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Pagpupugay Sa Aking Mahal Na Ama’t Ina
(Tribute to My Beloved Father and Mother)
Kagaya ng ating pag-alaala sa Araw ng mga Santo at Araw ng mga Yumao, hindi ko pahihintulutang lumipas ang mga sandaling ito nang hindi nag-aalay ng parangal sa dalawa sa pinakatanging nilalang sa aking buhay—ang aking mga mahal na magulang.
Kung ano ako ngayon, kung ano man ang narating ko, ay ipinagpapasalamat ko ng malaki, una sa Maykapal, pangalawa sa aking mga magulang – sa aking ama at ina.
Walang sinomang makakahigit sa mga sakripisyong ginawa para sa akin ng aking mga magulang – lalong-lalo na ng aking ina na ang sinanapuna’y pinaglagakan ng mga semilyang binuklod ng Panginoon upang pagsimulan ng buhay kong pahiram Niya sa akin.
Sino ba ang pwedeng makahigit sa ginawa ng aking ina na siyam na buwang hinayaang ako’y maging bahagi ng kanyang katawan? Ang sinapupunan niya’y ang unang mundong aking ginalawan. At nang dumating ang panahon na kaylangan ko nang lumabas patungo sa isang bagong mundo ay ibinuwis niya ang kanyang buhay.
At sino rin ang pwede makahigit sa ginawa ng aking ama na nagbanat ng buto upang tiyakin na kaming mga mahal niya sa buhay ay may bubong na masisilungan at sa hapag-kainan ay may makakain?
Tiniis ng aking ina ang sakit upang ako’y mailuwal. Sinuong ni ama ang ulan at init upang ibigay ang aming mga pangangaylangan. Napakalaki ng ginawa nilang sakripisyo, magkatuwang ang aking ina at ama, sa pagpapalaki at pag-aruga sa akin at aking mga kapatid. Hindi ko pwedeng kalimutan iyon. At iyo’y hindi pagtanaw ng utang na loob. Iyon ay bunga ng itinanim nilang pagmamahal. Hindi ba’t nakatakda nating anihin ang alin mang ating itanim, mabuti man o masama.
Kaya nga nakakatawa nang sabihin ng isa kong tiyahin na ako raw ay maka-ina. Aba’y dapat lang. Ganoon naman ang natural na nagiging takbo ng mga relasyon sa pamilya. Madalas na ang mga anak ay nagiging maka-ina sa dahilang mas madalas nakikita ng mga anak ang kanilang ina sa bahay.
Subalit alam ko ang dahilan kung bakit madalas hindi namin kapiling ang ama sa bahay. Siya’y kaylangang maghanap-buhay upang kami’y suportahan. Maka-ina ako pero pantay ang pagmamahal ko sa aking mga magulang. Wala akong itutulak at kakabigin.
Nagtanim ang aking ina – ganoon din ang aking ama – ng pagmamahal na tumubo sa aking puso’t isip. Hindi ba matatawag na pagtatanim ng pagmamahal ang ginawa nilang pag-aalaga sa akin mula ako’y isang sanggol na walang kamalay-malay hanggang sa punto ng buhay ko na kinaya ko nang tumayo sa aking sariling mga paa. Inaani nila ngayon ang bunga ng pagmamahal na iyon at hindi nila ito kaylangang sungkitin, kusa itong lumalaglag patungo sa kanila.
Isang milyong beses mang magkamali ang aking ina ay hindi ko siya pwedeng talikuran. Katulad ng hindi ko pagtalikod sa aking ama noong siya’y nabubuhay pa kahit ako’y buhay na saksi sa mga pagkukulang niya. Tama o mali man ang aking mga magulang eh sila ang kakampihan ko. Simple lang ang dahilan – mahal ko sila. Hindi pwedeng burahin ng anomang depekto sa pagkatao ng aking ina at ama ang pagmamahal ko sa kanila.
Ang dalawang pinakamahahalagang aral sa buhay na natutuhan ko ay hindi galing sa mga guro ko sa eskwelahan. Ang mga aral na naturan na nagsilbi kong gabay upang mamuhay ng tama ay galing sa aking mga magulang.
