I couldn’t agree more whenever people describe the workplace as  “a jungle.” I have worked for over thirty years in eight different institutions in two countries, so I have enough reasons to concur with that description. There are uncanny similarities in the behavior of people inhabiting the working environment and the animals in the forest. Even the patterns of relationships between people in the field of work resemble how the living creatures in the wild treat each other. Thus, they say, in the workplace, “only the fittest survive.”

I have been in this jungle called a workplace for more than three decades now. Here I am, still standing and breathing. I managed to hold my own against the animals I crossed paths with as I searched for greener pastures and overflowing water holes. I experienced being stared down by a lion, bullied by a gorilla,  stalked by an eagle, ambushed by a crocodile, bitten by a snake, and clipped by a crab.  Attacks that left me scarred. Nevertheless, I survived.

I have been in this jungle called a workplace for more than three decades now. Here I am, still standing and breathing. I managed to hold my own against the animals I crossed paths with as I searched for greener pastures and overflowing water holes. I experienced being stared down by a lion, bullied by a gorilla,  stalked by an eagle, ambushed by a crocodile, bitten by a snake, and clipped by a crab.  Attacks that left me scarred. Nevertheless, I survived.

I simply took a cue from Charles Darwin, who theorized that “species with useful adaptations to the environment are more likely to survive.” Adaptation is the name of the game. That exactly is what I have been doing (and what you should also be doing if you intend to stay alive and kicking in that jungle where you are now) – ADAPT.

If you wish not to be dinner for the predators, you should study the workplace environment where you belong. Know what kind of animals you are dealing with. Study them carefully. You also need to put your survival instincts into full gear.

If you decide to poke bears along the way, be ready to face the consequences. I did that. I poked bears to remind them they were not the lord of the jungle they thought they were. I took the bull by the horns. I did not chicken out. Thankfully, I survived.

Predators lurk in the shadows. It could be a big cat hiding in the bushes or a mighty bird hovering above. These predators could be the “people upstairs” or somebody from among you “downstairs.”

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean that all bosses who succeeded in their business endeavors did it at the expense of the people in the rank and file – like predators slaying their prey and eating them. It could be just a few, or half, or most of them. Nobody knows for sure. But definitely not all. Perhaps most of them (I hope) consider themselves rhinos, and the people they hire oxpeckers whom they allow to freely land on their backs to feast on the insects pestering them.

The point I wish to drive at when I posited that they (the bosses) are predators is that they are at the top of the food chain and like it or not, when you agreed to work for them, you entered their territory. They dictate the terms and conditions of your employment. That doesn’t sound good, but it’s the reality in the workplace.

The ones who own or manage the workplace are the alpha males. You need to have a full understanding of how they think and operate. Better if you could dig deeper and try to know what they like and dislike. Stay in the pack if it is not too much for your dignity (or EGO) to adapt to their whims and fancies. These whims and fancies could be the policies that you consider disagreeable. You’ve got to choose whether to follow these policies or not. For not following, of course, you are not naïve not to understand that there are consequences.  Following the terms and conditions of your employment is not equivalent to flopping onto your back to show that you submit to the alpha males. It is simply like the chimpanzees presenting their back, crouching, bowing, and bobbing to show deference to the alpha in their group.

If not, if you are tired of being an omega, if your ego clashes with that of the alpha, the wisest thing to do is find another pack.  You can be a lone wolf. Don’t be employed. Establish your own business and be your own boss. If you succeed and your business grows big, hire people – that is your chance to be the alpha and see if you are better than your former bosses (and hopefully) not worse than them.

Believe me, you cannot afford to take too much bravado and think you are that brave “angry bird” who would tweet your disagreement and not expect dire consequences. Your chirps and screams will not go unnoticed. Little birds that might tell them about your misplaced braggadocio are hovering around you. Before you know it, the eagle will swoop down on your nest and tear you apart with its powerful beaks. So, learn to hold your horses. Clam up. Just work.

More often than not, or almost always, locking horns with the “powers that be” in the workplace is like a deer thinking it could take on a full-grown lion.  It’s a losing proposition.

Of course, not all bosses are saints. Some would take advantage of the people they hire in different ways. That you’d discover (hopefully) in time. So, why stay in a watering hole when you discover crocodiles waiting in an ambush under the mud?

What about the predators among you “downstairs.”

Wherever you work, you’ll encounter malevolent individuals. So, be careful. Beware of the wolf in sheep’s clothing. These are co-workers who camouflage themselves as your friends but would stab you in the back when they have the chance.

Okay. Let’s talk more about the different animals in the workplace. You must be able to identify them if you want to survive the wild called the workplace.

We have already mentioned the monkey at the top of the tree, the big cats, and the mighty birds. Yeah… including the wolves pretending to be sheep.

