyang gawin.”

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