Ang una – ang itinuro sa akin ng aking ama’y huwag akong umasa sa ibang tao. Dapat daw ay matuto akong tumayo sa aking sariling mga paa. Unang narinig ko sa aking ama ang mga konsepto na “magtiwala sa sarili” at “magbanat ka ng buto.” Simpleng tao lamang ang aking ama at pilit akong nagsikap at nagsusumikap pa dahil batid kong ang buhay na meron ako’t ang daang tinatahak ko ay ang katuparan ng kanyang pangarap.
Pangalawa’t huli – tinuruan ako ng aking ina na magdasal at magkaroon ng matibay na pananampalataya sa Panginoon. Ang pananampalatayang iminulat niya sa akin ay panghahawakan ko upang huwag akong maligaw ng landas. Hindi man perpekto ang buhay na tinahak ng aking ina at ama ay tiniyak nilang maituro sa akin ang daan patungo sa aking tagumpay at kaligtasan.
Ang isang bagay naman na natutuhan ko pareho sa kanila ay ang kultura ng pagbabasa. Sobrang hilig ng ama kong magbasa – 2 diyaryo sa isang araw. Hindi man siya nakatungtong ng high school eh “Inglisero” ang ama ko. Ang nakakatuwa, kapag siya’y nalalasing, hindi siya nagsasalita ng Tagalog, puro English. Dumudugo noon ang ilong ko sa pakikinig sa kanya, lalo na kapag pinipilit niya akong sumagot sa mga sinasabi niya sa English.
Ang ina ko nama’y magasin at komiks. Madalas ko din siyang nakikitang nagbabasa ng libro dahil nagpatuloy siyang mag-aral sa kolehiyo noong kaming magkakapatid ay malalaki na’t hindi na alagain. At tuwing hapon noon, matapos kaming magdasal ng rosaryo, kasama ang aking lola, ay nsgsilbi naming tutor ang aking ina.
Salamat po ama… ina sa lahat-lahat. Diyan sa langit ay baunin ninyo ang pasasalamat at pagmamahal naming magkakapatid at mga apo ninyo.
Dakila kayong mga magulang. Lubos-lubos ang pasasalamat ko sa Panginoon na kayo ang mga itinalaga niya na naging ama’t ina ko.
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We have just observed All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day, and I cannot let these occasions pass without paying tribute to two of the most special people in my life—my beloved parents.
Who I am today and whatever I have achieved, I owe to two great blessings in my life—first, the Almighty, and second, my parents, my father and mother.
No one could ever surpass the sacrifices my parents made for me, especially my mother, in whose womb the life that God entrusted to me first began.
Who could ever surpass what my mother did for me? For nine months, she let me become part of her body. Her womb was the first world I ever knew. And when the time came for me to leave that world and enter another, she risked her life to bring me into it.
And who could surpass what my father did? He worked tirelessly to ensure that those he loved had a roof over their heads and food on their table.
My mother endured the pain of childbirth. My father braved the rain and the scorching heat to provide for our needs. Together, they made countless sacrifices to raise, care for, and nurture me and my siblings.
I can never forget those sacrifices. And my gratitude is not merely a matter of repaying a debt of obligation. It is the natural fruit of the love they planted in our hearts.
After all, do we not reap what we sow, whether good or bad?
That is why I find it amusing whenever one of my aunts says that I am a mama’s boy.
Of course I am! And proud of it.
That is often how family relationships develop. Children tend to grow closer to their mothers because they usually spend more time with them at home.
But I also understand why our father was away so often. He had to work to support our family.
I may be a mama’s boy, but my love for my parents is equal. I would never favor one at the expense of the other.
My mother planted love in me—and so did my father. That love took root and grew in my heart and mind.
Was it not an act of sowing love when they cared for me, from the time I was a helpless infant until I was finally able to stand on my own two feet?
They are now reaping the fruits of that love. And they need not reach up to pluck them, for the fruits fall naturally into their hands.