Are there other animals you ought to be wary of?

Of course, there are!

Be careful of the buzzing bees called the rumormongers.

Thinking that they are your friends and therefore could be trusted, you share with them your darkest secrets. Later you’ll discover that the entire workplace is talking about the skeletons you keep in your closet. These people would let the cat out of the bag so easily.

Gossiping is a deadly disease in the workplace. So contagious it is that even the people who consider themselves professionals and think of themselves as decent individuals spread personal and work-related gossip.

Identify who among your co-workers is fond of tittle-tattling. Don’t say anything negative to them about the work, co-workers, much less personal matters. Just listen when they talk. Don’t fall into their trap.  They will quote you without batting an eyelid. But here is the best way to deal with them –  avoid them like the plague.

Among your co-workers, you should also be able to spot the crabs.

Why?

Do you know what happens when you put crabs in a bucket? They’ll try to escape by pulling back down others, effectively preventing anyone of them from climbing out of the bucket.

That’s the origin of the proverbial “crab mentality.” The philosophy of the malevolent among your co-workers is “if they can’t have a promotion or an incentive, neither can you.” Some people in workplaces just don’t want to see their co-workers succeed. They hate it when somebody climbs the ladder, especially if they’ve been there longer. These snakes would bite you with intrigue and gossip when they see you work harder than they do. They would accuse you of being a leech trying to suck the attention and favor of the people upstairs. Avoid them like mosquitoes and cockroaches, for they could carry a deadly disease.

Don’t allow the venom of the snakes to get through your nerves and kill your enthusiasm and motivation. Continue to work as hard as your personal values would allow you. That’s just the reality in the workplace – generally, there are two types of workers – the ants and the termites.

And with whom would you rather be associated – with the ants in the workplace who keep themselves busy working and helping one another to achieve the goals of the organization or with the termites, whose actions and pronouncements, deliberate or otherwise, are damaging – not only to the organization but more so to themselves?

They are basically a negative bunch that should be avoided at all costs. The termites hold a grudge against the people upstairs for one reason or another, and they think that by not doing their jobs the way they ought to and behaving oddly, they could get even. They spin tales about the organization’s current state to demotivate people. Be aware that the termites could also sow dissension among their co-workers.

Nonetheless, the people upstairs are not naïve. They could easily detect the existence of termites and get them exterminated.

Watch out also for the parasites in the workplace.

The parasites seem to have special training in detecting generosity. Once they have spotted a kind-hearted co-worker who wouldn’t say no when asked for favors, they will have a field day.  They would ask you to solve their work-related problems and sometimes even seek personal favors.

So, be careful. Learn to say no when you must, or they will waste your time and resources. They would not hesitate to abuse you.

It’s okay if they return the favor. The problem is the word “reciprocate” is not in their vocabulary.

They also tend to exhibit that selfish attribute in their work. You could neither expect them to walk an extra mile for the organization nor perform their duties and responsibilities as stipulated in their contracts. They care for nothing but their salaries.

Beware because where we work, roaming also are the “old dogs” – the dinosaurs who refuse to retool and retrain to cope with the demands of what has become a technology-driven workplace.

The infusion of technology in the different aspects of organizational functions is inevitable. They make work more efficient. Organizations that refuse to embrace this new reality are meant to either be eaten up by the competition or buried in the grave of insignificance that they themselves dug by refusing to change. However, some people in the workplace refuse to be in tune with this emerging and evolving reality by subscribing to the notion that “old dogs can’t learn new tricks.”

The relationship between the people and the organization should be symbiotic for the workplace to prosper.

Let’s consider the relationship between the clownfish and the sea anemone. It’s a perfect example of a symbiotic mutualistic relationship. While the fecal matter from the clownfish serves as nutrients for the sea anemone, the latter protects the former from predators.

You can choose between becoming a parasite or a clownfish.

The workplace gives you a venue for professional growth and a source of livelihood. You need to keep it afloat. Your organization needs your help for it to succeed and continue its existence. You may have disagreements with the people upstairs, but you must remember that commitment to your job and organization differs from commitment to your employers.

Lastly, to survive in the forest, you must clearly determine where you rank in the food chain. Identify the different kinds of animals there. And most importantly – don’t stand in the path of your predators.

It’s as simple as knowing your designated place in the organization, being mindful of your words and actions, and being careful with how you deal with everyone. And remember that the most foolish thing to do is to offend your employers.

You have to study the culture of the workplace. Again… ADAPT. Remember what Charles Darwin said, “It’s not the strongest  species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change.”

If you can’t adapt, feel disrespected and gravely offended, or think you are no longer growing professionally – what are you waiting for?  It’s time to migrate to another forest. And if you think there are better animals in other forests, good luck!