Even if my mother made a million mistakes, I could never turn my back on her. Neither did I turn my back on my father when he was alive, even though I had witnessed some of his shortcomings.
Whether they were right or wrong, my love and loyalty to my parents would remain. The reason is simple—I love them.
No imperfection in their character could ever erase that love.
The two most important lessons I have learned in life did not come from my school teachers. They came from my parents, whose teachings became my guide to a meaningful, principled life.
First, my father taught me the importance of self-reliance. He told me never to depend entirely on others and that I must learn to stand on my own two feet.
From him, I first heard the expressions “believe in yourself” and “work hard.”
My father was a simple man. AndI worked hard then, and I continue to work hard today, because I know that the life I have built and the path I continue to follow represent, in many ways, the fulfillment of his dreams.
Second, my mother taught me to pray and to have unwavering faith in God. The faith she instilled in me continues to guide me and keep me from losing my way.
My parents may not have lived perfect lives, but they made certain that I knew the path toward success and salvation.
There was also one important habit I learned from both of them—the love of reading.
My father was an avid reader. He read two newspapers every day! Although he never attended high school, he spoke English remarkably well.
What amused me most was that whenever he had too much to drink, he seemed to forget how to speak Tagalog. Suddenly, everything he said was in English!
Listening to him gave me a proverbial nosebleed, especially when he insisted that I answer him in English. ^^
My mother, on the other hand, loved reading magazines and comic books. I also frequently saw her reading textbooks, particularly when she resumed her college education after my siblings and I had grown older and no longer required as much attention.
And every afternoon, after praying the rosary with our grandmother, our mother would become our tutor.
Thank you, Father. Thank you, Mother. Thank you for everything.
There in heaven, may you continue to feel the gratitude and love of your children and grandchildren.
You were extraordinary parents.
And I will forever be grateful to the Almighty for choosing you to be my father and mother.
REMEMBERING MY DAD
I sorely miss the best dad in the world. My pop.
My dad was a clever, good-looking Batangueño with great humor. That’s the best way to describe him.
He was a merchant. He would buy different products (clothes, kitchen utensils, blankets, mosquito nets, etc.) from Divisoria and sell them in far-flung barrios (villages) in the provinces of Central and Northern Luzon. He would bring me along occasionally, especially during summertime. His capability to interact with people, make them laugh, and convince them to buy fascinated me. There were times when my father challenged me to initiate and close deals. I tried so hard to copy his excellent business acumen.
Aside from teaching me how to communicate with customers, my dad also impressed upon me when I accompanied him in his business sorties the values of hard work and patience. We sweated, huffed, and puffed as we carried the products he was selling and walked together through muddy rice paddies to reach the homes of potential customers in places that the vehicle he hired could not reach. This was how I realized that whatever we want in life will not be served on a silver platter.
My dad was the reason why I developed a fondness for reading. He was a voracious reader. He would read three newspapers daily – Bulletin Today (now Manila Bulletin), Tempo, and Balita. He did not spend a day in high school but was so good at English. He was my first English teacher.
He was also why I included “teaching overseas” among my career options. In the late 1990s, when I informed my dad that I was about to complete my Master’s, he asked, “How much would your additional degree add to your monthly salary?” I gave him a rough estimate of my monthly pay should I get that graduate degree. He shook his head and told me that my cousins (and the husband of a cousin) who have no Master’s but are working as seamen are receiving salaries three (3) to five (5) times higher than mine.
My dad, due to circumstances beyond his control when he was young, could not get a college diploma. But he valued education. He was the one who pushed (and helped) me to get a college diploma.
He was also why I included “teaching overseas” among my career options. One night in the late 1990s, when my dad visited me in my flat, I informed him that I was about to complete my Master’s; he asked, “How much would your additional degree add to your monthly salary?” I gave him a rough estimate of my monthly pay should I get that graduate degree. He shook his head and told me that my cousins (and the husband of a cousin) who have no Master’s but are working as seamen are receiving salaries three (3) to five (5) times higher than mine.
My dad did not underestimate the degree I was about to earn. He merely challenged me to maximize the returns of whatever degrees I earned. That night, I revisited my career path and included ESL teaching abroad as an option.
My coming here to South Korea to teach was not an overnight decision; it was part of a plan that my dad influenced.
I love you, Dad!
Honoring My Parents
(A Personal Essay)
I am so blessed because God gave me the best parents in the world.
My parents are not perfect persons. They are flawed and sinful – like you and me. They were not even the best couple. They eventually decided to dissolve the marriage that produced me and my two siblings. But believe it or not – they are the best parents a son or a daughter could ever dream of having.
I love and respect them both.
Nobody could do what my parents did for me and my elder brother and younger sister. They have done more than what mothers and fathers ought to do for their children. Their sacrifices to ensure that I and my siblings get past the critical stages of infancy was tremendous to say the least. They were there for us as we advance from childhood to early adulthood. They were never remiss of their obligations. They performed their duties as parents, with love and joy. I would never forget how hard they tried to ensure that we would have what we needed to survive until we reached the age when we could already take care of (and decide for) ourselves.
What my parents did for us went way beyond providing our physiological needs. They loved us unconditionally and provided us security and belongingness. And despite their personal imperfections, they did not forget to empower us through the values which they tried to teach us and to model through their examples.
When we were young, my mom, a devout Catholic, strictly required us to be home by 6 o’clock PM so we could recite the Angelus and pray the Rosary together. Failure to do so would be met by painful whips delivered through a long thin bamboo stick. Both of my parent are loving and caring but we’d better tow the lines they have drawn or else we would face dire consequences.
Those bamboo sticks taught me one thing – discipline. When I experienced how painful it was to be struck by them for the first time, I said never again. So, I followed the instructions of my parents to the letter.
We would have dinner after our prayers then my mother would help us do our homework. She would require us to read our books after those tutorial sessions.
That was how we were introduced to the values of prayer, discipline, and education. My mom was chiefly responsible for laying the foundation of my faith and for developing my study habits. She also kindled my competitive spirit through the candies and biscuits she would give to whoever among us siblings could answer her questions from the stories she read to us during the tutorial sessions we had with her.
My dad contributed also in the development of my study habits – particularly the reading part. Every day, a newsboy would deliver him newspapers – one broadsheet in English and two tabloids, one in English and the other one in Filipino. We read those newspapers together and as we did so, my father would speak to me in English. My dad was very good at English, despite completing only Elementary education. Through those conversations in English that I had with him that I started becoming fascinated with the English language. My interest in literature – stories and poems – was I think the result of my mother’s fondness for comics and magazines written in Filipino which I would also read when I am done with my father’s newspapers. These things, later on, would influence my choice for a college degree – Bachelor of Arts in English, a course in the Philippines that focuses on linguistics and literature.
The importance of education was something that both my parents impressed upon me. It was from them that I first heard that “education is the great equalizer.” I believed them. They saw my seriousness in the pursuit of education and they supported me until I completed my tertiary education. My siblings did not fall in love with education the way I had. They took different paths.
The value of faith – that’s what my mom inculcated in me. On the other hand, the values of hard work and patience are my dad’s most important gifts to me. He taught me through his examples to be self-sufficient and to never assume that somebody will serve to me in a silver platter whatever I want in life.
I also tried to emulate my dad’s good communication skills. When I accompanied my father in his business sorties (he was engaged in a buy-and-sell business then), I marveled at his uncanny ability to make people laugh and to convince them to buy.
Later on I realized that the values I learned from my parents are the very things I need in my pursuit to become the best version of me. Those values are the inheritance I received from my parents. They are priceless.
Stored in the hallowed corners of my memory vault are the best times I spent with my mom and dad. The one thing that I could recall in my most distant past was one night I woke up with my chin resting on my dad’s broad shoulder. I lifted my head and saw my mom walking beside us. She gently touched my cheeks then took me from my dad. They alternately carried me until we reached my aunt’s home.
That piece of memory was so precious. It would constantly remind me of the love and affection of my parents. It made me feel important… that I am connected. It helped me develop self-esteem growing up.
I will forever be grateful to my mom and dad. They are the best gifts I received from God.
